Relationship anxiety

[Macbook]

I struggle with anxiety regularly but manage to keep it at bay most of the time. However my anxiety always surfaces in certain situations around my relationship. I’ve been with my partner for 2 years now and we live together.
He has never been outwardly romantic and has never done any romantic gestures for me. I try to tell myself that he’s romantic with the little things in what he says and at home, but I can’t help being annoyed that he doesn’t do more actions to be romantic. I have spoken to him about this but nothing changes. When he chooses his day off to hang out with friends, my anxiety builds as I don’t see why he doesn’t want to spend that time with me. We live together so in his mind we are spending time together all the time. But I want to experience more things outside of home. I struggle knowing whether it is my anxiety that is making me think I should break up or whether it real.
how do we know when our feelings are real or it’s just anxiety playing tricks on us?

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

I used to fall in love quickly, before I really got to know my partners. This was often the result- finding that you are living with someone that really doesn’t fill your needs.

Being romantic is the same as having humour or is a procrastinator- it’s in their DNA and this is why he hasn’t acted on your chat with him.

Fo you want to have flowers occasionally, a romantic dinner? Maybe a cuddle on a hilltop looking at city lights or an occasional neckless? Then you know that you convincing yourself isn’t enough.

If you split then don’t settle for someone that doesn’t provide you with it all. I have found it all in my adorable wife. I do all those things- and because I lOve fashion I even buy her dresses! She is my size so if it fits me it fits her ! (Just joking)

I hope I’ve helped

TonyWK

[Wizard1]

Hi Macbook,

Welcome to the forum.

Your feelings are triggered by him and thus are real, there is no question about that. It is more of a question of how to react to these emotions.

How important are these things to you and why do you need them to feel loved? You've mentioned what is missing from him but what are the positive aspects of him? What about him makes you feel loved? Does he come across to you as the person who'll be there for you in your greatest need? You need to have a balanced view before you can make any decision.

Also what do you do to make him feel loved? Sometimes these problems can be solved by taking action for yourself rather than waiting for the other person. Maybe instead of waiting for him to be romantic with you, be romantic with him. Find something for the two of you to go out and do together.

A lot of what I said is more for you to contemplate than to answer here. However, feel free to say anything on your mind.

I hope this helps,
Wizard.