My Anxiety Has Been Bad

[AussieWoman]

Hi everyone,

I have been feeling really anxious ever since my younger twin brother was rushed to the hospital a few days ago. He was diagnosed with an infection in his bowel which was treated and he has since been released. But I've been really anxious in the days following and I can't seem to sleep very well lately either.

I'm also constantly thinking about the fact that I haven't had any friends since the age of 16 and how I might not ever have friends in the future because I get so anxious in social situations that it feels so crippling. I see others my age having social lives but I don't. I feel like such a failure and I don't know how to stop feeling the way that I do. It's really getting me down, I feel like I should have had a full-time job, been in a relationship (had a boyfriend), and had made friends by now but because of mental health issues, I haven't been able too.

It has been really hard, I have seen a psychiatrist on May 4th which was also the first time I admitted to someone about not having friends/relationship and I can't seem to get it out of my head now. I feel really unaccomplished and I'm worried that I might never have the things I want in life. I have never felt this anxious before, not even when I was first diagnosed. The worst part is that in the Welcome and Orientation where I first made a post I was really optimistic that things would change and now I'm in a funk and don't know how to get out of it. I have spoken to my family but I still feel really low.

Any advice any of you have or reassurance that things will get better will be greatly appreciated.

Thanks for listening to me and I hope I begin to feel better. Covid-19 has definitely brought out the worst in my mental health and I think it might be a good thing too. At least now I know what the problems are but I will need help in figuring out how to overcome them.

[ecomama]

Dear AussieWoman

Welcome! I'm sorry to hear you've been having a rough trot. Scary hearing your twin brother was unwell, I'm glad to hear he's doing better now, yay!

Have you made some goals with your GP / Psych?

I had a Mental Health Care Plan appt with my GP tonight and it went ok. He asked me what I wanted to achieve and I thought what?? crikeys, to improve EVERYTHING lol. Ummm apparently that was too broad lol. I have 5 specific goals now and we can start there when I finally get to see a Trauma Psych.

I want to say things WILL get better. And if things don't then we will 😉

Putting a rational slant on things you mentioned, it might be a leap expecting a fulltime job during a pandemic, just sayin'. It's high unemployment time and if you have a job at all then AWESOME. Sometimes anxiety and other MHIs make us put unrealistic expectations on ourselves anytime, even during a pandemic AND high unemployment. See what I mean?

Do I intuit a FB thing going on? Do tell. FB can wreak havoc with our MH seeing all this stuff all the time.

Friends... yeah. May I make a suggestion? ok thanks! lol. You can start a "Dream folder". In it can be anything you dream of. A poodle - oh have mine! lol. A farm, oh I don't know what you like but you do. And activities. Trips for later.. no matter how broke you are now.

I truly believe that when we're really following our inner impulse to try something then we should. Shut anxiety in that cupboard over there, squeeze it in there, while you imagine doing an activity you want to do eg skydiving, mountain climbing, oh just joking, maybe eating in a café with a friend, learning how to cook, playing guitar, anything. You can put happy pictures from the internet of people doing these things and photos of yourself in your folder doing them. Or draw them. Find courses, groups on the net and prepare for post-covid.

If you love these activities then the people doing them love it too. Already you have something in common. Connections can be made and bonds may be formed.

What's going in your folder? I'm going to start a new one. I actually got almost everything in my last one from 10y ago, far more actually. I want to enrol in a laughter workshop.
Your turn...

Lovely to meet you.
EM