Relapse of anxiety after three years-feeling very unwell

[luciban]

Hello I have not posted for about 3 years as I have been feeling so good and have not had any "major" flare ups of my anxiety. The last three days have been pretty hellish. Both my sons haved lived together in Melbourne and I am in Northern Victoria. My youngest son suffers from social anxiety and depression. He has been up and down trying different medications for the last 12 months. It has been reassuring to know that our eldest son, even though he works and has a full life has been around to keep "an eye" on our youngest. They are very good mates and close. Our eldest has just moved to Sydney over the weekend and our younger son is in the apartment on his own with most of the furniture gone. I am so concerned that he is on his own and has had to adjust to his brother not being around as well as trying to cope with his symptoms. He has a couple of friends that live on the other side of the city and has been seeing a counsellor. The counselling has finished but he still catches up with her at a support group once a fortnight. I think this has definately set off a flare up of my anxiety. The feeling/symptoms are exactly the same as I experienced 3 years ago-waking up extremely anxious in the am, restless, not wanting to be alone, not able to eat, not wanting to be inside, running to the toilet constantly, crying a lot! I have been on a medication over the last 3 years which has certainly kept me well but it does not seem to be working at the moment as I have had a recurrence of symptoms. I am normally a very high functioning person with a highly stressful job in health care which I love and cope with very well. I hate getting up in the morning and feeling like this. I am worried it will last a long time again as I didn't feel better for about two months after the last episode. I have rang the chat line which helped enormously just to have someone to talk to even though I was crying a lot of the time. Is there anyone out there who has been through a similar experience and can give me some hope? I need to stay well for my son. Thank you

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[Croix]

Dear Luciban~

I'm please to be of help, as for being strong - um.

By now you may have had your first day back, if so how are you?

With your mother making up tales to her partner, how well do you get on with him? The best foil to her antics is for her not be be believed of course.

Croix

[luciban]

Dear Croix, I have had 3 good days at work. There is still quite a bit of stress related to my position at work. I have a support person and my Dr is fully supportive. I am at the moment considering another position and reducing my hours in this environment. It is more than likely to be better for me long term, even though it won't be as stimulating as my current position.

My mother contacted me and listened to my concerns regarding her lack of support. She said it is something you have to "deal with yourself" to which I replied that it is nice to have someone to talk to when you are having an acute relapse. She then proceeded to tell me that she had a minor fall and had been tripped by her dog, but she was ok! I asked if she had rung my son to see how he was going and she said she had tried but they don't answer. She is very concerned as her husbands grandson has anxiety and is not responding to treatment. She does not seem to be attentive to her own family at all. Her partner is nice but I wouldn't say we get on famously. He is very dominant in his own family and often states that my son should be left to look after himself. I think Mum is very easily influenced by him and tries to say things that please him. I feel a lot better so have a little more fortitude when dealing with her behaviour. We would be the first ones she would ring if anything drastic happened with her partner and would expect our support. Thank you for your support.

[Croix]

Dear Luciban~

You sound more on top of things and that's pretty good to hear. Do think there is any particular reason for the improvement?

You work situation sounds good as you have a bit of latitude to consider a less stressful position. If you think it will be better for you long term that it might be a wise move, even if not as attractive as your current activity. What do oyur support person, Dr and husband think?

[Croix]

Sorry, must have hit the wrong key and posted, will continue...

I find getting other's views helpful, not that I always accept them, but it is a bit of a check on my own thinking which is not always completely sensible if I'm in an anxious state.

You mother sounds exactly as you described her before, not realy taking your situation to heart. Pity her husband does not sound like a potential ally. I"m glad oyu feel more able to deal wiht her at the moment. I've found it upsetting when I've been forced to realize how limited an individual my mother was.

Please let us know how you are getting on and what you decide wiht your job.

Croix

[luciban]

Hello Croix I have been feeling a lot better and have handled being back at work well. I look back to the last 2 or 3 weeks and how unwell I was and it almost seems like I was a different person, if you know what I mean. It seems the anxiety takes away all my sensible thought and rationale, I have to get out of the house and walk immediately (I know this is the fright and flight response), nauseous and little appetite. I have had blood tests with my Doctor and they did not find any physical reason for the flare up. It seems I am very sensitive to anxiety about my children at this stage in my life. I am mapping out a WRAP today which may help me move through another relapse in the future. I have an interview for a new job which as I said is not as stimulating but does not involve as much shift work, which definitely does not help my anxiety. I will let you know how I go. your words of support and caring are so reassuring. Thank you.

[Croix]

Dear Luciban~

One of the things I've found hard to remember when going though a period of extreme anxiety or depression is that there is a life afterwards, and it is very different. When ill the world or at least my attention seems to shrink down to a number of seemingly insoluble problems. If one can remember how different it can be that is a real boost.

I'm pleased not only about how you feel at the moment, but at how wise you are to be taking steps with your job and planning to have resources for the future. Just ignoring existing problems when things get a bit better is a bit of a trap. I'm sure you are doing the right thing reassessing what you need to do.

God luck with the interview

Croix

[blondguy]

Hello Luciban

Thankyou so much for posting back and being a part of the forum family too

Its great that you have been feeling somewhat better recently...you deserve to be! I was thinking about the flare ups with anxiety that you were having. Croix is spot on when he mentioned that its difficult to see any hope when our anxiety is spiking.

Just out of respect to you, I have been on a low dose SSRI for 22 years to help me help myself with the chronic anxiety I used to have. You are a proactive and self aware person and I hope the meds are of some help to you

I also have had anxiety flare ups where my daughter is concerned and they are bad news. It can be hard to care for our young one when we are faltering. My GP prescribed me a low dosage of anti-anxiety meds that I only take as a last resort if my anxiety starts to spike. I hardly use them yet knowing they are there provide me with some reassurance that I have a plan B which actually decreases the anxiety

Just wanted to say that you are not alone Luciban. My GP mentioned that my flare ups are only me releasing too much adrenaline (causing the flare ups) thus the increase in my anxiety levels

I hope Sunday is good to you 🙂

my kind thoughts

Paul