Please Help

Guest_245 · ‎15-09-2020

Please can someone give me their perspective or advice of sorts. I am 26 years old and it has only dawned on me once I turned 25 that I may be suffering from Social Anxiety. I hate it. I don't know know who to talk to about it. Today I went to put make up on which feels like such an effort and when I have it on my face, why do i feel that when people talk to me they are looking at my moustache area which gets me realllllyyy self conscious about it and then I end up getting agitated in front of the person and hate them for it because I would never do that to them. And then I am worrying because of my lack of a social life that I have missed out on dating and getting a boyfriend which gets me nervous because when I do get one, I will be thinking that this is my first boyfriend, i have never been kissed and that I am only ever going to have one boyfriend in life. I just hate this all

Petal22 · ‎15-09-2020

Hello,

sorry you are feeling this way...

I am happy to chat with you..... it would also be a good idea to see a gp and let them know how you are feeling..... they could do a mental health plan with you this would give you 10 free sessions with a phycologist... a phycologist would be good for you too see... they could give you many strategies 😊

When you are talking to people I don’t think they would be looking at the parts on your Face that make you self conscious.... anxiety can give us these thoughts and make us feel self conscious.... they are your thoughts...... we can’t read other people’s minds... ( good way of putting it into perspective)...there is no need to hate people for your thought....

they could be thinking a lot of positive things.... 😊 we have no control over what others think..... we have control over the way we react.... that’s were our power is....

You can always start socialising more... maybe go out with a friend.... your boyfriend may be just around the corner.... don’t listen to your anxiety... defy it... go out...

😊

Guest_245 · ‎15-09-2020

thank you very much for you words. The thing is I have thought about a GP but everytime I make the appt I can't go ahead because it is embarrassing and it's like I am not allowed to speak up. Probably thanks to my parents being so overprotective when I was younger, particularly my father. I probably feel like I have to please people by staying quiet and not offending anyone. I struggle with even asking a friend to go out which is why I don't call or text anyone because I feel I haven't got much to say to them and then I wonder why they never ask me to go anywhere, including parties, which I never was apart of. This life is very suffocating. But apart from all this, I really want to do something but it's all the negative thoughts processes in my head at times such as the one I stated that stops me from doing so and I end up getting agitated with myself and the person I am with.

and to add on, in terms of the boyfriend thing, do guys still ask the girl out as I am someone that prefers this? and also, I never had a hobby before, never travelled, to scared to even bloody exercise outside the home. The only things I do is work, work and work, go to the shops, drive and stay at home with my parents and brothers and I am sick of it and I should of asked which I forgot, when I sense people are looking at my face weirdly, can I ask them what to see their reaction. Please can I just do that without feeling judged for it.

uncut_gems · ‎15-09-2020

Hi,

I'm also 25, about to be 26, and it can be a frustrating time where you feel like you're not really getting what you want out of life. I totally agree with Petal22 that getting a mental health plan together with a GP is a great idea, and it sounds like you know that but are afraid to take that hardest first step. Just getting there is really half the battle, but once you get the ball rolling you really will start to feel better.

In regards to your dating question, customs vary based on your area and culture but I think it's considered acceptable for someone of any gender to ask out anyone else, even if the expectation is generally that the man will ask the woman.

Warmly,

Gems

Petal22 · ‎15-09-2020

Go ahead and make your appointment 😊 your gp isn’t going to judge you... they are professionals you CAN do it... tell them exactly how you feel..... it’s the way you will get help 😊 they will understand.... let them know you would like to see a phycologist 😊 see a female gp if it makes you feel better 😊

You don’t need to people please anyone.... you need to grow as a human being.... please yourself and speak out more... it’s within YOU ..... believe in yourself 😊 text a friend ask them if they want to go and and socialise with you 😊 you will think of things to talk about..... think about things you like...

You say you have negative thoughts..... we CAN all change our mind sets to be more positive.... try to tell yourself positive things about yourself every day... look for the positive in everything..... feed your mind with positive thoughts ... tell yourself why you are grateful...... 😊 just waking up each day is a reason to be grateful or being able to walk in the sunshine 😊

it’s either with boyfriends girl can ask or boy...... 😊

start each day just going out for a walk outside 😊 the sun will make you feel good 😊

you CAN change your life and patterns but YOU are in control of that.... start by making some changes...

if you want to ask people why they are looking.... you can .. it’s up to you....

If your mastouche makes you feel self conscious you can go and have it waxed or threaded at a beautician or threading shop 😊

Make your gp appointment... get started on helping yourself your future self will thank you for it 😊

I’m here if you want to chat

Guest_245 · ‎15-09-2020

Thank you for your input. I am aware of MHCP's but I am terrified of coming out with feelings and thoughts with the wrong person and I don't want it to come back and bite me. I don't know about therapy and medications have always been a no no. Pretty much I feel very undecisive in this area of my life.

Guest_245 · ‎15-09-2020

I think i am afraid of coming across those wrong and nasty people in life that manipulate you to the point it confuses you and controls you and I absolutely hate them. This is why I never would add them on any social media outlet. I have been in the presence of one recently and I hated her because I could sense all she wanted to do was make out like I did something wrong and then would tell others behind my back. They are just so bossy. And all I would do was smile to her face and be bloody polite even though she made me anxious so much I couldn't tolerate sitting in the same room as her, so I went to the staff room. I do apologise for the rant but I have this built up hurt and anger in me that these people just like to abuse my sweet nature and that's why I dull myself down. And yet, these people travel and do so much and yet they come across me, and all they want to do is turn me off from everything they talk about with me. I don't get it. I couldn't care less about there lives ( in a non jealous way, I mean) I am really very sorry for this because it is no one's fault. You are all so helpful in pushing me to do something that is extremely hard for me. And the fact I have no one I feel I trust enough to talk to about things that arise in my life to help me move past it and improve.

Guest_245 · ‎15-09-2020

Please help. I dont even know if these forums will work. I dont know who to talk to

Sophie_M · ‎15-09-2020

Hey, thanks for reaching out here on the Beyond Blue fourms. We sympathise with how isolating and overwhelming soical anxiety can be. We also understand how anxiety-provoking the thought of opening up to a health practioner is for many. Would is be easier to schedule a video-appointment or perhaps see the doctor for something unrelated to get a sense of their character and whether you feel they are trustworthy?

You might want to gain advice from our Support Service. We’re available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport. One of our professional mental health counsellors at our Support Service will give you support and point you in the right direction for help in your area. There are also resources on our website that might help guide you through this dilemma:

We hope you'll find our valued forums community helpful as this is a safe, non-judgmental and supportive place.

Ggrand · ‎15-09-2020

Hello,

We are really sorry your struggling so much with your anxiety...

I have been where you are now..and still on occasions when my anxiety is high can’t even get myself to my volunteer job..One day per week...but I am improving...I was scared to go to my GP and talk to them about my feeling and thoughts..I did get my courage up and went...I haven’t look back since....

I am wondering ..If you would feel comfortable with one of your parents going alone with you..if you want them to stay in the waiting room while you speak to the gp ..that’s okay..and it’s okay if you need them in the consultation with you....Also, if your to scared to talk about what’s troubling you..you could show them the posts that you posted here or write your thoughts and feeling down on a piece of paper and handing it to them..,,many people with mental health do it this way..

Its hard honey..to mend yourself..it’s in my opinion virtually impossible..It’s so important to get help..Just like a broken bone needs medical and professional help..so does your mental health...Please try as hard as you can to make an appointment and reach out to your GP....It’s so very important to be kind to yourself as much as you can....

Thats okay about the rant..that’s what here is for...getting it out a bit helps us ..

Do you have anyone at work that is nice to you that you might be able to visit each other’s places until you get a little bit comfortable, then maybe branch out to a coffee shop?...small baby steps ...

We are here for you,ntalk or rant anytime you feel up to it dear..

sending you my caring and kindest thoughts..

Grandy...