Physical sensations anxiety or something serious?

[amalee78]

I had been congratulating myself on being so much better the last few months, now here I am again.

I am totally fixated on my armpit at the moment. One day I thought one armpit looked puffier than the other. I couldn’t feel a specific lump, just an overall puffiness type thing. Ever since then, my anxiety has just been out of control.

Now I feel like sometimes I can feel a feeling - like a sore muscle, type ache in my armpit. It is not all the time, but I would feel it every day. I think maybe the feeling moves, though, sometimes it’s at the front crease of my armpit, sometimes towards the back. I don’t think it is ever actually IN my armpit (if you know what I mean)

Sometimes when I can’t feel that funny ache, I look for it and wonder why it’s not there....and the worst part is I’m just not sure if sometimes it’s just in my mind. I do definitely feel it though. It’s getting to the point where I can’t look at myself in the mirror, or touch that part of my body. I’m just not sure that’s normal.

My husband has looked many times and says both armpits look the same to him, and that they don’t feel different to him. Then I think to myself, if it was something fatal he wouldn’t be able to see it anyway...

Surely if it was the C word the pain would be severe and constant, not coming and going? I am fixated on lymph nodes, but I have to honest, I don’t even know where they are in my armpit (are they right up in the top? Or around the edges?? Probably best not to answer anyway, it will just fuel the beast for me).....But, again, how normal is it to worry about something like that if you don’t even know where you should be worried about or what it would feel like? I just need some help.

I’m sorry for the long post, but I just can’t get past this. I also just can’t keep living like this anymore. Of anyone has any words of wisdom for me I would appreciate it.

[Sophie_M]

Hey Amalee78,

Thank for you sharing this on the Beyond Blue Forums. It takes a lot to be open and vulnerable about what is going on for us, so thank you 🙂 It is really good to celebrate the progress we have made when it comes to our mental health so its good to hear you have been doing that! It sounds like the physical sensations are causing a lot of stress and worry for you which I can imagine would be hard to deal with. We would really recommend you speak to your GP about these concerns just to be on the safe side and then focus on the mental aspect of the stress this must be causing, with a metal health practitoner or even one of our counsellors on the help line if you are needing immediate support with that. We are always available on 1300 22 4636 or web chat or email available at www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport. 
We hope you can get some support here on the forums as well.
Warmest Regards,
 

[therising]

Hi amalee78

Sometimes it's only we who can sense a subtle change in our self. You could ask a dozen people whether they can see or feel that change and they just can't. Even a GP may say 'I think there's something there but I'm not convinced, so I'm going to send you off for a scan just to make sure'. You gotta respect a doctor who questions his or herself to that degree.

If you've come to trust what your body's telling you, over the years, no reason to stop trusting it. Go see your GP. Could be a muscular thing or he/she might send you off for a scan because they're just as curious as you. They might also run some bloods, to see if your endocrine system is doing some quirky things.

I've found trusting in my own body to pay off big time in the past here and there. Not trusting has, at times, complicated things. Can remember calling an ambulance some years back due to overwhelming abdominal pain. The paramedics put the pains down to severe reflux, seeing I'd had several attacks in the past and a history of mild reflux. Something in me was saying 'You need to go to hospital, this is not reflux. This is serious'. I didn't listen, I trusted the call of the paramedics and didn't go. Next week, I had my gallbladder removed in an emergency surgery, after months of gallbladder attacks and what had become serious inflammation.

Amalee, it pays to trust. If you're wrong, it won't matter. If you're sensing something's off, it will matter even if it's a minor concern that needs a little tweaking to fix. What do you feel your body's saying to you?

🙂

[amalee78]

Thankyou for your reply 🙂

I guess the problem for me is I can’t trust what I’m feeling....This has happened to me a lot....There’s been a few times I’ve been worried about sensations to the point I can’t live my life - only to find out they’re nothing. I was convinced I had bowel cancer (I had an endoscopy and was fine); thought I had glaucoma....optometrist said it was a stress headache....Thought I had unspecified cancer of something on my abdomen and my gp didn’t even look at it and prescribed anxiety meds (which I’m not taking)..

This armpit thing has been hanging around for awhile. A couple of years ago, I was convinced of the same thing, went to the doctor to be told there was nothing there. I also have a real phobia of the doctor and really hate going and asking questions...

So, knowing all that, now I just can’t trust the beast within....while also believing it to the point of exhaustion. My husband has told me that it is my anxiety that needs to be checked, so I don’t know.

I do appreciate your reply.

[Petal22]

Hi amalee78’s,

Sorry you are feeling this way....

I use to worry like you about parts of my body......it drove me to have severe anxiety....... all of this became a pattern for me I’d worry about one thing to the point of obsessing over it to being worried about thoughts that I’d have...... (intrusive)....

I seeked professional help I saw my gp who put me on a antidepressant for my anxiety, I did a mental health plan with my go this gave me 10 free sessions with a phycologist who gave me many strategies for anxiety I also saw a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with OCD..... Obsessive Compulsive Disorder........ it’s a anxiety disorder..

this then led me to a OCD clinic where I did group therapy for OCD... this is we’re I learned to master my OCD.....

im so grateful for our health professionals for without there help I don’t know we’re I’d be now........ I have now recovered from this condition.....

reach out to our health professionals they are here to help us 😊

I’m here if you want to chat

[amalee78]

I almost cried when I read your reply. It’s such a vicious cycle. I was diagnosed with Generalised Anxiety Disorder a few years ago - but I haven’t been back to the psychologist for 2 years. I also took one tablet that my GP prescribed me and didn’t take anymore because I hated the side effects....I guess I almost only have myself to blame, I’m not making very healthy choices at the moment in regards to my mental health.

i wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy. All those things I said I thought I had over the years sound so ridiculous when you read it out loud - except that each and every one represents months and months of stress, fear and not being able to relax, or be calm or happy. Every single time, once I knew it was nothing all sensations vanished and never returned. It’s really awful.

This time I keep trying to challenge the intrusive thoughts I’m having (which is what my psychologist told me to do), but either there is something actually wrong with me or my anxiety is completely out of control (which it is) because I am struggling to get my mind off this. Surely if it was something serious it would not come and go, and the sensations would not move around.

I am seeing my gp in a week and it can’t come soon enough.

I really do appreciate hearing your experience and thoughts.

[Petal22]

Hi amalee78’s,

please know you are not alone...... many, many people have this condition..... I did my OCD therapy with another group of people who had the same disorder....... yes it is a vicious cycle....... in my OCD therapy I learned to “ break free” of the vicious OCD cycle ...... I’ve been free of it now for many years...... I’ll be forever grateful for the therapy it gave me back a full life! If I can learn to break free there is hope you can too!

I remember thinking while I was in the depths of OCD I need help..( it was so frightening and exhausting).. that’s why I knew I needed the help of health professionals to get better! I’m so glad I did..... my life is now the BEST it has ever been..... please, please seek the help you need! GP through to a psychiatrist for a diagnosis... if it is OCD ask to do a group therapy with a clinic that specialises in OCD...... I was told group therapy gets better results than one on one sessions.....

The vicious cycle of OCD

inital thought

attn to thought

efforts to control

analysing the thoughts

stop signal

......................

in my therapy I learned what my compulsions were:

seeking reassurance

checking things

avoiding thoughts

I’d do this on a mental and physical level.... I learned to disengage from this behaviour..., ( this frees me from the vicious cycle of OCD)

I learned meditation, attention training, mindfulness, thought challenging... all great strategies for OCD intervention...

try meditation look for one that is for learning to watch your thoughts....

You will get through this...... please know I’m here if you want to chat or need support...

if I can recover from severe OCD there is HOPE you can too with the correct help....

step forward and seek the help you need to recover! 😊

[Petal22]

Also amalee78’s,

I understand what you are saying.... going through OCD was like going to hell and back again I’d never wish it upon anyone!

also if you dr google please stop doing it, it only makes our anxiety worse .... I learned it was a compulsion of mine....

it’s usually the nicest of people that develop this condition...

hang in there.... there is light at the end of the tunnel... stay hopeful 😊 and positive...

😊

[blondguy]

Hi amalee78

I understand physical feelings of anxiety and they are horrible to have amalee

just for your info a member wrote an excellent thread topic in 2019....Its huge yet worth a look and see!

www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/anxiety/what-physical-feelings-of-anxiety-do-you-get-/page/19

Great to have you as part of the forum family!

my kindest

Paul

[therising]

Hi amalee78

Imagine if someone said to you 'Okay, I'm going to lead you to become so tuned into your own body to the point where you begin to notice everything. You'll notice subtle changes, twitches, tingles, bumps and bruises, churning, buzzing and the list goes on. You'll even gain the ability to sense the second your nervous system begins to ramp up a little, the split second things change'. My question to you is 'Do you think you'd be good at mastering this?' I imagine so.

Of course, people do actually practice this form of self mastery. Just the other month, I met a guy who is a martial arts master. As he said 'I learned old style where you don't go through obtaining all the coloured belts as you graduate, you simply go from white to black after years of practice and self mastery'. He went onto practice more than this. He was taught to 'tune in' by a master who led him into practicing further self understanding. I discussed with him how most folk think I'm a little crazy, talking about how much I love working up to feeling the buzzing sensation in my feet and hands in my daily practice each morning. He smiled before saying 'If you think that's amazing, just wait 'til you can feel that buzzing through your whole body. It's mind blowing'. By the way, quantum physicists say that our cells vibrate at a sub atomic level. Some can feel the vibration or buzz, some can't. The guy I mentioned meditates on feeling it. In our conversation, we also discussed elements of quantum physics. He's a fascinating guy who has the amazing ability to bring out the best in people.

You could say the ultimate question you're faced with, regarding your armpit area, is 'What am I feeling and what am I seeing?' Depends who you ask, in the way of getting an answer. A GP may say 'There's nothing wrong'. A psychiatrist may say 'It's your anxiety or OCD'. Another person may say 'You're naturally tuning into your armpit area and therefor will see all subtle differences and will feel all subtle feelings around this area. You're deeply sensing what you're focusing on'. If you shift your focus to a different part of your body, you may sense things in that part of the body you may never have noticed before.

I cant' help but wonder whether you'd be able to sense buzzing in your feet. For me, drinking more water makes it easier to feel. What about...try rubbing your hands together really fast for about 10 seconds and then stop. Can you feel the buzzing and warmth? That's energy.

🙂