Physical anxiety symptoms

[TheDuke]

Hi all

as I have posted elsewhere I am going through a bit of hell starting my meds with extra anxiety. 4 days in and told to go at least 2 weeks.

its really hard. At times it seems impossible. At least during the day I can walk etc.

but most nights I wake at 4 am. I immediately get that awful anxious feeling through my chest.

it cold dark and i don’t know what to do. I am so frustrated I just want to cry.

[TheDuke]

Time for my daily post. It seems to be an important part of getting through my day at the moment. Still feel a bit guilty about this constant attention seeking as I desperate need reassurance all the time.

My psychologist hasn’t really given me much.

I have tried mindfulness stuff but can’t keep my thoughts grounded.

The way I see things now is this perpetual loop of thoughts in my head. Things should be ok. They really should! But I am constantly “checking in” thinking “hoping I don’t get anxious” then guess what there it is. Maybe this was why the meds were so hard.

i wonder how to break the loop. Mindfulness seems to leave too much space for these thoughts. I can only keep myself so busy.

[Just Sara]

Hey Duke; (thanks for the info David and also a warm welcome to Glitter)

I'm glad you went to see your doc about the med's situation. Bugger about your psychiatrist though. It seems to be the same for everyone I'm afraid. Yeah I know; psych talk becomes a 'hobby' so to speak. (lol) It's normal ok so don't worry too much.

Mindfulness is to take you out of your head into the here and now with your eyes open; it's not meditation.

Using our senses such as smell, sight, taste, hearing and touch will bring your mind into the present moment. So with practice, focusing on your immediate environment can bring calm.

Mundane activity such as washing up is a great way to sidetrack your mind. Concentrating on each movement while making simple decisions like whether to wash a cup or a glass might seem futile, but can be very therapeutic.

David - It's nice to know something about you; thanks. My worst time for anxiety was at night due to loneliness and fear from sexual assault. (Previous traumas) One night I instinctively moved my bed against the wall and got my dog to sleep on my bed. I've only had a few restless nights since. Who would'a thunk?! I hadn't had a decent night's sleep for 20 yrs until then.

Sometimes it's simple concepts that take us out of the dark.

Glitter - Welcome to the forum! It's great to see you here joining in and telling your story. Good on you...

Hope you're all having a nice weekend. Mine's been productive...

Kind thoughts to all;

Sez

[TheDuke]

Help! I’m so scared.

Dont know what to do anymore.

maybe time to call 000. But what will happen then

[Vin5]

Hey duke- I just wanted to let you know that I too am dealing with exactly what you’re dealing with.

It’s like I can’t stop thinking the same revolving thoughts and anytime I feel a little bit positive, I get cut down by the same thoughts but only feeling worse because I thought I was improving. It seems like it will never end. I’ve told my partner but don’t feel comfortable telling her the gritty details as I fear she will think I’m weird. I’ve never cried so much in my life and it feels like I’ve lost control of my own brain. All I keep thinking is that I’m gonna keep going. No matter how bad it gets I’m gonna keep going. I’m not gonna expect to get better over night but if I have a good day or even a good half hour I’m going to be thankful for it. Anxiety is playing tricks on our brains and making us think unrealistic but terrifying thoughts. Something I personally find helpful is knowing that there is always my diaxepam available if it gets unbearable and I need a break. In the mean time I try to keep my mind occupied which is easier said than done. I hope your anxiety improves, if only a little bit, and may you progressively start having more positive days.

[TheDuke]

Cheers vin.

feels like one step forward. 5 back at times.

Today I was remembering back to myself only a couple of months ago. Why can’t I just be him again. I still have the same things and nothing external has changed.

In my mind things are just out of balance. If you only I could get a good night sleep, be able to sit still and relax. If I take meds to help sleep I wake feeling awful and can’t do much. If I don’t take meds I don’t sleep and feel awful the next day and can’t do much.

i know what you mean about telling your partner. Mine has been so supportive. But I am leaning on her too much and is not fair on her. I don’t want this crap to scare her away with this bull crap anxiety. I am now staying with my parents for a bit to take the pressure off her a bit.

[Just Sara]

I'm sorry it's hit you so hard Duke. I hope you called 000 and are in the hands of professionals. Hang in there buddy ok. Sorry I haven't been around as the weekend bought extra family activity. Hope to hear from you soon;

Sez

[Just Sara]

Hey and welcome Vin;

Great to see you posting with such a positive mindset because that's exactly what it takes to see you thru the tough times. In my worst hrs a few yrs ago, I pushed thru minute by minute with the same attitude until life got a bit easier. Good on you for taking life as it comes.

I'm wondering if you'd like to create your own thread. Most regular members have one which is visited by others to support and encourage each other. You probably don't see them as once our threads reach 100 posts, they disappear from the normal post section into the 'Long Term Support Over the Journey' section of the forum.

It seems Duke might be laid up for a while so his thread mightn't get much activity. Because you've posted on here though, if there's a new post it'll turn up in your 'My Threads' section. If you hit that button it takes you to all the threads you've contributed to so you can catch up.

The other thing is, and I say this with all due respect, providing specific medication names is against posting guidelines, but you can say what 'group' they belong to like Benzo's or Antidepressants. It's just a reminder due to some people being 'open to suggestion' thru desperation.

It's great to meet you by the way. I'm sure Duke will be stoked you dropped by when he returns. Hope your experience on the forum's a productive and uplifting one. I'll keep an eye out for you ok.

Warm thoughts;

Sez

[TheDuke]

Thanks for thinking of me.

Havent been to emergency yet. But have family looking out for me.

One day when this is all a bit more clear I think I’ll write a hell of a book.

[Just Sara]

On'ya Duke! Really pleased to know you've got support. And please; if it gets too much during late night or early morning panic etc, call the mental health hotline in your state. They're a 24/7 free phone service that can answer questions or refer you to a local service. Their advice is gold!

"This too shall pass" 🙂

Sez

[TheDuke]

Thought I would give an update on my progress.

After stopping the AD I found that my anxiety was just as bad, and not getting better. I was actually in a pretty bad place and it was not a fun time.

After further medical advice, I restarted the AD medication, am now on day 6 and committed to giving them a proper go . The first few days were really stressful as anxiety was through the roof.

Things are feeling a tad better now, but still have a long way to go. I am still worrying (way too much) about all sorts of things and am still off work. I find it very hard in social situations at the moment and am lacking motivation. Feel that even the most basic thing is hard work, let alone more complex tasks. I am working on a day-by-day basis at the moment. I hope that shortly I will start to feel myself again.

The most difficult thing for me is getting the correct med/non med therapy in balance. If I take meds to help sleep for example, I will be tired the next day and not be able to exercise. But if I don't sleep same deal. I am hoping that i will be sleeping without help soon, so this will be possible. I have written down an ideal plan for a day if I can wake up with some motivation.

This has been a strange experience where I feel like a completely different person