Relationship anxiety

[Morgz20]

Hi, I am new.

Just asking if anyone knows of any good strategies to stop/control/manage negative irrational thoughts involving what your partner might do to hurt you?

When I get these thoughts they feel out of control. They start off with just one little thought, which I think my rational brain can handle. It goes away for a little while, then out of the blue, it will come speeding into my brain not holding back. Until my rational brain loses the fight and I break down in tears.

I do talk to my partner about these thoughts, and they reassure my rational brain. I feel better... until the next one comes. So, talking to my partner is only a quick fix, I need a solution to manage these thoughts on my own.

Thanks for your time 🙂

[Tired_and_sleepless]

Hi,

Thanks for your post and honesty. I honestly don't know how to help as I feel the same way. I get worried about silly things and they build up so much in my mind I can't control my anxiety. It's like I sabotage any goodness in the relationship by not trusting my partner. It's not jealousy, just not being able to accept love or intimacy.

Im glazing talking with your partner helps, if I do that I'm worried I'll only push her further away.

Good luck for managing it. Personally I go for a run, walk the dogs or ride my bike. Do my own thing till I feel better.

Dave

[Morgz20]

Hi TAS,

Thanks for your reply, I am glad I am not the only one.

My anxiety definitely feels like sabotage, I don't like it, I need it to stop.

Sitting down and having a conversation with your partner definitely helps I feel. My partner didn't understand my anxiety and was starting to get annoyed with my questioning. But I did sit down with him last night after I posted the original post and told him what was happening. He was more understanding, comforted me and offered to take any more questions I have.

I do many physical activities, team sport, yoga, walking dogs, gym, beach trips, they are really nice but I feel they are a distraction and I catch my anxiety hatching a plot while I am doing them, its like I can't get away from it. My rational brain and my anxiety feel like two different people who are trying to control my body. I have also tried writing the thoughts down on paper and ripping them up, but they keep coming back.

[missy8]

hi, im new to this

ive just read your post and i feel i can relate.

i have recently started a relationship, i was single for a long time prior to this due to a bad breakup. mysel and my partner have been officially dating for one month, things got serious fairly fast and we spent the first three weeks together everyday. i felt a little anxious over these weeks due to it all being new to me.

the past week we have spent alot of time apart due to work and i have found that my anxiety is through the roof, i try and talk to him about how i am feeling and it just turns into me getting offensive and crying! my brain just wont stop, everytime a hear from him i am fine but then about half hour later i over analyse everything he has just said and my brain starts questioning why he said things he said, is he hiding something, is this the end, even though it was just a simple conversation.

i dont want to lose this but im afraid if i dont stop then i am going to ruin things.

i have some habbits that i do when im anxious and he has picked up on them already, he got abit upset with me last week because i couldnt stop one of my habbits, he told me i need to stop it because i have no reason to feel anxious and i told him that i dont realise im doing it.

i have just recently got back into the gym and im trying to calm down but im really struggling.