Panicked beyond exhaustion by health anxiety

[azarrah]

Hey all, so I know health anxiety is a common trend here. I suffer from it also, so I always try to offer my support to other people who are going through the same thing. But now, I could really use some reassurance of my own...

Basically, a few days ago, I found this mole underneath my chin. It's new, it's large, it's dark, it's different, and it's slightly irregular. You can see the problem immediately, I'm sure. I think it came from a pimple, but whatever it used to be, it's a dodgy-looking mole now. I did what you shouldn't do: I turned to Dr. Google for help, which naturally told me I had melanoma and should go to a doctor right away because melanoma can kill you within 6 weeks. Joy.

Normally, I ignore that stuff. The problem is, this thing actually does look rather like a melanoma, and it is new, and it has come in very quickly. It fulfils most of the "warning signs". It would honestly be stupid not to get the thing checked. By a complete coincidence, I have a surgeon's appointment to get another mole removed - for purely cosmetic reasons - in two weeks. I don't think I can wait that long. Is it even wise to wait that long? I'm going to explode with dread!

I was kind of okay with it until tonight, when an article I was reading said two terrifying things: if the (potential) melanoma is raised already, and if little black dots can be seen in it, you're in trouble. Well, my mole friend has both of those things. This cold panic just washed over me. To reiterate, I know it's unlikely. But it's not impossible. That's the problem.

I just can't stand the thought that this mole might, possibly, be growing and doing evil things while I live a normal life. I can't stomach it. I want to throw up, I'm so scared.

I guess this is partly health anxiety, and partly legitimate fear. I know the likelihood of my mole being a melanoma is very slim, but the possibility is there, and it does fulfil the criteria.

How do you guys deal with such panic, in the meantime? Meditation doesn't work for me, unfortunately.

[SubduedBlues]

Hi Azarrah

You really do need to be careful about what Dr Google says, because if you are feeling fatigued, nauseous, headaches, constipated and/or you have a craving for particular food, then you're pregnant (and that diagnosis doesn't consider whether you are male or female)

At the very least, a quick visit to the local medical centre will alleviate your fears of Dr Google's (mis)diagnosis.

I deal with it by accepting that there is absolutely nothing that I can do that will change the outcome. I just have to wait until the expert can evaluate and advise. Sure, the waiting can be hard, but re-read that last sentence. I have to accept there is absolutely nothing that I can do to change the outcome. Only in the acceptance can I find peace.

Best wishes, go see the doc, and let us know how you get on.

SB

[Iamacatlady]

It's too late to say this but never ever google your symptoms! It can be so hard, though, when you're scared and looking for reassurance.

You should get to the GP as soon as you can if only so they can reassure you, if there's a bulk bill place near you then you can probably even go tomorrow. Don't wait because it is just going to weigh on your mind until then. More likely than not they are going to tell you everything is fine. Moles can be scary and it is hard for a layperson to diagnose themselves or tell a normal mole from a bad one.

As for relaxation techniques in general... Sigh.... I don't really know... That's why I'm here too.

Distraction has been the best thing for me, so that you aren't thinking about it 24/7. Do something you enjoy, go for a walk around the block, even having a shower and getting dressed might ease your mind for a little while. Its about trying to get in even 10 minutes where you aren't obsessing about it that you can build on.

Reading stories from other people with similar worries can be helpful too as they put things in perspective and make you feel less alone.

Basically, distraction is going to be your best bet, in my opinion.

In the long term, are you seeking psychological help for your anxiety? When you're at the GP they can put together a Mental Health Care plan if you don't already have one and get you started on the road to feeling better.

The likelihood that you have melanoma is so small, get to the GP, get confirmation that you're fine, distract yourself with a walk and get psychological help.

Im sending you love and caring. You are not alone. Let us know how you go.

[bluewater]

hello azarra,

Dr google we all know its not great but just cant help it sometimes.

The one thing that only sometimes helps me is knowing and telling myself I cant change the outcome regardless. take care

[azarrah]

Thanks all for your support and suggestions. I really appreciate it.

Interestingly, that mole really must have been weird, because it fell off the day after I posted this and just left a red mark beneath. I feel very relieved about it. Will still show the spot to the GP next week, because I don't know what could have caused that to happen, but it's obviously nothing very serious.

I started receiving help (as in, I went a GP, mentioned all my physical symptoms, couldn't even mention the scary words Mental Health, and she saw right through me...) - but I never ended up with a referral to a psychologist, just some online suggestions and general lifestyle advice (which I have done my best to follow). I wasn't interested in a referral at the time. I'm also an interstate student and about to go home for the long holidays, so there's no point doing it now. When I come back, I will probably go back and ask for one, though.

Many thanks again!

[Iamacatlady]

Thanks for keeping us updated and I am so glad to hear you are okay! 🙂

[azarrah]

Thank you! I'm having another mole removed very soon, and during the initial consultation, I asked him to check out the slightly dodgy one. He said it was no problem at all, which was relieving 🙂

As a more general update, I'm actually feeling quite a bit better overall. After a myriad of blood tests my GP determined I was low in iron, vitamin D, and low TSH (thyroid). I'm now taking iron and vitamin D tablets and within two weeks, the results have been moderate, but identifiable. My anxiety and depression have noticeably reduced, which is great. It's an incredible reflection on the close connection between body and mind! I'm hoping that as my vitamin and iron levels slowly come back to normal, my symptoms (both physical and mental) will reduce even further.

Of course, the side effects of the iron tablets have also been noticeable...but that's okay. There's no perfect solution haha

[bluewater]

Hi Azarrahs,

interesting my gp wants me to have a blood test to check my iron levels and thyroid function and I keep putting it off.

[cakeboss]

are there any symptoms when low in iron and vitamin d and thyroid.I see dr today to might mention it .I have had a very bad uti infection and on strong antibotics.Does anyone else somtimes panic that it can be somthing worse when suffering from anxiety.

[Makka79]

Yeah panic attacks always cripple me and I feel like something is wrong with me.. im actually going trough a panic attack now