Overwhelmed

[Neverhaveiever]

What a month. 
I’m disabled and hubby is my carer, and the last month has been hell.

My sister sold her house after her hubby passed from cancer, so we (hubby) had to help her move, that was ok. 
A friend has tenants in his house and while he is away at work I look after things. I get a call the day my sister is moving to say there has been a fire at the house, so my daughter and son in law helped with boarding up windows. That began the nightmare with tenants insurance company who are not doing their job at all. We feel so bad for tenant who is a single mum with 5 boys. 
Number three on my list, four days after sister moving and fire, my 84 year old mum broke her tibia and fibula. 
I’ve had to go to Perth, we live in the country, and stay with my daughter so I can visit mum. It’s so hard as hubby has to stay with our animals, so my health has taken a nose dive. I can’t shower myself nor dress myself some days, so the task has fallen to my daughter when I’m there. 

my sisters want to put mum in a nursing home but mum isn’t ready for that yet, so she is coming to stay with us while her leg heals. My hubby has been getting the house ready as the OT did an inspection and told us we needed to do a few things. He started on the list and he broke a rib, so life has been a massive struggle the last few days.

I’m just so overwhelmed as I don’t want to let mum down and have to send her into a care facility, I don’t want to let the tenant down from the property as she was homeless for 8 months prior to my friend renting her the house, I don’t want to let my friend down because he doesn’t have anyone else to help whim with all the insurance stuff. 
I feel like I’m drowning some days. 

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

I can recall 40 years or so working in a pizza restaurant and people shouting at me for their pizzas. My boss had hurt his back so couldnt attend and my casual worker called in sick.

Everytime a person yelled I took 10 seconds away from my work and quietly told them "I have one other speed and that is slower". And stared at them when I said it. Two customers left. The rest kept quiet.

I dont know if it's this era or not but I suspect it is, that people are less considerate and show less kindness. Not to say they arent kind in general but people are thinking more for themselves in a new era of "who shouts loudest gets served quickest". I think you are currently experiencing the worst of that and the fate of a run of bad luck all at once.

There is only one answer to this- take a step back and breathe deep and long, take every 3rd day off to just chill out and while you are doing that pat yourself on the back for your efforts considering your restrictions. Say to yourself "I am wonderful, I've got determination, I will succeed but I have to look after myself, "charity begins at home".

It isnt easy saying "NO". You can say it calmly and compassionately and other people should accept that and find others to help them out. Why dont they? The reason might surprise you... people like you are a "soft touch" in that they know they can call on you anytime and you will say yes, you will run to the rescue so to speak. 

A good friend once told me "imagine if it was reversed, if any situation came your way and you needed them, would they down tools, take a day off work to help you accordingly"?

If no then you know where Charity begins...

Take care

TonyWK

It's time to put YOU first.

[tranzcrybe]

Well the old saying "Bad things always happen in threes" fits perfectly here (although we shall count Hubby's rib as 'self imposed' to lighten your load).
I commend you on your selflessness and capacity to prioritise tasks in tending the needs of your mother - healing may take some time for the elderly and sadly you might need to consider all options for her care to ensure she receives the best outcomes.
Insurance will be going through the process of assessing the claim and that takes as long as it needs. All you (and the tenant) can do is be patient.
Doing the best we can is never 'letting anyone down' even if not living up to expectations.
But in the vain of platitudes, remember that "this too shall pass" (and things usually have a way of falling into place without our absolute control).
Perhaps you will receive reassurance from the way people come together in times of need. This can sustain you through the ordeal and provide comfort in family and faith in human nature, but somehow I feel you already have that awareness.