OCD and public perception

[Kailani]

Hi, first of all I want to stress that I am safe and I hope u all are as well. OCD is very misunderstood within society and is often utilised as a 'quirky' character trait. If I had a penny for every time I have heard someone say "I am so OCD as I hate mess" or "you are so neat you must have OCD" I would be rich. What these people don't realise is that OCD is crippling. It invades into your life and makes simple day tasks exhausting. There are also so many different forms of OCD so characterising OCD as just being neat can be seriously damaging. I personally will not call someone out for using phrases like the ones I previously mentioned as I know that it is due to a lack of education on OCD. I guess I just wanted to know how you guys respond to phrases like these? Do you start a conversation with people? Or do you just ignore it? Finally I would like to finish this off by saying I hope u are all well and remember we are in this fight together!

[geoff]

Hello Kailani, and a pleasant welcome to the forums and know what you are talking about, as do other people suffering from this illness.

Having OCD is certainly crippling because it's with you 24/7 365 days of the year, it's compulsive and uncontrollable, with reoccurring thoughts (obsessions) and/or behaviours (compulsions) that makes us need the urge to repeat.

It's not something anybody does once so they can say they have OCD, and it causes distress if these continual compulsions/obsessions aren't carried out.

I'll return after a few comments are made.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[Kailani]

Hi Geoff thank you for your response! What you have said is very true. Fighting OCD is a constant battle. It feels like there are two parts of my brain which are in conflict. One side is logical while the other is illogical. Once again thank you for the response, I hope u are well!

[uncut_gems]

Hi Kailani,

Fellow OCD sufferer here. You make a great point about the way it has become a shorthand in everyday conversation for behaviors and personality quirks that really don't meet what we understand to be the standard for the debilitating illness that it is. That said, like you, I don't correct people because I frankly think it's a tiresome point and one that I find embarrassing to make, especially about a passing comment. Not saying that's the right thing to do, just that I don't bother because it's become part of ordinary language and I'm not offended by it enough to correct people.

I think there is totally a way to tactfully handle these comments and take the opportunity to educate people; it just realistically might not always be appropriate or even worth it in most scenarios. If it offends you and people you are close to and around all the time keep using the phrase, I think it's totally fine to say "hey, that bothers me, here's why, please don't say that."

I used to correct people and get offended. It's not that I'm less gung-ho about social justice now, but I am a bit more selective about my battles. Curious to hear what other people think.

On a related note, I have also noticed that some popular entertainment that inaccurately or even offensively portrays OCD can still be great. When I was younger I loved (and still love) the TV show Monk, about a brilliant detective with very, very severe OCD– almost cartoonishly exaggerated. I knew on some level that it was inaccurate, possibly even harmful, but that didn't stop me from loving the show and identifying with a character in whom I saw some part of myself and my own mental illness.

Gems

[Kailani]

Hi thank you so much for your response! I hope u are well at the moment and remember we fight this battle against OCD together. I totally get what you mean about not getting offended by comments anymore. I to have accepted them and I tend to just let them slide as you know people aren't being intentionally mean or malicious. As for media representation of OCD I relate to some characters on TV that are shown to have OCD. While these portrayals can sometimes be wildly inaccurate I at least find comfort in the fact that OCD is being represented in the media.

[Summer Rose]

Hi Kailani

To be honest, I find community misunderstanding and ignorance of OCD frustrating and annoying.

The notion that OCD is some kind of "quirky" condition is offensive to me. It diminishes the struggles, pain and achievements of people who experience OCD.

I often wish that bb would engage further in this space, despite knowing that bb can't do everything.

When I hear those types of comments you referred to, I usually express sympathy and kindness towards the person who claims to have this serious illness. Nine times out of 10 this provokes a very curious look and opens the door to a conversation.

My goal is always to try and educate and create awareness. I do this because my daughter has OCD and I would like to help create a kinder and more understanding world for her and others with the illness.

I could be wasting my time but I could also be talking to an employer, nurse, police officer or teacher, parent or grandparent who one day might need the information.

Kind thoughts to you

[Kailani]

Hi Summer Rose, I hope u and your daughter are doing well today. Can I just say first and foremost thank you for being an advocate and pioneering for your daughter! It is supportive parents like u that make all the difference! I completely understand why u find these comments offensive and u are completely correct that informing one person about OCD can initiate a chain of change. Fighting OCD is a long, tiring and frustrating battle.

[Summer Rose]

Doing well today, thanks. It certainly is a "long, tiring and frustrating battle". I'm sending you and all the other people with OCD nothing but kindness and understanding x

[geoff]

Hello Summer Rose and a wave to Kailani, I can completely understand Summer Rose of how degrading these comments are in regard to your daughter, because that's taking advantage of the situation she never wanted.

People go to the movies and watch films based on OCD such as 'As Good as it Gets', I took my family as well, but it's a film, not what someone we know is struggling with, it's a comedy, but in true life, it's much more intense, especially if you have it or living with someone who is trying to focus on their day to day care.

OCD is an awful illness and you may it, unfortunately, in different ways, which may overlap from one to another, depending on the situation you're in.

I've had it for 60 years, that's another story, but I hope and wish that my grandkids are free from all of this, it would devastate me but be there to support them in any way possible.

Take care. Geoff. x

[Summer Rose]

Hi Geoff

I also saw As Good as it Gets and another film called What About Bob? And that was the only "education" I had ever had about OCD before my daughter fell ill. How sad is that?

OCD simply does not have the public profile of other mental health illnesses, such as anxiety and depression, that it both needs and deserves. It is mystifying given the prevalence of the illness and it's severity.

Eating disorders were in the same boat once upon a time, but have recently come into their own (e.g. Butterfly Foundation). Hopefully the same will occur for OCD one day.

I admire all your posts on the forum and deeply respect your struggles and achievements. Thanks for all that you do.

Kind thoughts to you