Nuclear fear

[Doberman38]

Hey everyone.

I think I'm right in saying that the world is almost unanimously shocked and disturbed by the war in Ukraine. It's really sad to hear about the awful stuff going on. However, I fear it will escalate into something far, far worse. I'm terrified that if Putin decides to attack a NATO country it could trigger nuclear war. Conventional war would be bad enough, but NUCLEAR war? I used to think no one would dare but now I'm not so sure. I have all these scenarios playing in my head of how some sort of miscalculation could trigger a nuclear war. I feel like all the progress over human history and all the people and things I hold dear are about to be snuffed out by sheer hubris and stupidity.

I try very hard to calm myself down, but each time I keep thinking that there's no point doing anything positive because the world's about to end. I've only just been starting to glimpse my future and potential career paths, but these now seem like dust in the wind.

It's tough trying to talk about this to my family. My dad, who forcibly insists I not shut myself off from the news and isn't very good at emotional support, is not very helpful. As for my mum, she does give me reassurance and emotional support, but it's taking its toll on her and I don't want to add to the stress she is already dealing with. I just feel so lonely when it comes to this.

[Sophie_M]

Dear Bookgirl

Thank you for your honest sharing and support of the online community in this trying and difficult subject. 

It can be very hard, in the face of such dark news stories, to not let the anxiety voice dominate everything we think. It can colour every moment of our lives and all of our intentions. It can be crucial to find ways to anchor ourselves in the things we have in our control. Your time with your son is very important, and more so that you can actually connect and enjoy that time. the things fear steals from us is always truly vital.

Keep looking for the little things, the happy moments, and give yourself permission to take time away from media. It is always hard to challenge the Anxiety voices, and we know it must be exhausting for you often - please do not hesitate to reach out if we can be of any help at all. whether by phone - 1300 22 4636 or by our webchat link.  Have a look through one of our helpguides too! www.rb.gy/pga2y3

Please take care, and reach out if ever you need, anytime!

Regards,

Sophie M.

[yggdrasil]

Hi Bookgirl,

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and feelings about this. I agree, it is very distressing. Fear of nuclear-conflict affected me very badly in my teens and early twenties, and it took me a long time to get a handle on it.

I think the first thing is to disengage as much as you can from the daily news cycle. I really think it's best to avoid short, daily news shows and sensationalist articles when you're struggling emotionally. I actually think it's usually best to avoid the daily news cycle full-stop. There's rarely any serious analysis or discussion of the issues. Instead, you're just bombarded with sounds/images that maximise emotion, as this is what retains audiences. From your post, it sounds like you know this. When I was really depressed, I found I would obsess over the news, almost as a kind of addiction. It was very unhealthy, and I think we need to watch out for these patterns. It's natural and desirable to want to improve bad situations, but doing things that deteriorate our mental states won't help us or anyone else.

Avoiding the daily news cycle does not mean you have to ignore reality. Instead, my advice would be, first wait until you feel a little bit better, then find the driest, most detached academic books/talks you can, and study the issues that way instead. If you do this, you will gradually build up a wealth of knowledge, through which you can understand confronting issues. This doesn't make them less horrible, but it removes the fear/anxiety/despair generated when horrific events seem to occur for no reason: this is the picture of world I think the daily news cycle typically presents.

A good starting point might be the ABC radio program "Rear Vision", which I recomended to Doberman38. On this program, Kerry and Annabelle (the hosts) interview a range of historians and other experts about a single issue, over a full 30 minutes, to really go in depth into a current issue. There was a good Rear Vision episode on Russia/Ukraine just before the conflict broke out.

Anyway please be kind to yourself! You can get past this difficult period, and find ways to empower yourself.

[Bookgirl]

Honestly, i really try to do this and avoid the news. I am quite high functioning (even if it doesn't sound like it most of the time on here). I have managed to finalise a massive work assignment this week despite half the time not wanting to get out of bed. When I am at work people start talking about the news and i just have a wave of anxiety flow through me. I go in the toilets and breathe and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. My psych did an analysis of me that puts me at the worst end of pessimism (no surprises there I am sure). I am working on it but when i read about how serious all these politicians are saying this nuclear threat is, it just sends me spiralling. I was so surprised when i emailed my cousin in UK and he genuinely didn't seem that worried. I just can't get my head around it as he has a 14 year old and is only a little younger than me.
I know we can't just let Russia do what it is doing and kill innocent people including children simply for being in a country that Putin wants to annex. The futility of it makes me so angry, because if we go to war over this, it is just so STUPID. If we all die over this it is such a waste but war never did make sense in the first place.
I'll keep trying to avoid the news in the meantime. My pysch tells me rightly if something bad did really happen then i would know.

[yggdrasil]

That's awesome you're able to be so high functioning! 🙂

I also have found work environments quite difficult for this reason. People often want to talk about heavy things (I know I do) or vent, but when you're not in a place yourself to deal with it, it can be quite overwhelming.

Is it possible to create a bit more distance from your colleagues while you're feeling this way? I mean distance in a social, not professional sense. E.g. maybe eat lunch outside rather than in the tea-room? When I was working at home during COVID I realised that it wasn't my work itself that was contributing to my depression/anxiety, but the social aspects of work, particularly the tea-room chats.

I hope the coming week is a bit easier 🙂

[Bookgirl]

I am trying but still looking which is bad i know but seem to be ok so far this week until something triggers me i know. Managed to get through weekend and actually do things but felt anxious the whole time. I don't generally talk to people at lunch. I go for a walk. Its just the idle chit chat that gets me. One day at a time i guess.

[Bookgirl]

Had a panic attack this week. My psych thinks the pressure i am under at work where i am working on this huge project isn't helping. Feeling pretty crappy today. Sometimes i feel it's hard to wake up in the morning because of this anxiety i am going through. Just the world seems to bleak all the time.

[yggdrasil]

Hi Bookgirl,

That's fantastic you got through the weekend! Well done! I'm sorry to hear you had a panic attack during the week though.

If work is a factor, you might consider the pros and cons of disclosing your current situation to select people at work. In the support group I used to facilitate, the consensus was this can be a hit-or-miss strategy. Beyond Blue has content about this, and strategies, on their "Heads Up" site.

Some workplaces are incredibly supportive. If you trust a particular key superior or manager, you might consider disclosing to them how you're experiencing severe anxiety and panic attacks due to the complex world situation, and request some changes or flexibility in your working arrangments, or some different responsibilities. If there are some key things you suspect are exacerbating your anxiety at work, you could request a statement to this effect from your psychologist.

The world can definitely feel bleak. Undoubdtedly it is, in many ways. However, many psychologists also think the human brain is inherently biased towards bleakness, i.e. that we feel the negatives disproportionately to the positives, and not just when we're depressed or anxious. There are experiments that try to demonstrate this. I know it is true for me. This is I have fairly strict routines and practices to habitually counterbalance my bleakness bias. This is why I do the mental health "homework" sheets. I hated them at first: they seemed so stupid. But I came to realise the routines they build are valuable. There are homework sheets for all the different therapy models, ACT, CBT, Schema Therapy etc. There are many other approaches, from other traditions, too.

It can also help to take a large view. We see a lot of conflict on the news, but overall the world is unequivicolly less violent than it was even fifty years ago. The book "The Better Angels of our Nature" makes this case, with plenty of hard data. Loosely speaking, the further back you go, the greater a person's likelihood of dying directly at the hands of another. From memory, by this measure the 20th century was less violent than the 19th, even with the two World Wars and other atrocities. Most other key metrics, poverty, educational attainment, are steadily improving across the world. A large scale view doesn't change the tragedy of specific circumstances, but can prevent a sense of generalised despair.

I hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend, and good luck next week with work 🙂