Not Sure If I'm Just Being Paranoid... Need Help.

[DisplayName5742]

Hello,

Recently I moved out of emergency accommodation into a private rental with a co-worker. This co-worker was living with their area manager, which they say triggered their own depression. Living with the co-worker is no issue, however, life at work has become unbearable. This area manager, as we have since found out doesn't like being alone. I'm now being frequently pulled up at work for my actions, some things I know I haven't done. One meeting even involved my co-workers area manager. Management never had a problem with me until recently, now I feel like I'm walking on egg shells.

I can't go to the site manager, because they're friends with this area manager. The next step is to go to HR, however official procedure states all issues must first be brought to the site managers attention first to be resolved.

Not sure if I'm just imagining things, but I have also had other area managers ask questions of other staff members about me and my movements.

I don't know what to do. A part of me is also thinking I must just be paranoid and to stop thinking about it.

Someone please help!

[Nurse_Jenn]

Hi Displayname 5742,

Great to see you reaching out for some support. This sounds like a really tough situation especially while you are living with your area manager. I wonder if you have addressed them directly at all? If you are not comfortable to do this, I believe most companies have a Human Resources (HR) policies that allow you to escalate the situation to human resources or the next level up. You might ask this question indirectly to an HR team member and find out the process and use an example.

Whatever the case, it sounds like you need some extra support. A few strategies I would recommend include writing down times, dates and events that have raised concern for you. Another strategy might be to get in touch with your Employee Assistance Program for some support during this tough time.

Work place conflict happens often but there are often strategies to address things within the policies and procedures for safe work. If you want some guidance outside of this, try visiting FairWork at https://www.fairwork.gov.au

Wishing you the best possible outcome,

Nurse Jenn

[DisplayName5742]

Hello Nurse Jenn,

Thank you for the reply.

Sorry, the first message was very jumbled, I'll clarify some things here. The co-worker I am now living with previously lived with her area manager before moving in with me. The co-worker I've moved in with works in a different area in the same company. However, my now house mate upset her area manager by moving out with another co-worker. These emotions have been fixed on me, causing my co-workers area manager to resent me and due to this managers good relationship with the general manager and my own area manager... Well, it's not good news for me.

One thing that is stopping me from going direct to HR is hearing about another worker. She was encouraged to put a complaint straight through to HR, however management have spoken about firing this person for "violating policy" if she were to do so... Surely that can't be legal though.

Thanks for the suggestions. I have now written down all interactions which I feel I was being treated unfairly. Now have the Employee Assistance Program bookmarked in my computer. Also looking for another job, might be a good time to get into something I genuinely enjoy. Oh, and I've registered with FairWork.

Thanks again for the reply,

Regards,

DisplayName5742

[Here_I_am]

Hi DisplayName5742,

HR is a complex beast, but it is ultimately there to help and not do harm! 🙂

In short, if you can satisfy HR that you're legitimately approaching them as part of process, you're fine. You simply cannot get fired for speaking to HR - they would have to prove malicious intent such as making up a story to get someone else fired or in trouble.

It seems to me as though your situation would be easily explainable to HR. When they as (and they will ask because it is due process) what you have done to date to rectify the situation (i.e., they will ask "have you spoken to the person involved directly in an attempt to resolve the situation?" kind of questions), you could quite reasonably say in response "I do not feel safe approaching the other party as my issue is related to their professionalism at work. Their is a power imbalance; they are my supervisor."

This is a satisfactory response, and HR are legally obliged to step in.

It's not an 'all guns blazing' situation. They should step in quietly with an outcome focus. It may involve mediated sessions between yourself and the manager in question. This is where your list of examples will be really helpful - the last thing you want to be doing is sitting in a meeting with little more than vague feelings of discomfort to present as your evidence. Direct, specific examples such as "On 2 October 2019, you approached me and asked me what I was doing talking on the phone all day. You asked me in a tone that suggested my actions were not in line with my role. I clarified I had been talking with clients as per my normal duties. You rolled your eyes and walked away and wrote something in your notebook", and "on 25 September 2019, we were all enjoying Ash's farewell luncheon. About 20 minutes into the lunch, you made eye contact with me and asked me if I planned to get any work done this afternoon. I replied that I had every intention of returning to work after the lunch was finished. You looked at your watch and made a comment to the effect of 'some of us get more breaks than others I suppose', yet I had not taken any breaks I was not entitled to on this day or any other" go a long way to showing consistent behaviour in the negative against you.

It's confronting, it's not easy, and it can play terrible games with our mental well-being. It's fair to say though that doing nothing is also confronting, not easy, and certainly does play terrible games with our mental well-being.

[DisplayName5742]

Hello Here I am,

Thanks for the response.

My record of negative actions toward me is steadily growing. Something I learned recently is that a lot of people aren't happy there and it's because of management, including being mistreated by some of the managers. No one wants to say anything because they fear for their jobs. The one person who did put in a formal complaint is being closely watched by four of the five managers and a supervisor, waiting for anything to pull them up on. Doesn't help that most of management are either long-term friends, partners or even related.

Well and truly looking for a new job myself, but I'm going to make sure HR knows what's going on before I do leave. No one should have to deal with this. I just hate the thought of being pulled into a meeting with HR and the managers to discuss everything. Wouldn't feel comfortable there afterwards. I would feel better if multiple people went to HR, but they wont.

Regards,

DisplayName5742

[DisplayName5742]

Hey,

Been a long time. Thought I'd provide an update. Never know if someone may find it useful.

Some good news. I have a new job, and I'm treated much better there. I'm actually valued. It's amazing! They recognize I'm a hard worker and they respect that. There's no mind games either.

Back to the forum topic. Spoke to HR, waited over a week for a response which never came. Due to the lack of response, I went to Fair Work. Sadly due to lack of evidence I withdrew my Order to Stop Bullying before getting to the conference stage. Sure, I had everything written down, but that didn't constitute as solid evidence. It would have been my word against theirs. Things changed at work after that, lost a lot of hours and the managers were very careful around me.

For anyone looking to go through Fair Work, they are a mediator and will not "take sides." Instead they will attempt to work out what's really going on and repair the relationship between employee and employer. If they deem the relationship to be beyond repair, they will provide support to the wronged party, which can be either the employee or employer.

Solid evidence consists of anything written that makes one feel unsafe/unwanted/threatened/upset. Verbal can be accepted if it can be proven, but you have to be careful. Recording without consent is illegal. The best way to prove something was said is to get a witness to speak up. Sadly, this wasn't an option for me.

I hope this can be helpful to someone going through something similar.

Regards,
DisplayName5742