Not Happy Anymore

[GingerMegs]

Hi everyone I am drained and don't have much energy, I believe I am getting mental and emotionally abused and my partner is trying use my son against me, so she can keep me in the house I'm always doing everything in the house and making sure that the kids a clean dressed and ready to go to bed all that but it's still not good enough and my step daughter is a piece of work I tell her about her daughter how rude and disrespectful she is towards me then she just disregards it like it's nothing, I told her yesterday I wanted to leave because of her not treating me well then she brings up my past and says you're mother was a drug addict which she was, when I was 18 I never seen her ever again she uses everything against me even my little son saying I hurt him which I didn't 2 years ago I was holding him in my arm and she pulled him out of my hands and he was screaming and she wants to blame that on me, I'm lost and don't know what to do and I don't think anyone is going to believe me that I have been mentally abused a bloke as far as society is concerned that doesn't happen to males and women get abused.

[GingerMegs]

Yes I am planning to leave the home it's too much for me to deal with I will end up having a mental breakdown if all this stuff doesn't stop, I'm thinking about taking her to family court, but I'm afraid that if I do they won't believe me, I have had enough mentally and emotionally.

[vitality]

Like other comments I agree, please reach out using support details listed...

I find believing in yourself helps...

Also we have the fight, flight response....there is a 3rd f...find the solution...eg it could be sit outside in a quiet area in the sunshine & know "you're worth it"   Find 1 thing to be thankful for, the next day 2 things etc...this helped me.

On this site, we're all supportive of you & your circumstances...we hear you...take care.

[GingerMegs]

I have been sad and down for the past few days so I'm still mustering up the courage and bravery I can it's just very hard to put on a brave face to people and say it ok when it's not I hate lieing to people, and I will be taking this to family court I don't have much money because I don't earn much so it's going to be hard for me to find a lawyer. I just want my son's that's all not her not her daughter, just me and my boys that's it, I use to be a creative person but since I have been going through this crap it's killed any motivation for creating and creativity, I'm lost I'm lonely, I have family to talk to but it's not easy to explain to the issue, I never thought I would be in this position at all, it so crap, your right it's another day take day at a time nothing more nothing less, and will continue to clean the house even know it's fully under her name and she is the tenant,  know now all I am to her is just a conveneace, so I have already made up my mind on leaving, just trying to do it the right way so she can't make up lies about me and my mental health,  

[vitality]

I think you're very courageous GingerMeg & good to hear the things you're trying.. People can always say things about us..true or not...I like to imagine a perspex shield around me that nothing can penetrative or that I'm sitting behind a nice picket fence that no one can enter into (unless I invite a trusted love 1 in.)

If you can google eg computer or smartphone there's great info to be found also.

I've learnt to keep my focus on me... with others, I "take the best & leave the rest"..

Also practising self compassion is soothing & comforting eg mentally (or physically) give yourself a hug...re-parent the small inner child within us.  A day or moment at a time sounds good.  All the best..

[ecomama]

Hey GingerMegs, 

Great you've made the decision to leave this abusive relationship. 
You can call the MANY free Legal Helplines. 
You'll need to get around the Legalities of separating with children. 

Not sure what State you're in. 
In NSW as with most of Australia, you don't Lodge in Court, they won't allow you in most cases, UNTIL you have booked in and seen a Mediation Service such as "Relationships Australia" (RA)
Don't be fooled, this is NOT couples Counselling. 

STEP 1: Book in with RA as soon as possible. There are usually quite long waiting lists. My wait was about 4 months BEFORE Covid. Just depends on the demands in your area. 

Before, during and after you'll need Legal advice from Family Lawyers, even if you never get to Court, you'll need to know your rights. 

PLEASE don't panic about anything she'll say about you. 
Tbh I've been thru Federal Circuit Court myself and supported MANY others doing same. 
The Courts really don't care about anything IME. 
They ONLY care about splitting the kids' time 50 /50 or as close to that, AND
splitting the assets. 
You won't be getting any Care time with her daughter unless you ADOPTED her. You haven't so she is not in the mix at all. 

Worrying about the nitty gritty of he said / she said is 100% wasted worry time. 

People think our Courts are like the U.S. Court systems they are absolutely NOT. Not even close. 

Good luck! 
EM

[GingerMegs]

I have been talking audio recordings of my partners abusive behaviour and I'm going to get help for myself I will be moving out of this house and away from her abuse I'm not dealing with this crap anymore I'm a human not just some piece of trash I'm over it. What she is doing to me I wouldn't wish it on my worse enemy, these coming weeks I'm going to be moving I have already set my mind to it and no one's going to change my mind.

Her daughter is just as bad trying to intimdate me when her mum's not there staying I'm stupid and fat and mental going right up to my face and trying to be bigger then me, I tell her mum about it nothing gets done nothing I'm over it it's every single day the daughter says" I don't have to listen to you your not my father" and my response is "well go away and leave me alone then if you haven't got anything nice to say just go away" then she say" I don't have to listen to you your not my father your mental" when she does that she invades my personal space then that when I draw the line and I yell at her which I know I shouldn't have but my frustrations at that point are already high from her mother's abuse I feel like I'm getting mental abused by both of them.

I have a minor intellectual disability I'm on DSP and I have depression and anxiety disorders, I have had some times where I have cried myself to sleep and also where I have thought of ending it all but what is keeping me alive is my boys, I'm worn out mentally and physically, I don't know if my partner can get in trouble for mentally abusing someone with a disability like myself I'm not sure.

Would the courts stop me from seeing my son because I have a depression and anxiety disability?

Im going to the doctors again this Monday because it's been like this for 7 and has only gotten worse so I'm going to get tested for Complex-PTSD

I'm finding it hard to sleep and always in a alert state of mind have angry outburst because of the situation blame myself for everything

I feel hopeless, worthless , shame , very Low self esteem, socially awkward, 

My so called partner argued with me yesterday saying I was looking at a lady inappropriately which I was not because I was resting on the car seat with my mouth open eyes closed