New to this / anxiety/depression/bipolar...

[Italianstalion]

Hi,

First time posting here, this is a pretty big step in itself for me due to my stubborn proud nature.

I am 30 years of age a father to 3 beautiful kids with a very loving attentive wife, a great career with family all around me.

This brings me to wonder why I am having these feelings as I feel there is nothing to trigger these things that I am going through.. I am very stubborn and for years I have pushed aside the fact that the things I feel are obviously not normal, as I feel I'm the rock/the man of the house I felt the need to push aside these feelings.

Any here goes.. I feel sad one minute, the next happy, the next angry. My emotions seem to be all over the place to the point I can't control how I feel any more even when doing the things I otherwise used to enjoy such as fishing ect. I get anxious over small minute things such as dealing with people from day to day ie. Customers at work.

I can't stand crowds, I can't think straight most times, I can never concentrate on anything for long, my thought patterns are all over the place my mind races, I find it hard to switch off at any given moment. For example just yesterday my wife gave me the day off I got rained out at work and I just sat on my bum all day doing nothing yet in my mind I couldn't relax I couldn't switch off, thinking about work, the kids, things I should be doing.. You can even say quite overthinking all these things. Some days I find myself some days so mentally and physically exhausted despite really not having a full on day at work.

I really appreciate anyone taking the time to tell me 1. I'm not alone and 2. Can I get better?

Im just really mentally exhausted from pushing it all aside and pretending I'm OK.

I already feel better getting all of this off my chest, I appreciate anyone's feed back.

[quirkywords]

Italian station

Welcome to the forum and thanks for your honest post.

Many people reading your words including me will relate to you, as you are definitely not alone.

I am wondering how long you have experienced what you described in your post.? Few weeks or months or???

Have you a GP you can talk freely to.?

I know I found the range of feelings and their intensity to be overwhelming and confusing.

Thanks again for taking the first step.in reaching out.

We are listening.

[Guest9337]

G'day Italianstalion,

1. You are connected with people, here and at home. Sweet mate.

2. I'm with you on this one; what does "better" even look like for us?

You're original post speaks to me widely, I've pretty much experienced similar topsy turvy intense emotions recently since 10/June. I was crying hard one night and actually laughed at the same time. effing weird. I'mve had periods of being emotionally flat, so I am these days just rolling with the punches and accepting what's happening. Like enjoying a rollercoaster ride. smirk.

As the rock of a family I have found some benefit from Canadian Professor Jordan Peterson's youtube's about various topics. Examples about moving forward and still doing the necessary and right actions, regardless of how we feel.

Peterson acknowledges that life is suffering, and implies a high quality life has some deep suffering along the way. Buddhism is one place Peterson cites material from, Jung and Christianity some other sources he uses.

Stubborn is about not changing ones position or attitude about something. Do you think/feel that being stubborn is at odds with your shifting emotions, as if your body is fighting your mind?

[Italianstalion]

Hi David,

Thanks for the reply I really appreciate it, knowing there's another bloke feeling the same way.

I will definitely look up some of prof. Jordan's stuff on YouTube and hopefully take something useful from it.

My moods have always been a little up and down since I had my first child when I was 19.. It was a big change jumping from a teenager to being a father, anyhow I couldn't see my life any different now without them.. All I know is it's starting to affect them cause dad is all over the place with moods and emotions and sometimes I get looks and responses from them as if to say "why are you getting angry at me for right now" or " you were happy a minute ago what happend".

Then after all is said and done at the end of the night I replay everything from the day.. Start over thinking on it and saying I should have done this, or I shouldn't have done that and it ends up making my anxiety worse and then my mind races. God I wish there was just an off switch yuno.

But I tell ya, it does feel good to be able to talk about it.

I really appreciate the time you and "quirky words" have taken to listen.

[Italianstalion]

I appreciate the time you've taken to listen,

I've been in bipolar moods for the last 10 years atleast even though I've never have the hide to go talk to a doctor and get right yuno.

Its been getting worse over the last year I'd say to the point this is an everyday thing now this anxiety hanging over my head, I find it really hard to get going in the mornings I wake up and just want to stay in bed, it's terrible I don't know why it's at its worst in the mornings.

Thanks again for listening.

[Fliptheswitch]

G’day Italianstalion,

like the others have said congrats on taking the first step and acknowledging and reaching out. That takes courage. You’re right when you say it feels good to talk about it.

I can totally relate to the way you are feeling, and like most guys have tried hard for years to ignore and hide feelings and emotions and to not seek help. Recently this all caught up to me. Luckily for me my partner finally convinced me to seek help (I had ignored her advice to do this for years) somehow I knew I had too this time.

To answer your question “can you get better?”
The answer is yes you can! As I’m discovering there are plenty of options.
As quirkywords asked do you have a gp to talk to? If you do then this is a great first step. If you feel comfortable talking to them (I wrote notes as I was very anxious/nervous) tell them what you are experiencing and how you are feeling and they will take it from there.

I hope this helps and I wish you the best moving forward.

[Guest_1643]

hi there,

anxiety is so tiring, i so relate to having not done much, and feeling exhausted, and then not feeling entitled to relax because u havent done enough

when i read ur post the idea of self-care comes to mind - to take a break, to relax, to enjoy, its a practise, nd really hard for some ppl. we feel like the harder we are on ourselves, the more we'll achieve, but being hard on ourselves is tiring, and takes a great emotional toll.

Its okay to need a break. it's okay to need to stop. life itself can be really tiring.