New Member-Wanting to share,help and receive help

FozBear · ‎02-12-2014

Hi everyone.This is my first post. For those interested in giving me guidance, here is some background on my anxiety journey. Until Dec 2012 I enjoyed great health and physical fitness. Then the lower back pain started for no identifiable reason based on scans etc.Tried every type of professional help including rehab trainer,osteo ,physio etc etc all promising to fix it but no one could.18 months later in June this year I woke at 4 am one morning with pain throughout my whole back and I went into a panic that despite everything I had done I thought I was never going to be the same. I had 3 sleepless nights due to anxiety and panic and just paced the house for hours.GP gave me something for anxiety and put me on antidepressants and referred me to psychiatrist who I see weekly. Now on fourth lot of antidepressants as they all seemed to make me feel worse.Also had to constantly take anti anxiety meds throughout day. I have my own business and kept up a brave front for a few months but eventually I just got to a point where the psychiatrist said I should not be at work. Luckily I have a great business partner and great staff to carry on. I have now been away from work for months and I feel I have lost my identity.I love my team and my clients and I miss them terribly. Now I feel I have no purpose as I really enjoy my work and really get a great deal from helping my clients.I love the social interaction. I have now gone from being a respected professional with an award winning business to someone who often struggles going to the supermarket due to anxiety. I just cant believe that 6 months ago everyone knew me as a super friendly,chatty guy who always seemed happy to the depressed and anxious ridden person I am today. I find everyday a real struggle as there is just no purpose like I had before .I have no interest in anything. I started my new meds 12 days ago and since then I have cried a lot more, felt very low and the anxiety is more constant and stronger. Can anyone tell me if this is normal in the start up phase of an antidepressant.(This is an SSRI not SSNI like I was on before) After 6 months I just thought I would be so much better but I feel nearly as bad as at the start despite meds, weekly therapy etc.I would be most grateful if anyone can share their thoughts on the recent surge of my symptoms based on what I have shared and any words of encouragement would bee deeply appreciated. Thanks for taking the time to read this

CrashCoyote · ‎03-12-2014

Hello FozBear,

Thank you for your post and what a set of circumstances to be in. I do not suffer anxiety but many on this site do and I have no doubt you will get some feedback from at least one of them so that you have someone to compare notes with.

I think the loss of your much loved routine and customers must make it much more difficult to deal with both the chronic pain and the anxiety. I have lower back pain from a few car accidents etc in my career as a policeman. People that do not know back pain cannot understand that feeling. How it seems like every part of your body is connected to a nerve in your lower back! When even pouring yourself a coffee can end in sharp pain!

I assume your health professionals have told you to try lower back muscle and core muscle exercises and that has not helped? Has anyone been able to indicate the cause yet? Of course there could be many causes but clearly they are related to nerve pain so something is swelling or pinching or something. No one treating you has been able to help. That in itself is worrying.

Keep an eye on the post, please, as someone with anxiety is bound to write in.

Kind regards, John.

Skaters · ‎03-12-2014

Hey 🙂

So i have been diagnosed with Anxiety, PTSD and OCPD so I hope I can help. Well up until a few years ago I too was a healthy happy oblivious person, after i was the victim of DV I guess it kinda felt like a big grenade went of in my brain. So I guess what I want to say is, when i think of my mental illness i always felt awful and sad I felt weak and like another victim of society, It wasn't until a therapist said to me that i need to recognise that my illness is just like a physical illness... just like a huge clot causes massive brain damage, stroke, disability and so on, so does the grenade of mental illness it explodes and causes so much damage..

When starting or stoping a new medication I have always felt very anxious, agitated and hopeless and usually this is when I also often feel very suicidal, during this time i always make sure I have lots of interventions in place as in friends, family and support people in place to ring or visit, Excercise (even 30 mins of walking in the sunshine) daily, a good diet with lots of fresh food and lots of water, trying to get a bit of sleep and doing things that i love just to make it a bit more easier. It is normally the first 14 days that are the hardest to go through.

I guess also having goals in place always helps me too when i'm really low.. so even having a date with friends in a few days time helps me hold on, making a hairdresser appointment another thing to look forward to.. Its just about taking it day by day i suppose...

Best, best wishes to you.. I am day 7 of a medication change and I'm feeling ok..

FozBear · ‎03-12-2014

Thanks for your kind reply John. I am glad you don't suffer with anxiety as it is an indescribable feeling to be so full of fear for no rational reason.Although you don't suffer with that affliction it sounds like your back troubles are much much worse than mine and you have my sympathy as it can really restrict your lifestyle.John I have had multiple scans, X-rays etc and there is nothing mechanically wrong as far as they can see.I have seen so many specialists and did Pilates twice weekly for 8 months plus worked with a rehab trainer and yet it persists.I think it is now really clear that it relates to my mental health which in someways is good because if I can fix that perhaps the pain will go.

Thanks again for your reply John and I wish you the very best and hope you get some relief from your ongoing suffering

Cheers from Rick

CrashCoyote · ‎03-12-2014

Hi Rick,

Thank you for your support but I am okay. I know why my back hurts at times and still find it frustrating. I just hope someone can get to the bottom of what it is causing your problems.

I'll keep an eye out for your posts.

Kind regards, John.

FozBear · ‎05-12-2014

Hi Skaters, it sounds like you have got some great strategies in place to help you.Thanks for your feedback about the first 14 days and I am glad you are doing well as at day 7.Thanks again and Cheers from Rick