Anxious and frightened

Sierra · ‎02-12-2014

Hi everyone, this is my first post. Like many of you I have anxiety which is interfering with my day to day life. I didn't even realise what was wrong. I have always been quite anxious and worry a lot. 3 months ago I got sick, constant nausea, head tension/pressure and insomnia and lost a lot of weight because I couldn't eat much. I have had many tests and the doctor could not work out what was wrong. He put me medications for chronic gastritis. I developed a bad reaction to the medication and antibiotics. The medication only gave me 4 hours sleep a night and he kept prescribing stronger ones. I could not cope with my full time job so I have taken some annual leave (I've run out of sick leave). I have stopped the medication as I am scared of getting addicted to them.

The Doc has put me on anti-depressants a week ago and my sleep seemed to return to almost normal. But last night I could not sleep at all and the head tension/pressure has gotten worse again and the anxiety is eating me up. I have to return to work on Thursday and I need to function.

I am scared of losing my job and then my home. I have a mortgage and I am divorced and financially not in a good position. My daughter (grown up) still lives at home and she is very supportive, but I think I am stressing her out with my constant anxiety, tears and freaking out.

My boss at work is not very nice and has treated me badly and that adds to
my stress and anxiety. I am not in any state to look for another job, so I feel stuck.

I have tried breathing techniques, mindfulness meditation etc... and they help a little, but not at all when the anxiety grabs a hold of me, like now.

It feels like my whole life has disappeared. I used to be healthy and fit and now I am too weak to exercise like I used to and I do not feel like I am myself any more, I
don' t know where I've gone or how to get back to being normal.

Thank you for reading my post and any advice is welcome 🙂

CrashCoyote · ‎02-12-2014

Hi Sierra,

Can I ask what made you feel you'd get addicted to your meds? Have you had a thorough check up yet or some strong investigation to rule out physical illnesses that have headache symptoms?

Have you had a referral to a psychologist? It may not even be the anxiety?

For what it is worth, some of my kids are also grown up and I can't exercise like I used to, either. Might be more about getting older?

Kind regards, John.

geoff · ‎03-12-2014

dear Sierra, welcome to the site and thanks for posting this rather desperate letter, that you are encountering.

It's never pleasant nor particularly nice to have to suffer from anxiety to the extent that you are trying to cope with.

First things first are that your boss has clicked onto your anxiety and the way that you feel, so can I suggest that you start to document everything that happens at work, discussions, jobs, what they say to you, not only from your boss but also your workmates, and this requires times, days, and if they refuse time off etc. because you may need all of this down the track as time passes.

To follow on from what John has said and he's exactly correct, that it's pretty well impossible to be addicted to antidepressants, simply because when we take them there is no buzz or euphoria, because we don't even feel the effect from them, sure our brain does, but not with us.

OK you will need to see your GP who will organise a medicare plan which entitles you to 10 free visits to see a psychologist, and I suggest that you do now before the end of the year, because next year you will again have another 10 free visits, so I urge you to plese do this a.s.a.p.

Please can you get back to us. L Geoff. x

Sierra · ‎05-12-2014

Thank you both for your thoughtful replies, they are very much appreciated.

I was prescribed sleeping pills as well as the anti-depressants. The doctor told me that the sleeping pills are highly addictive, hence my desire not to have to rely on them. (my post was edited so reference to that medication was removed, so I'm not sure it will get through in this post)

I now have a referral to a Clinical Psychologist and thank you for the suggestion (also the medicare plan - thanks Geoff).

It has been a mixture of physical and mental health issues and it's hard to identify where they intersect.

John - you made me smile re the exercise. Certainly I am getting older (56), but that's not what's affecting my exercise. Up until two months ago I was exercising daily and eating really healthily, but since becoming ill, nausea, constant headaches and losing weight, the most I can manage is a gentle walk. I hope once all the physical, mental health and emotional matters start to resolve that I can return to my exercise regimen as I found it did help with stress.

Again, thank you both for replying to my post 🙂 p.s. Geoff, I like your dog - I have a spoodle.

Beltane · ‎05-12-2014

Hi! I felt I must reply as I can identify very closely to your experience, particularly with the physical symptoms.

i too have quite severe anxiety (and panic attacks, and bipolar 2). I had nasty constant severe nausea for years on end, lots of insomnia, stress headaches, bowel problems. i couldnt hold down more than a part time job for years cos of it.

So yes i can really identify with where you're at. But I think I can also give you hope!

As you may know, gastritis is inflammation of the stomach lining. is often causes pain, nausea, and loss of appetite. normal treatments are to reduce the acid in your stomach with medications to allow it to heal, but i personally think if stress is causing it (or anxiety is causing it) then treating that too may also be of great help (it was for me)

I can see you have had a nasty reaction to medications- were they acid-reducing medications and antibiotics to treat your stomach? i also found acid-reducing medications made me feel quite sick.

ask if they have checked your thyroid and liver function, and your hormones. i see you are a woman in your 50's- could menopause be causing it?

therapy helped me get my head thinking right, but when i found the right medication it completely ended all my physical symptoms. anxiety, nausea, insomnia, tummy problems, all gone gone gone. many people with anxiety have digestive issues cos anxiety causes inflammation. also the chemicals responsible for mood and anxiety (serotonin, dopamine) are not only in your brain but in your digestive system too- this is why some antidepressants make people a bit sick when they start them. usually that goes away once the drug starts working in 6-8 weeks. if not, you may need a different medication

antidepressants arent addictive. what they do is fix chemical imbalances in your head. so think of it this way- a diabetic isnt addicted to their insulin, but if you took their insulin away their diabetes would cause problems and they would get sick right? thats the way i see antidepressants- some people come off them just fine, but other people if they come off them their original illness- the depression/ anxiety- returns so they get symptoms again.

I went through 6 different antidepressants and was about to give up cos they all made me feel worse, when i got onto my current drug (which is actually an anti psychotic) and i feel the best ive ever been- no nausea, no insomnia, appetite is normal, anxiety and mood swings have massively decreased.

hope that helps!

Sierra · ‎07-12-2014

Thanks Beltane, it's nice knowing there are people here who understand what I am going through.

I have had my hormones, thyroid and liver function checked. Everything was within the normal range. I don't think this is menopause as that started a few years back. Although, there may be a connection.

Thank you for the information re the chemicals in the brain and the gut being connected, that is good to know.

I will stick with the anti-depressants and see how they go, it's only been a little under two weeks since I started them, so if they take 6-8 weeks to work properly, then I need to be patient.

I'm not worried about the anti-depressants being addictive as my GP assures me they are not. But it's good to know that they may not permanently resolve my anxiety. I will be seeing a Clinical Psychologist soon and hopefully that will help me identify and deal with the underlying causes of my anxiety.

Thank you 🙂