New and looking for advice...

[fourtimes]

Hi, I am new to this forum.

Anxiety definitely runs in my family and im finding out more over the years how much I struggle with it. I am still learning about it and myself.

My biggest problem is how to deal with it, I know what my main triggers are but I cant manage to escape it or think differently.

I know that my partner and family are my main things that cause my anxiety but also I have issues with things having to be in routine.

I'm wondering how others retrain their minds to be positive or think differently? or is that impossible when you feel this way?

I only have just opened up to my family and partner about how I feel, I guess I am very closed off with talking about it.

The feeling of all this weight on you, the constant lump in your throat or not being able to focus is overwhelming.

Some days waking up its already there and as the day goes on it just becomes stronger.

I have been to see a doctor and was recommended to see a counsellor but I am quiet hesitant, I am not overly keen for medication either.

But I also just want it to go away.

I don't know exactly the point of me posting anything on here, maybe to hear an outside opinion or thoughts or even how you deal with it.

[Croix]

Dear Fourtimes~

First off I'd like to welcome you here - you have had to wait a while for a response, I'm sorry about that, it is a downside of this system, and no reflection on you.

I've had anxiety conditions for a long time and have it mostly under control. This has partly been due to experience, partly medical help and partly lifestyle. I've been lucky in having partners who have been caring and understanding and who I've been able to lean on when I need to. Just having someone else's perspective is a tremendous help.

My treatments have included both medications and therapy. And meds is something I'd imagine I'll always have to take, however in my case it is just about all up-side, even though it took a very long time to find the right regime.

I've found as my overall 'background' stress had reduced my anxiety attacks and thoughts spinning around have reduced. Also having techniques to hand to deal with them as they happen is at least partially effective. Such things as using the free smartphone app 'Smiling Mind' (which takes practice to get good at), doing something straight away that involves physical moment or exercise, lots of things. Have a look at:

Forums / Anxiety / SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING ANXIETY

Which is long, however I've found it very useful.

I've probably said as much as one should for a first post, would you like to come back and talk more?

Croix

[fourtimes]

Hi Croix,

Thanks for taking the time to reply to me. I didn’t expect a response straight away after looking through others posts but appreciate it.

I would say I lack experience on how to deal with anxiety, I am still learning. Especially ways to deal with it and lessen the background stress as you have said. That I seem to have nearly all the time.

My partner tries hard to understand and help but I find they don’t fully understand something they havnt experienced and I can’t always find the best words to explain it.

I will take your advice and have a read through those tips you’ve suggested.

I have good and bad days like I’m sure everyone does.

After being one way for so long or thinking one way, how to do you begin to rethink everything or to think positive when you become anxious and all you can think is negative thoughts?

Thanks

[Hang10]

Hi fourtimes,

Welcome to B.B. as well, great words from Croix.

Form my side i also have anxiety. I had concelling as well and it helped me. I try medication but was able to work and live to my best abilities without it. I know that if need it I can in the future.

I know what you mean when you say that some days the anxiety all ready there as you wake up. I hate it but I stubborn about it. I try not to let it win it may storm for a couple of hours but I back to my normal self in time.

As time went on I found ways to not control me as much, as times goes on I think you find techniques and comforts to use when need to that works for you.

I think anxiety is hard to talk to to many people. This forum you find wonderful people with great insight and care and advice that help you. We all understand and look out for everyone.

Take care. Be yourself always

Hang10.

[Croix]

Dear Fourtimes~

Thanks for coming back and saying more.

K, a couple of comments. The first is that if someone has not experienced anxiety or depression they most probably are not going to understand what is going though your head. The nice thing is they do not have to. My partners cared and tried to help and learned what worked best mainly though trial and error.

A hard road for them as I was not consistent and would respond OK one day, and with resentment the next. Even so they learned and were tremendous.

You asked how you begin to re-think. I've found anxiety has filled my head wiht the worst possibilities, which at the time seemed to me to be very probable and quite reasonable. It has taken the perspective of a partner or another person whose views I value to remind me I'm catastrophizing and not thinking clearly. So talk it over.

Yes of course there are ups and down, but as you live with a problem longer your lean a bigger number of coping mechanisms. Hard to start with, gets a bit easier.

Croix