neighbour anxiety

[Mel72]

Hi I thought it would be a good idea to chat this out. I know i have anxiety not been to gp just try to deal with it as it happens but my anxiety has flared up bigtime due to having to finally get council help about my neighbours dog, I hate confrontation so tried to avoid this but yeah finally had enough (2 years) apologies trying to not talk about that too much, the big issue is now I am too scared to move around in my house, go outside, I know i have done nothing wrong but I feel like I have, I feel so much self doubt about anything i do it got to the point that i felt that i have now put my family in a war zone and the only way to stop bad stuff happening to them would be me leaving them. I suppose I am wondering if there is something bad coming off me that is going to make bad stuff happen to all of us??

[therising]

Hi Mel72

First, I have to congratulate you on doing something most of your neighbours probably wish they had the courage to do. Give me repetatively barking dogs, dripping taps and ticking clocks and it's enough to take me to the brink of insanity. Some months back I actually snapped a little over the dog next door barking. I lost my mind, you know the mind that says 'Don't upset anyone', and I'm glad I did lose it. I went next door (something I thought I would never do in a million years) and calmly said 'I can't take this anymore. Your dog's barking is taking me to the brink of insanity'. The barking has stopped. After 15 years of living in this house, I have never had such a break from the all the dog barking that has come to exist from next door through a few neighbour changeovers. Every neighbour had incessantly barking dogs. It was beginning to feel like a curse 🙂

Barking dogs can equal insensitive owners who aren't sensitive enough to feel the agitation their neigbours can be feeling. By the way, when I addressed the dog barking issue with the lady next door, her husband came over later that day to apologise for the barking. He said he didn't think it was that bad. The fact I know the dog's name because he'd often scream at it 'BARNEY, SHUT UP!' tells me how much it was agitating him. He's sensitive to his own feelings but not the neighbours' feelings. Not enough to do something about it anyway, before my vent. You go for it Mel, address the annoyance and don't doubt yourself for a second. Sometimes when anxiety can no longer be tolerated, it transforms into anger (intolerance) then courage. We can go from wrestling with our self to meet a challenge to actually meeting it. When we can no longer tolerate our internal battle (being in 2 minds), BAMM, we can go into 'I've had enough of this s***!' mode.

The bodily sensations we experience with fight or flight (courage or fear) can be identical sensations, it's the mindset that goes with them that makes the difference.

If all the neighbours decided to throw you a 'We love you Mel for shutting the dog up' party, you'd probably be feeling pretty pumped and proud of yourself. Throw yourself a party Mel. You deserve it!

🙂

[Mel72]

Thank you and yes it does feel like a curse, I generally try to be positive about things and people and approach how i would want to be approached. I just really wish i could deal with confrontation but i crumble at any sign of it, give in whatever it takes for it to go away and then I am frustrated because i cannot even physically deal with it so I have no way of expressing my feelings without looking like an idiot.

My brother said i have terrible luck with neighbours and I do, mine didnt apologise or shut the dog up they nailed my backfence shut (property backs onto a park).

Your reply and your similiar (but better ending) story has made my day a little brighter so thank you