Needing time out: Feeling overwhelmed by work and having anxiety attacks

[sam_]

I suffered from major burnout in 2021 after the passing away of my mother and suffered from overwork (60+ hours a week) and a very toxic management structure (I work in tech).  In 2022 I took about 6 months off to reset and went back into the workforce on a short contract to get my confidence back.

Late last year I spent much time looking for the right permanents role and was excited to start at a new organisation.  I explained my burnout openly and what I was looking for an organization and the interview process was really positive and a match in values and culture.    After I started they needed someone to help out on another tech project with the promise of hiring people to support me and then I would eventually go back to my regular job (the one I was hired to do).  However, none of this has eventuated and I have been working in 3 roles with little support from my manager.  

I thought I was doing ok from a point of view of managing my stress levels, but as we get closer and closer to launch the work is piling on and I have all levels of the organization literally hounding me.  My peers have all come to me asking me how I can be doing all of this by myself.  I keep raising these issues with my manager and it was acknowledged each time "you have a lot to do" and "Tell me how I can support". - support hasn't come.

Last week I started having anxiety attacks, something I hadn't experienced since my first burnout and when my mother passed away.   Along with that, not sleeping and a constant headache.  The thought of work tomorrow has me in fear and dread, I've already cried a few times and had an anxiety attack.  I was supposed to catch up on work today and I couldn't even face it.

I want to take some time off, but I am literally a single point of failure and me not being there is a major blow, I am feeling guilt but also knowing my mental health is a real issue.    My partner has suggested I just go to work and do the bare minimum,  the issue is I have no control over these anxiety attacks and when they come.  I have presentations across every team in the organisation, plus working with the delivery team to launch....I am so scared I'll literally collapse in front of them.  

I am not even sure what I am asking here.  I just feel so trapped.   I also know taking time off won't solve the issue.  I can take a week but when I come back it's the same workload.  I need them to change something...  Help!?

[blues23]

Quit or go to worksafe they are not providing a safe work place go to fair work as well complain to HR if your manager is not helping you . I’ve found companies  including HR look after companies not the individual. Fight for what you need for your own health it’s not worth it they may be better less stressful jobs