Need some advise? Will I be like this forever?

[Backpacker1991xo]

Hi All,

I'm new to this forum, and looking for some advise as I'm a backpacker who's a million miles away from my friends and family and really struggling to deal with what I believe to be my first experience of anxiety?

Unfortunately whilst out with my boyfriend some weeks ago, I was spiked with something that I originally thought had stayed in my system for a full week, however after various visits to the hospital they couldn't find anything wrong with me so I did some research and it seems the ordeal I went through has triggered anxiety?

The first week I felt completely disconnected, the only way I can describe it is that I felt like I was stuck in some sort of trip you would get on a drug? Everything looked right to me, but didn't feel right? It's so hard to explain? I also had no appetite the first week, and whatever I did eat I through back up. I could however stomach fluids and drank lots of water. I had tingles in my head and hands? I also experienced sleep paralysis for the first time.

Week two things started to look up and I started to feel a bit more normal after I had done some research and found that a lot of my symptoms related to Anxiety however things seem to be going in a downwards spiral again? I'm starting to feel disconnected again, my eyesight seems strange, blury and flashy? I can't sleep and when I do fall to sleep I have horrendous dreams and struggle to stay asleep?

 Does anyone have similar symptoms? Any advise would be so appretiated!

 Thanks 🙂 x

[Doolhof]

Hi Backpacker and welcome to Beyond Blue.

It must be difficult for you to be feeling this way while you are so far away from family and friends.

If you don't mind me asking, are you still with your boyfriend? Is he able to help and assist you when you are feeling anxious?

Are you in a situation where you can see a Dr at a medical clinic and relate your story to him/her there and ask what tests/questions can be asked to see if you do still have something in your system still or if you are suffering from anxiety.

Instead of just looking up the symptoms of anxiety, look up ways of getting better. Try and find strategies that will work to help you overcome these feelings.

Look up Anxiety here on the Beyond Blue site and see if you can fins some helpful information.

Anxiety and stress can be made worse by us thinking about it instead of accepting that you feel anxious and stressed and then trying to work your way out of that feeling.

So my suggestion would be to try and see a Dr in a medical clinic/practise and also look for ways to overcome anxiety.

If your symptoms become too bad and you can't get to see a Dr then head back to a hospital and ask for help there. Listen to what these people all have to say to you and try to work on your recovery.

Wishing you well with this. From Mrs. Dools

[Backpacker1991xo]

Hi Mrs Dools,

Thank you so much for replying to my post.

I went to the hospital twice in the first week, and they carried out various tests. The first time I went it was two days after I had been spiked and they told me that I would just need to ''ride out whatever is in my system'', then the second time they did all the same tests again and said that they still can't find anything wrong with me and suggest that I continue to drink lots of water and eat chocolate as a pick me up. After a couple of days I went to the doctors to see if they could help, and they sent me for a CAT scan. The results came back all clear so that's when I started doing my own research my symtoms match anxiety, although I haven't actually had any anxiety attacks since, it's just like a constant feeling.

I feel like the anxiety is turning into depression, I've started to become quite snappy, angry quite quickly, emotional and I'm really struggling to sleep. Last night I was awake from 3.30am and couldn't get back to sleep. I can't seem to turn my brain off.

I have tried to keep myself busy, I go running every night and have downloaded a meditation app on my phone to see if that helps. But I just feel like this is never ending. I go to thailand in three weeks and am so worried about being in a none english speaking country feeling like this. My boyfriend doesn't really understand what I'm going through and is quite difficult to speak to. I speak to my mum on the phone daily, she is my biggest support but I feel so lonely.

Any advise would be so appretiated - Thank you 🙂 x

[Doolhof]

Hi Backpacker,

Do you have the opportunity to visit a Dr again to discuss how you are now feeling? Have you looked up anxiety and depression on the internet, not so much to read how it can manifest itself with in you, but on how to treat it and over come it.

Sounds like you are trying to help yourself with the running and the meditation App. It is hard for your boyfriend to understand how you are feeling as he is not in the same situation, so don't be too hard on him. Just explain to him that you are not your usual self at the moment and you don't really understand what is going on.

The more we think about a problem, the bigger it sometimes becomes. If you are thinking you are anxious and depressed, you may feed that thought further into your mind and then it is difficult to think of anything else.

Maybe you could try to use the webchat that is listed above to see if the counsellor there can offer you some advice, or use the phone help lines.

My husband and I have been to Thailand and we found most people speak English, so you don't need to worry about that side of things.

Maybe the distraction of the trip to Thailand will be just what you need to get your mind thinking of something else.

I hope some of this is useful to you. Try the Dr and the phone help lines and see what you come up with.

Wishing you all the best, cheers for now from Mrs. Dools

[StillDavid]

Hi Backpacker,

It sounds like the bad experience with the drink together with being far from home has got you unsettled and starting your mind playing a few games.  Not many people have the control to prevent their brain from running off down all sorts of avenues and lying awake at night plagued by all kinds of thoughts is something most can relate to.

I think meditation may help you if you stick with it a little.  Don't have to spend hours on it - perhaps 10 mins a couple of times a day to start.  There are many simple guides on the net.  You'll quickly realise just how much your mind runs off on its own and how many times you find yourself having to bring it back.  Don't think you're failing when this happens..noticing how the mind works is what its all about.  You can also learn that these are only thoughts that your mind throws out and they are not 'you' and you don't have to believe them all.  So even if your mind keeps throwing up some kind of annoying worry over and over if you just notice it as a thought 'there it goes again' without getting too involved in it then it'll gradually run out of steam as you stop feeding it.

Trying to continually distract yourself may work but you might also have the feeling there's some nasty thought that your trying to suppress or run away from and that can be not such a relaxing way to go about life.

Anyway wishing you all the best.  I know you're going to be fine....just going through a few bumps.

Thailand's a great place by the way, Wish I was going there in three weeks...but that's another story.

Bye