My story

[user10234]

Hi all,

For context I lost my dad when I was a child, which was ten tears ago. It was really hard but I pushed through and then two years ago at the prime of my life I needed life saving surgery. I thought I was coping well but I found out about two other health problems that will need some kind of surgical intervention, still I never worried. Then about a month ago I had a panic attack when I was trying to sleep, it was so strong I threw up and had body shakes. Since this episode I have had many more panic attacks and most days I am worried, worried about the future and just life itself. I want to know is panic after trauma normal? Is it treatable? I am so scared I am forever broken? 

[indigo22]

Hello,

Welcome and thank you for reaching out to us.

I am so sorry for your loss, children can be resilient but losing a parent is one of the hardest things to come to terms with. Did you at any point have any help with your loss through therapy? My guess is either no or not sufficient to work through the loss.

We don't know how to process loss as a child so the emotions can become lodged (or stuck) in the body and cause physical problems. I think what is happening to you is that the emotions that are stuck are rising to the surface to be healed in the form of panic attacks.

To answer your question, this is something normal for many who have any form of PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) from a past traumatic experience. This is not to say that you are suffering from PTSD (although that may be the case), more that you are suffering the effects of a trauma that has not been fully dealt with.

The answer to your other question is - yes, it is treatable although it can take time to work through. The younger you are when you begin the work, the better your chances of recovering because the trauma has not been trapped for as long. I hope that makes sense for you.

There is no need to feel afraid, you are not forever broken, you are not actually broken at all (although I do understand that is what it feels like). The truth is, you went through a very difficult experience at a very young age that you were not equipped to deal with and there are some pieces of you missing that you need to find again in order to feel whole again.

My suggestion to you is to talk with your GP about what you have been experiencing and ask for help in finding a therapist to help you work through the trauma. If possible, find a therapist who also does somatic work as they can help you release the trapped emotions.

I hope this helps and I will be here if you would like to talk more.

If you would like to talk to someone in real time as well, there are a couple of numbers below for you to reach out to.

Griefline - available 8am - 8pm 7 days - 1300 845 745

Beyond Blue - available 24/7 - 1300 224 636

Take good care of yourself,

indigo