My new job and child's anxiety

[movingkids]

Hi all wanting help from people who suffer with anxiety. My child has it and self harms. I have got a new job in a capital city which means we would have to leave the country town and my child will also need to start a new school. I know anxiety stops people doing stuff. But am I going to do more damage than good making them move. Any help would be great 13 years old. They say they can't handle the city we tried a couple of weeks they never came out of the bedroom. Went out and they had a panic attack. Please help me

[That Other Guy]

I take it for granted that your situation means you have no choice but to take this job.  And I think you already know this is going to be tough on your child.  So it's tough.

If there's actually no other option (and I assume if there was, you would be taking it) then the only possible thing to do is to try to get support for your childrens anxiety, such as counselling, and expect you're going to have to work together to get through this....

You don't say what city.  My dad lives in an hour or so out of Melbourne if I catch a train, and he's in the country, 16 acres.  Can you live in a semi rural area, but travel into the city for work?

[Petal22]

Hi movingkids,

Wellcome to our forums.

Im sorry that your child is experiencing this I understand how hard anxiety is to deal with.

Has your child ever received professional help for their anxiety?

A health professional can help your child to learn to manage their anxiety and they can also teach strategies for anxiety.

I understand that your child doesn’t want to move but where ever your child lives they are going to experience anxiety until they receive the appropriate professional help so they can learn to manage it.

Yes anxiety does try to stop the sufferer from doing things but the sufferer needs to learn that the more we do what our anxiety tells us to do the more we reinforce it.

[That Other Guy]

Petal raises a good point.  Your child won't ever function without professional help to deal with their anxiety

[Sophie_M]

Hi movingkids, 

Thank you for sharing this here. We hope you have found some comfort in the kindness and understanding of our lovely community members. We’re sure we’ll hear more from them.  

It sounds like you are a really caring and supportive parent, and it sounds like you’ve identified some incredibly important aspects to your child’s situation. In addition to that, moving from the country to city is a huge change to go through, and big changes like this can really have an impact on how we’re feeling. We’re glad you could share it with us here.  

It’s so important, that while caring for your child, you are aware of your own emotional wellbeing. Please remember to reach out any time you feel you are struggling, to the Beyond Blue helpline on 1300 22 4636, or you can reach our counsellors via webchat, here.   Your child is, of course, always welcome to contact us too, or there’s our friends at Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800. You can reach them online here. They also have great information online for kids and parents, such as this page for parents on Understanding Self-harm.

Please continue to share here, whenever you feel comfortable. You never know how your story might help others who can relate to what you’re going through.   

Kind regards, 

Sophie M 

[movingkids]

Thank you to everyone for the replies. We live 5 hours away from Perth. She has had counselling from age 6 and play therapy she hates it now. The job is more money and better for me but I don't have to take it. She thinks she can deal with this on her own, I have said it is about trying to get ideas to help cope with anxiety because she will always have it. I have found a new school which is smaller than her current one and is more focused on the student they also have a very cute therapy dog. But I know she is going to struggle to move and I worry.

[movingkids]

Thankyou this move is good for me work wise but can see it causing issues for my daughter and now my parents are quite ill. I'm going to see if I can wfh a couple of days a week and I will travel back and forth to Perth. But feel like I  am last in this equation.