My journey with ... anxiety?

[humbleb]

Hi everybody..
i just joined here today. I am hoping to find some understanding from people who also suffer and... is this really just from stress? Anxiety? Mental and nervous system?
i have had anxiety for 8 years.. moved to big city and had series of panic attacks every year or 2. In the beginning it was confusing but came to understand that it was anxiety/panic disorder. Symptoms were as normal.. beating heart, intense fear, can't breathe, chest pains.
each series of attacks were different with symptoms varying. Now this is where I'm very confused now. In November I had my series of attacks again. Was not heart or pains so much but, a full rush of blood or adrenaline shooting around my body.. mainly arms/chest area. And then panic. Even felt this hard hitting dizziness like bang hit my head and a nearly fall down..
this time I've gone 'right' it's time to fix this once and for all, I can't go on like this. So I quick my 2 jobs and got on a hopeful path.. ( also 4 to 5 years prior were very stressful and have had a lot of worry)
i contacted beyond blue who put me in touch with nsw mental health who referred me to an anxiety clinic. I could not get in for assessment for 2 months so I had a waiting period. In the meantime my gp put me on medication, during this period I had symptoms of panic and the blood rush/adrenalin feeling. Also noticeable was my ability to focus, memory loss, was really poor. Became more emotional. At times when it was bad it was hard to talk and I would be very slow.
at the assessment I answered questions with my most recent symptoms and after 10 minutes I was declined treatment there. He said I don't suffer from anxiety. So I've left there really lost and confused and have been getting scans, blood tests, mri's trying to find myself. I'm now started seeing a psychologist. What I'd like is some understanding of my current symptoms and why I feel like I'm deteriorating..
i stopped the medication about a month ago... I always now feel very vague, like it's not real, reality is not as clear.. getting much less clear in my head, very strange feeling. Every 2 weeks this feeling intensifies and hits me suddenly and lasts for a few days with heavy head, very fatigued, I 'have to' sleep as it's the only way to stop it. All day. Some nerve pinches and pains. I've always had ringing in my years but it's quite strong consistently now. I wish write more.. so scared. Yesterday sitting quiet at cafe, then bang hits me so quick and have to home.

[humbleb]

So how this is going so far. I woke up yesterday after chatting with a friend who suffers from anxiety.. gave me some tips, which I think are great.

i woke up felt a bit dizzy and strange in my head and also nautious, got some hot water and Vegemite on toast.. went and sat in the sun for ten minutes and then went back inside to meditate. This is when the anxiety started kicking in and I had a full on panic attack for an hour or more. I'd text mum to come over and she gave me a sedative. After some time i felt some relief and fell asleep for maybe an hour I'm not sure. But I woke and felt panic and was another attack not as bad as the first.. my mum and sister were here, so helpful.

this morning I woke up and feel mild headache, mild dizzy and nauseous, but I have the sedative and my usual current medication which I think is the difference from yesterday to stop me having a panic attack.

my dad is coming over today, we don't talk a lot, but he has been doing genome/DNA/stem cell treatment and he's going to try that. I don't have any other idea about it.

next week I'm getting a cat scan on a part of my brain where from an MRI I got recently the saw a 2mm loop or bubble like thing. My gp said I can check it out but it could have been there since I was born. But it's something I worry about so I'll check it out.

also I'll see my psychologist next week and tell her what's been going on recently. But I'm bed ridden at the moment with walks around the apartment.

step by step.. 5 months in, never been this long before.. let's hope I can live normal soon.

thanks for listening guys. Any input you would like to add will be welcome 😊

[humbleb]

Do I feel everything I see objects, people, surroundings are not real? Yes

do you feel like you're in a fog? I answered yes ( not a visual fog)

this is part of a questionnaire from my psychologist I will give to her today. The rest I was ok with. But this makes me anxious. I stare often and my head feels heavy in a sense.

and then later today I'm going to get a cat scan on the brain. Pretty scared.

these things sent me into a couple of bad panic attacks two days ago and leaves me so weak.

hoprfully thins week will get some answers and can feel more at ease about things.