My friend has problems and IDK how to help her

[B_Kojo]

My closest friend has depression and anxiety, for years I've given her support and advice in the best way I know but recently things have been bad for her and shes crying almost every time she calls. I can only give the same advice every time, I feel like I'm useless and idk what else to tell her, it stresses me out just thinking about her. I feel like I can't talk to her the same as I use to.

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

I believe there is a method that works better than how you are going about helping your friend.

Instead of telling your friend what to do etc...ask questions.

People with depression (and I'm one) need help and attention from family and friends but not in a childish way- more needing your focus, your time etc.

Questions like this-

"Do you think it would be a good idea to try something spontaineous to get your mind off your mood?"

"Im going to the cinema this afternoon, do you want to come"?

"Do you feel better than yesterday "?

That is examples of questions you can ask then after her reply follow it up with positive vibes eg

"Do you feel better than yesterday "?

She says "yes a little bit"

"Great, well thats an improvement, I'm so happy you feel better. Let me know when you feel like a coffee at our favourite cafe, would you like that"

Notice how you went from happy response (encouragement) to a suggestion and ending with another question?

All that technique is doing is involving yourself more by encouraging her more.

I hope that helps because you are a passionate friend and you are valued.

TonyWK