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My first panic/anxiety attack

Lulu_411
Community Member

Hi everyone! I wanted to share my story of my first anxiety/panic attack to 1.see if anyone can relate (feels good to know you are not alone) & 2.i may provide someone else out there with the comfort of a similar story to theirs.

ive always been a worrier. My mind has always run at a million miles an hour ever since I can remember. The endless possibilities of what could go wrong, I never saw it as a problem but just that I was a cautious person.

i had been in the same career for almost 6 years. I was comfortable in my field, but I was bored. I felt I needed s change. I decided to move on to a COMPLETELY different industry that I had no experience in. I was nervous, but excited.

the interview process for this new job was stressful, and I think this is where the anxiety started building. I had been told I had got the job but had to start in 10days. Given how long I had been with my current employer I was required to give 4 weeks notice. I had become quite close to my employer after 6 years do I decided to talk to her about possibly leaving with only 10 days notice. I felt physically ill leading up to our meeting, I wasn't eating and I was constantly worrying about this horrible conversation I was going to have. The news didn't go down well, she was very upset/ angry and disappointed in me. I felt like a horrible person, but I had no choice.

i began my new job, not feeling so great and very nervous. The first week went by and everything was so new and overwhelming. I wasn't eating, which I thought was just from nerves, I just wasn't hungry. I would go to bed at night dreaming about all the information I had to remember and wake up in a panic. Friday I got sick, I went to bed and I could feel my heart racing, my whole body pulsing.. I had a fever of 38.5. I took myself to hospital and my resting heart rate was 150bpm (normal is around 70-90). I spent the night. I just wasn't myself, I was sad and a mess. Once home I just couldn't leave the house to go to work. I would work myself up with worry to the point of vomitting, still not eating. I ended up quitting my new job and going back to my previous work.. Things are good now.. But I worry I will never be able to move on to a new career..

3 Replies 3

IAMTHAT_IAM
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Lulu.411

i guess everyone is different but I can relate to new jobs and anxiety, It could be the familiar or the "your known" environment is taken over by the unknown. Personally I have found going back to something I know well and have done most of my life even though quiet stressful is better than something completely new. Unfortunately it pays half and hours suck, but at least I don't get panic attacks and find myself in really strange situations I can't explain.

I don't know if this helps? As you know its all one big balancing act trying things, keeping routine and finding out what works for us all as individuals. I have spoken to therapist who does exposure therapy for anxiety, but it takes time.

I read your conundrums and just smile, I understand and have experienced much of the same as has most people reading on this forum.

Thanks for sharing, do you take meds?

Kind regards Aaron

Hi Aaron. Thanks for your reply. It's comforting to know I'm not the only one!

im not on any meds daily, only when I can't sleep or get really stressed/had a bad day.

its so hard to not think of yourself as a failure when you were unable to achieve something you were originally so excited about, but I try to look at it as a lesson in my life to learn from and at least I have it a go!

Hi Lulu.411

Aint that the truth, your last statement is so true its frustrating to think what you were capable of and now can't even muster half the strength to tackle! Its great that you have the attitude of looking at it as a lesson and having a go! I guess the other thing is we really should have as much fun and laugh's as possible because the more we do the less we have the other.

The other thing I have noticed big time is that the stigma with mental health in the workplace is so far from being acceptable! do you find this also? I am so scared to tell anyone because I don't want to be restricted, or not given opportunities. Even the way people think of you and talk to you changes! Ive had some pretty unique and special jobs reserved for only a few and any person whom presented with mental health issues in this arena would not go very far at all! sad but true, the corporate or commercial hard line of business doesn't account for the real emotional human side of its workers! anyway off to play tennis!