My anxiety keeps me from leaving the house

[CE36]

I am 28 and have had anxiety for about 10 years. Although I do wonder if I had it even longer but the real symptoms started to show around 18 -19 years old.

In the last 4-5 years it has gotten worse to the point where I avoid leaving the house. I don’t have a job because of this and it’s really starting to effect me financially. Because of the financial worry it’s then making my anxiety even worse.

I’m aware of it, I know it’s a problem, I know what I need to do, I listen to words of advice. But then I do nothing about it. It’s been like this for years and I just can’t break the habit.

I have been to a GP to get a mental health plan - about 6 years ago when I first realised it was a big problem and then again about 3-4 years ago. They were two different doctors and also two different psychologists that I saw. I had about 5 sessions with the first one and 2 with the second one. Although it was nice to unleash some emotions, and hear some of their ideas for grounding and breathing exercises, I didn’t exactly find any of it helpful. Like I said before, I listen to advice but it’s like it goes in one ear and out the other and my mind doesn’t absorb it as something that would help/fix me.

Both of the GP’s suggested I go on antidepressants. The first I said no to and the second I said ok. Got the pills from the chemist. Took one pill then left the box in the cupboard. I hear a lot of people saying don’t take anti depressants as it’s just a bandaid etc and not good for you so I suppose that’s why I am hesitant to take them.

I’ve been thinking about getting a new script for some and giving them a go but just to make things worse for myself I also hate the idea of going to see a GP and telling them my story. The thought of it makes me sick to the stomach. I wish there was a way I could do it online, I’m very easily able to write everything down but I hate the thought of speaking about it. It makes my throat go tight like there’s a ball in there just thinking about it.

I really need to get a job so I need to get my anxiety under control. I’ve had jobs In the past (just casual jobs at supermarkets, warehouses etc) I had trouble going to basically every shift and I guess I think about how I hated those jobs and that probably makes me assume I’m going to hate any job and therefore I just avoid it. But i really want to change this thought pattern! I cant expect my partner to keep paying for things I can’t afford etc.

[james1]

Hi CE36,

Wow it sounds like you have so many things going on in your mind. I would feel very overwhelmed if I had to consider so many things. So I hope you don't mind if I do not reply just yet to your last part about the jobs - I feel more comfortable replying to you about getting your support in place first because I think it may be more helpful to start there.

I'm 26 and I know what you mean about feeling like advice just goes in one ear and out the other. I also have heard many pieces of advice which just didn't help me. So I think the best thing to do is to keep talking to people. Ideally, your support team will consist of a number of people - GP, psychologist, friends, family, peers like us, support lines. The more people you speak to regularly about your struggles, the opinions you will hear on what has worked for others, and perhaps what may work for you.

The key is to make sure you keep track of what does work. You said it was nice to unleash some emotions - that's really important. Write it down. Keep the psychologist in your back pocket so you can use them to unleash some emotions. It sounds like it helped with that, if not some other things.

For medications, it takes a while to find one that works, but if that is what is necessary, then we should take them. They are a bandaid, but sometimes bandaids are necessary. If you have a bleeding cut, you need a bandaid to help protect the cut until your body heals over. If you do decide to take the medication again, make sure you take it regularly as per the instructions and keep in touch with your GP. They only work over a period of time so starting and stopping won't be helpful.

As for seeing a GP again, you said you are able to write everything down, which is really awesome. Perhaps you can do just that. Write everything down and show that to the GP in your session. It's important to be able to talk about things, but by writing things down, perhaps you'll find it easier to just answer the questions rather than having to proactively tell your story again.

Hope to hear from you again!

James

[kanga_brumby]

CE36 You could try a course at your local neighborhood house if you a male try the mens shed as a means of getting out of the house. That's all I got I am tapped out. I am in a similar position to yourself but at the moment I cannot move because I cannot walk far. I am waiting for a mobility scooter then I wont have an excuse to lock myself away. Some people have made me promise to join them in some of their activates around town. Which should be a hoot. It's been a long time since I have done what these people are doing. So I have a teaching job on my hands.

Peter