Mums group anxiety, is it worth it!

[LP80]

I am finding the same thing as Stina, but with a mothers group. I am a new mum and have always been open about my anxiety and have not made quite a few outings due to it. Now I find myself being excluded and it is awful. Even found out they have a seperate group chat from the one I am on. I find most days I cannot sleep from thinking about it and feel sick leaving the house with my daughter little alone going to events with these people. It is a small town and I fear leaving the group will bring more stress... if possible

[Peppermintbach]

Hi LP,

I hope that I can offer a very gentle welcome to you to the forums. Feeling excluded is an awful feeling, and I would think that it would be that much harder in a small town because everyone knows everyone...

I feel you were (are) very brave to be so candid and open about your anxiety. It must have felt like a kick in the guts (figuratively speaking) when they started excluding you. I think that would have really hurt...

You sound like you’re really on edge lately and the lack of sleep must be rough...

Aside from this group, I was wondering how is the rest of your support network, for example, is there family, other friends, partner, etc who would have your back? Sorry, I’m only wondering as it does sound like you could do with someone in your corner...

Plus of course you’re always most welcome to talk to us here. There’s no pressure or rush but if you’re feeling up to it, you can write any time you like. I feel there are many caring people here who would want to listen and support you...

Kind and warm thoughts,

Pepper

[Peppermintbach]

Hi again,

I’m sorry, I feel as though I didn’t address your question in my previous post.

About staying or leaving this mothers’ group, I feel that’s up to you of course. It’s a difficult decision to make, that’s for sure...a tough decision...

So I was wondering if you might find it helpful to write a list of pros and cons for leaving this group (as well as pros and cons for keeping in touch). I think you might find it helpful in terms of figuring out which direction you would like to go...just a gentle idea for you...

Kindness and warmth,

Pepper

[Moonstruck]

Hello LP80.....I sympathise with you, I really do. I have a very short concise answer to your thread question "Mums Group anxiety...Is It Worth It?".

"No".

sending much love...Moon S x

[kned]

Hi there.

I couldn't go past without replying!

I have been in a similar situation although i wasn't open about my anxiety. After a few sessions, I started to feel excluded, I suspect because I am shy and don't talk a lot.

At the time, my instinct was to forget mums group. It didn't seem worth the anxiety and I wasn't enjoying my maternity leave with my daughter. I'm not saying this is what you should do, but I agree with the above - write a pros and cons list and have a think about what makes being a part of a mums group so important to you.

For some mums, building friendships with new mums is very important. For others, it's not something they feel they need and usually this is because they have other support systems in place.

I do not regret leaving the group. I ended up finding other activities for my first baby and I to do together that bought with it less anxiety (swimming lessons for example). However living in a larger area does make a difference.

If you do want to stay in the group, have you connected with just 1 or 2 of the women? Perhaps you could try to focus on a friendship with 1 or 2 of the mums. Good luck with your decision.