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Moving forward.

Patrick 79
Community Member

Hi,

I really don’t know how to start this as I have never done this before. I’m a 41 year old male living in fear of myself. I have had everything and opportunities but I keep failing because of my anxiety and depression. Everyday I am trying to find the easiest way to end it. I can’t turn to anyone because I feel ill be a burden or drama queen so I keep it to myself. I feel every day in my mind is a torture. I turn to alcohol as a crutch even though I know afterwards it’ll make me feel worse but I do it to make me feel good at the time. I lie to people just to fit in and make myself feel better. I have lost relationships because of being this way and I just honestly feel giving up is the only option now. I am lost and sick to my stomach being this way . I’m sorry for writing this but don’t know how this works. I’m even anxious writing this.

3 Replies 3

Sophie_M
Moderator
Moderator
Hi Patrick 79,

It must be very difficult to live in fear of yourself and to believe that you are failing due to your anxiety and depression. We understand that things are rough for you right now and it can be challenging to reach out to others as you believe that you might be a burden on others. It sounds like you might be self-medicating with alcohol, have you spoken to you GP about putting supports in place to manage your anxiety and depression? We recognise that sometimes it can all be too much and we have contacted you privately to offer you support. 

Please always know that there are other supports for you as well. We would strongly urge that in overwhelming moments you get in touch with our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467). 

MensLine Australia is a free 24/7 telephone and online counselling service for men with emotional health and relationship concerns. You can contact them on 1300 78 99 78 or https://mensline.org.au/ 

If you would like some help finding mental health support, we would recommend that you get in contact with the Beyond Blue Support Service. They are available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 1pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport  One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals. 

You are not alone in this and do have to deal with all the pain on your own. We are here to support and encourage you to continue to visit us on the forum. 

Katyonthehamsterwheel
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hey Patrick

You know, they say in order to get better we need to say the things we can’t say. You’ve started to do just that by posting here, so good on you. Sophie’s given you lots of places to take the next step. With the right tools you can make changes so that the future looks different. How would you feel about approaching your gp or giving one of the helplines a call?

Im a couple years older than you, and on the same journey. It’s not too late but 🙂

Katy

Petal22
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi Patrick 79,

Sorry you are feeling this way.

I understand anxiety I had severe anxiety OCD but have now recovered from this condition……

My condition was like living in an internal hell ……

I seeked professional help from my gp through to a clinical phycologist, psychiatrist and this then led me to a group therapy that specialised in OCD……. I’m now free……… if I can be free there is HOPE that you can be too….

Have you seeked professional help? I don’t know we’re I’d be without the help of professionals…

Believe me when I say life can be great for you………. It really can ….