Morning anxiety. Help please!

[JJRX2]

Hello,

I'm a 31 year old mum of 4 and currently having some trouble with anxiety and what I think is some sort of depression.  It's the first time I've ever felt like this and I feel so down and disconnected from my children, husband and the world.  I have been to see a GP who told me to contact Anglicare and arrange to see a Counselor.  My appointment with them isn't until Friday and while I wait I'm having some major problems with sleep.  I am very tired and fall asleep quite early most nights.  I then find I'm awake from 3am and have extreme anxiety and do not go back to sleep.  I simply lay in bed very panicked and think very negative thoughts about life until I have to force myself to get up for my children.  I then drag myself around until my mood lifts a little some time after lunch.  I was really hoping to get a little advice to help me get through the night.  It's a horrible feeling and really can't handle feeling so down.  I have tried going for walks and also tried some breathing techniques but nothing is making me feel any better.  I just want to feel happy again, happy about life, happy about the future.

[White_Rose]

Hello JJRX2

So glad you have found the Beyond Blue web site and have posted here. For many people it is a hard thing to tell the world how you feel so thank you for trusting us. We are here to help, comfort and support you as much as possible.

Waking in the small hours is classic depression unfortunately and then we have to battle with feeling tired during the day. Having nap during the day only seems to exacerbate the night time waking, so it feels like a catch 22.

When you wake up you have all sorts of negative thoughts running around in your head and of course this anxiety stops you sleeping. It's 3:00 am and here I am on the computer which is really the worst thing to do. Anything that stimulates you needs to be avoided because it is even harder to go back to sleep. And having four children to care during the day is enough to make anyone tired. I know as I also had four children, very close in age. The eldest was six when the youngest was born.

So how to get back to sleep? It's OK to get up and go to the toilet etc, get a cold drink, no coffee. The go back to bed. If I get up and get cold, going back to bed and getting warm again tend to help me back to sleep but it is a bad habit of mine.

Instead try concentrating on something pleasant. Plan your next holiday in your mind for example. One thing I find works well is to 'reread' a book. Not with the actual book but in my mind. Go through it chapter by chapter telling yourself the story. It requires a fair amount of concentration and certainly beats counting sheep.

The concentration puts other thoughts out of your mind and gives your body a chance to relax, allowing you to sleep again.  Try it!

Good luck. Post in again here and tell us how you are going.

Regards
LING

[HelenM]

Hi JJRX2

As LING says sleep problems are so common in depression. My Mum doesn't have depression but often wakes. She finds if she stays in bed her thoughts become morbid. She tends to get up and either watch tv or go on her computer. If staying in bed is just too hard maybe getting up would be better.

I really hope things improve soon.

Helen

[Chloekat84]

Hello JJRX2 and welcome to the forum. There are many helping people here to listen and understand where your coming from. I often find the mornings the worst part of the day a well as my anxiety and depression are at an all time high and i need to wait a while for the meds to kick in. I also feel like i want to go back to sleep but physically i cant, unsure as to why cos i could if i wanted to cos my youngest is in childcare 4 days a week. Anyways i know where your coming from and im here for support. Let us know how you are doing. Take care x

[TheSteve]

Hi JJRX2,

Thanks for sharing. There is some really good advice above from the contributors here, the more methods, tools, and techniques you have in your toolbox the better you will be able to tackle this issue. Which, by the way, is more common than you probably think AND is treatable.

Speaking as somebody who has been through some pretty bad insomnia in the past, here are a few coping and healing techniques I have used over time:

1) Get your hormones checked next time you see the doctor, hormones can play havoc with our sleep if they are out of whack

2) Understand that in the early hours, our serotonin levels are at their very lowest. So, it is most normal to feel anxiety and depression in the early hours for no other reason than the fact that we are biologically programmed to have lower levels of the "feel good" brain chemical at this time of day. Just understand that this means ALL of us, anxiety is ALWAYS worse in the mornings.

3) The breathing techniques are an excellent way to get yourself under control, at any time of day. Some techniques I would recommend you look up are: Shavasana; the 4-7-8 breathing exercise (see Dr Weil on the web); the cooling breath (as our bodies cool, we can fall to sleep easier); viparita karani pose (legs up wall). All of these have helped me immensely in life

4) Avoid alcohol, period. It is by far the biggest sleep disruptor, worse than caffeine.

5) Read a book, something you may have already read and enjoyed. Something feel good perhaps a novel you would read on a beach holiday.

6) Very important, when you wake up give up all notions of going back to sleep. Eliminate this as a goal, and you will eliminate any anxiety associated with the thoughts "I'm going to be knackered tomorrow" "going sleepless will kill me" etc.

7) Continuing from #6 above, make your goal a very simple one when you wake up in the early morning: your goal should ONLY be to relax as deeply as possible. Use all methods in your arsenal to achieve your one and only goal, to deeply relax, rest, and recuperate. Don't worry about sleeping, if you just focus on calm relaxation your body will sleep for you.

Good luck and I wish you well.

Steve

[Chloekat84]

That is some great advice there steve that i might use myself when i wake up during the night and cant get back to sleep lol thankx for the input.

[TheSteve]

You got it. I always find that as long as I don't have booze in my system, I can get these techniques to work. Also, it is important to understand that lack of sleep can not kill us. Our bodies are extremely intelligent, millions of years of evolution in every cell contains far superior intelligence to our thinking (worrying!) minds. If we can get our mind out of the way and let our body take over, it will heal itself.

[Chloekat84]

Again great advice!