Hi Lori,
Welcome to Beyondblue. Plenty of others come here to vent too, so you're not alone there.
I'm glad Aggy has replied to you, I know there will be a lot of first hand experience shared. It's often helpful to know that there are other people who feel similarly to you.
I think the idea of acceptance is not so much throwing in the towel and saying "well this is just the way it is". I think it's more to do with "ok well if this is how I feel (fearful) what will I do regardless? Is the fear real or imaginary? How much should I buy into this fear? Is resisting the fear actually helping?"
They once did an experiment of acceptance with monkeys. (It's a little cruel but explains acceptance really well) 2 monkeys were set to participate. Inside a box was a banana. The 1st monkey stuck his hand inside the cage, reached for the banana and tried to pull it out. There was a claw contraption on the entrance so as he pulled and pulled on his hand it was just getting more and more stuck. The 2nd monkey realised that if he put hi hand into the cage and pushed forward then slowly brought his hand back he was able to release the banana. The point of the experiment is that resistance isn't useful, acceptance is more reliable.
Hope this has given you food for thought.
I don't suffer from agoraphobia however I have always struggled with severe anxiety. I know Aggy will vouch for me that one of the techniques I always find myself recommending to others is Mindfulness. Worthwhile googling if you haven't come across this.
Hope we will hear back from you.
AGrace
