cant get you outta my head

[dorothy]

Hi all

Started medication day 2 today took 2days off sick leave have to return back tomorrow feeling anxious++ spaced out a little still not sleeping. All that keeps repeating in my head; what if I freak out, what if I have panic attacks what if I get dizzy, how the hell am I going to cope and hide how I am feeling.

I know it's the anxiety speaking and I try so hard not to think negative thoughts but its just like that song. I know it's only early days restarting my meds I just feel so alone and frightened. I honestly don't know what is worse my depression or anxiety.

[AGrace]

Hi Dorothy,

So I take it you're off to work today. Let us know how you go, we'll be thinking of you.

All the thoughts, wouldn't it be great if we could use some kind of extraction machine?!! One of the things I've tried in the past is to dis-empower the thoughts. This will sound silly but it can work. 

1. When you have a thought, name it, give it a title like a book. "Oh so I'm having the days of our lives thought again, thanks brain, that was really informative."

2. Say the thought in the voice of a character. You can imagine Donald Duck saying "Oh, I'm so anxious, I don't even want to go to work tomorrow, qwaackk, qwaack qwaack." When we hear our thoughts in our own voices, we have a tendency to believe them a little more.

3. Sing your thought, perhaps to the tune of Happy Birthday, Staying Alive, or We Wish you a Merry Christmas.

I hope if nothing else I've made you laugh, but do consider the techniques.

AGrace

[Chloekat84]

That is great advice AGrace I might try that next time im out and anxiety or depression hits me. Today is an average day for me. Seeing my doctor today so hopefully can get some info on whats happening with my psychiatrist. I dont see my psychologist till next month but at least thats all happening. Wilil let you know how it all goes. Hope everyone is having a half decent day today. I know this gloomy weather can make you feel depressed at times. I know it does with me. That it for now x

[dorothy]

Thanks guys but guess what I am a complete failure called in sick again went to GP and told him how awful I am feeling and the medication has not kicked in or making me sick so he gave me till Friday off which is good that it gives the medication time to work or bad enabling me not to face my panic attack.

Worst of all this is a new job for me looks bad having a week off I know and they don't know about my depression or anxiety I have always managed to hide it with the stigma about mental health conditions even in my industry it is best that way

[AGrace]

Hi Dorothy,

That's not failure, it's simply recognising your limits and nurturing yourself. We've been raised in a society that makes us feel guilty for taking time out. This needs to change. The world runs at such a fast pace we often don't even notice the little things anymore. So I think it's great that you were able to make your choice - for YOU.

Don't stress too much, workplaces are like machines they do keep ticking along even when we're not there. I started a new job about 5 years ago and after the 1st day I got food poisoning, but it was so severe that I had to take about 4 weeks off. These things happen so don't be too hard on yourself.

Take some time between now and Friday to really relax and enjoy life without the pressure. We don't get to do this often enough.

AGrace

[dorothy]

AGrace you say the most kindest words thank you. I will try to relax (although I did spend most of it in bed today). I just can't get over how bad this depression and anxiety has hit me this time it's crippling me. I just pray my AD kicks in soon

Dorothy

[gibby3794]

hi Dorothy how did you go with work? I have the exact same issues I got really bad anxiety as soon as I got in my car (I got anxiety every time I got in that car, no others just that one) still to this day don't know why, I did sell it tho, and the next day I went to take my friends car to work so it would help with the anxiety, but then I had anxiety about going back to work after a day off, and it may sound weird but even after my weekend I get anxiety going back as if I have something to worry about, but generally once im there its not bad

[giggles]

Hi Dorothy

I know exactedly how you are feeling as I had been like that for years until I rebuilt myself which is a constant life thing I reckon.

While I was reading your post I thought I would like to share how those thoughts never come to fruitation unless we let them win.

I read once about watching what you think. So once I put this to use and actually said to myself everytime a negative thought came to play. I simply said"Watch your thoughts' and ha what a wonderful difference.

I know today it is also just a habitual thing we are all guilty off I am sure.

Assuming things is pretty much the same thing to me. I may assume something about someone from what they are saying and once I have more information about them and the situation I find I was completely wrong about my thoughts.

We are very fast thinkers I reckon and unfortunately a thought is a lot quicker than the reality of life.

I can only hope you read this and that you can practise practise practise until you get to where I am and learnt how to control it.

I found writing it out wonderful as well as many people may suggest as this gives it a place to sort it out sometimes.Sometimes I can see how nuts I was to even believe such things about me. I appreciate it is not for everyone though.Talking may do the same thing.

 All the best Dorothy and be patient with yourself it is great that you have reached out in this way.It takes courage.

Giggles