How do I control my panic??

[Lookingforpeace]

Hi everyone

this is similar to a previous post of mine.

last time I was talking about how pulling over to pick up a lost dog and return it to it's owner left me in an anxious mess for the rest of the week.

would you believe it has happened again !! Again I saw a dog running down the side of a busy road and out of a whole line of traffic not one person stopped but me. I managed to catch the dog and return it to it's owner. (I think I must be a lost dog magnet!!) Again I can't stop thinking about what if I wasn't there, what if it got hit by a car, what if what if...

and to make matters worse, I just found out my brother was in a serious car accident and his cars written off. He is ok thankfully but I am a total mess. I keep thinking about how one day u could be totally fine and the next day, minute, second... Ur whole life can be turned upside down. This scares me.

ontop of this I'm dealing with a bully at work and just feeling so deflated, anxious, demotivated, tired.

Any words of comfort or wisdom would be greatly appreciated.

[Neil_1]

Dear Lookingforpeace (LFP for short, nah, I think I'll call you Peace);

so dear Peace,

May I say what a wonderful, caring and thoughtful soul you have.  The people who know you would be extremely lucky as they would have the most beautiful and caring supportive friend/family member available.

As you say, no-one else pulled over - but YOU did.  And that's the thing, cause you're very special and caring individual.  And then was able to transport that dog back to their owner.

With regard to the dog and no doubt the 100's of other dogs or other animals that are out there - it's just simply not an option to overly stress about these kinds of things.  I know this is much easier said than done, but all you can do is what you're doing.  ie:  when you see something in your vicinity, you're able to help.  But you cannot control or stress about things that you have no control over.  Boy this sounds like I'm some psyche - perhaps I've heard this somewhere before.  But seriously Peace, if we all did that, then we'd be all a tensed up bundle of nerves and be incapable of doing anything for the simple fact that we'd be worrying unnecessarily about things that we cannot do anything about.

Keep doing what you're doing - and just know deep down, that you're doing the right thing.  And believe deep down, that there ARE more people like you in the world and that there would be others who would do the same thing in other places that you're doing.

With regard to your bro, I'm so pleased that he's ok.  Here's another issue that can be a massive one - I know, cause it haunts me from time to time as well.  And yes, it can become very scary - I guess that's one of the reasons I'm on meds and I see psyches - not the sole reason, but it's one of them.  Do you have any professional support happening?  Like GP's etc??

I don't hate many things in this life, but Peace, I do HATE bullies.  And they happen too often in life and it doesn't matter where it is, it's never pleasant for the victim.  I don't know how long this has been going on, but if you're able to write things down - things said, dates, times, who said them, etc that is a good first step.  Do you have any colleagues who are supportive?  Or perhaps a Human Resources rep that you could go too?

I do hope you can get back to us - on all of the above.

Kind regards

Neil

[Lookingforpeace]

Thank you for your kind words Neil. Speaking of dogs, gorgeous one in your profile pic 🙂

I do need to stop worrying about things outside of my control. I'm just not sure how. I'm not seeing a professional yet - id like to, I just haven't had time to get a referral yet.

In regards to the bully, I spoke to a colleague about it yesterday and she recommended I confront the bully - speak to her as an adult and gently ask her to stop what she's doing as it's hurting me. I'd really really like to do this and I think it's the best option but I don't feel strong enough at the moment. I'm still feeling quite depressed about the whole situation. I wish the onus didn't fall on me to put a stop to it.