Mental breakdown

[Bill Skarsgard]

Hi all, I’ve come here as a way to help my self. The last week or so I have not been my self. I haven’t been able to work, go out, socialise with anyone besides my partner. I’ve been crying out of the blue, mind is racing, experiencing derealisation and paranoia, feeling as if I’m not in touch with reality. Experiencing anxiety and panic attacks, the whole shebang. I feel completely hopeless and at the same time, feeling a terrible amount of guilt due to my mental health deterioration. I am on the verge of quitting my job. Everything is too much, everyday life is too overwhelming. Has any one experienced this?, if so how did you overcome, and get on with life? I feel it is a nervous breakdown, I’ve never experienced one. I guess a build up of work stress, on top of that my father being hospitalised for months at a time in ICU. 

[criss]

Hi Bill, you are not alone in the feelings you are experiencing. Anxiety and helplessness can feel so isolating and debilitating and I understand the feelings of guilt that u are even having these issues. Often it helps to just take a moment, a break and sit still with your thoughts and feelings as they occur. It's called acceptance type therapy, the point being to not try find answers, think of past or future but just be. In those moments, to just surrender to what is, take a few breaths and be kind to yourself helps to calm the racing mind. It brings back quiet, resting mind where we are then able to discover what triggers our out of control thoughts. Stress, pressure and the need to control aspects of our life (that often we simply cannot control) can trigger unhelpful thoughts that escalate. We lose balance, peace and spiral to a point of what u r experiencing now. Remember..you are human and perfectly imperfect. You may need to make small changes like taking a break..a day off for yrself..Take a walk, sleep in..go somewhere nice for a coffee and just be. 

[Johnny_]

Hi Bill,

I am so sorry to hear you are going through this. If it helps to hear, I went through it myself and I’m still on the recovery. It’s been 9months now…don’t let that scare you as we all recover differently. My GP said I was bad. 

Mine was work related stress. At the start, what you described, is exactly how I was, I couldn’t even decide on what groceries to buy. I ended up leaving the shops and crying in my car…everything was overwhelming, yes it was scary!  

It took a couple of months for my nervous system to calm down..and for me to be even the slightest bit social. I could sit outside quietly with a friend but that’s about it. My anxiety was crazy with crying spells occurring all the time.

After a few months, I felt calmer and not as overwhelmed, things started to become easier and my circle expanded. I was still sensitive to loud noise and busy surrounding like inside a cafe etc but otherwise ok.

Today I am back to socializing, sitting in a cafe, listing to v8’s fly past etc. I am still dealing with mild anxiety and muscle tension and crying spells when I get the tension released my massage but i am getting there.  

Advice, live a calm life for the moment, meditate, practice mindfulness, see a therapist, walk, less screen time..relaxing music (calm app) helped me alot too..

Happy to answer any questions. Take care:) 

[therising]

Hi Bill Skarsgard

Feeling the speed of our thoughts can be such an unbelievably overwhelming feeling. For example, just say you have 1 challenge to face at work. Not a problem. Then imagine your job involves you solving a number of interconnecting challenges or problems. Add to that a family member who experiences regular periods of poor health and you having to find the 'free' time to manage that. Add some financial challenges to the mix. Add the inner dialogue that goes a little like 'What's wrong with me?'. I could go on but you get the gist. All of a sudden you have multiple interwoven problems that you're trying to find solutions/answers to. Like a computer, your brain is constantly trying to compute how everything can work out. Day in and day out it's computing, looking for solutions. This definitely has a feel to it. It changes your breathing, it becomes exhausting and the speed at which you're computing everything all at once can become so unbelievably overwhelming. You can feel yourself in 'hyper speed' mode.

I've found a breakdown can actually be a constructive thing when I find the time and support with which to manage it. If you can take a week or a couple of weeks off work, this could give you the time you need to untangle or break down every single challenge you're facing. I imagine you'd be surprised. If you think you've been dealing with 5 challenges, you could actually find there are 15 breathtaking challenges.

With the reality shift factor, it's been said that when everything we've come to identify with starts to fall away, things can become surreal. The observer effect can suddenly kick into gear. 'What am I observing? What is this? Oh my god, I have no idea what this is (based on me having no reference for it)'. Figuring out what you're observing becomes a relief. Not sure but do you think it could involve suddenly disconnecting/detaching from a lot of the things that are no longer working for you? Strange question but do you find there are ideas that are beginning to naturally come to mind without you thinking? Btw, the crying could be a constructive form of stress relief or letting go.

[MumOfBoyz]

Hi Bill,

I’ve experienced this recently. I thought I was going crazy. I’ve been so busy trying to juggle work, my boys, dealing with my ex leaving us after abuse twice! I didn’t let myself feel the pain and I was in denial, when my boys went away, it all hit me at once and I realised I also have social anxiety. It led to a breakdown. I’ve had two weeks off work booked in and I’ve had to put myself first. I’ve reached out to my eldest friends and others that I pushed away. This has helped. I’m very much a work in progress. I cried for 3 days and let it all in. It’s been two weeks and I feel I’m on the way up. 

I don’t know if any of my comment has helped but you are not alone. 
I wish you a speedy recovery x

[MumOfBoyz]

Hi,

I agree that a couple of weeks off could be the best. I’m currently on holidays and helping myself to overcome my breakdown, and yes I have a lot of challenges to overcome. I was in denial with juggling too many things that it all hit me when my boys went away. I’m glad it’s happened this way but it will be a long road ahead.