Managing Anxiety at work

[TDM24]

I've had anxiety since i was little.

It has recently made a come back. I used to deny it. But now i cant.
For a solid month now i have woken up in panic, panic attack to the point i needed to take a week off work & my better half had to stay home from work with me also.

I know where my anxiety has stemmed from this time, however i do not know where it began from a young age.

I am in the process of waiting for my first appointment with a physiologist - 2 1/2 month wait 😞

I guess my main frustration is being anywhere but home.
I live on a farm, which i adore. I have the most loving and supportive partner, my furbabies are the best comfort blanket. I am not depressed. i love my life, my job etc
But i have never struggled this much to get up in the morning and go to work where i know my comfort place is home. It is where i feel safe, and less anxiety. The moment i step into work or a place where i cant focus on myself and my breathing is where my anxiety heightens more.
I need to work. No doubt. We all do in order to pay for day to day life. But in my head - I DONT WANT TO WORK 😞
I work 40 hour weeks- 8:30 - 5pm everyday and its the last thing i want to do right now.

I struggle to get up out of bed at the thought i have to go to work and put on an act of how im really feeling, push my own thoughts aside and deal with other people's issues at work. When all i want to do is focus on myself, my farm animals and be productive at home as i know that is what helps me.

My boss is supportive with what is happening, however i cant help but feel so much guilt at even the thought of taking another mental health day. Something has to give. I cannot hide at home forever.

This is my first thread and im probably doing it all wrong. But there is only so many times i can talk to my family & partner as i feel like i bring them down and im draining to the point i feel im a burden as i know i am repetitive in my thoughts.

i guess im just trying to find some ease while i wait to see a psychologist in 2 1/2 months time, but its just so hard.

Ive never been one to struggle to get up out of bed when i know im needed to feed the animals, water the vegetable garden, let the chooks out etc before i head to work. But as of late - i cant do any of that because i know in the back of my head i have to go to work where i dont want to be.

I dont know exactly what i want to get out of this thread, but it feels good to just say it. Even if its only a fraction of my thoughts.

Thanks
T

[Birdy77]

Dear T,

It's so good to hear that writing even a fraction of your feelings and thoughts feels good to you.

What great start!

It must feel really frustrating having to wait 2.5 months to see a psychologist. Is there a way you can access a different form of counselling? Even over the phone or by skype might help you? If not, i hope you now know you have here to get some of your feelings out, and now that you are heard and have understanding people on your side.

You said that youknow what the trigger has been fir your recent anxiety. Is there a way that this knowledge (of the trigger) can help to calm the anxiety at all? I hve found even managing to pinpoint the trigger can sometimes help to *place* my anxiety rather than allow it full rein over my life, if that makes sense.

Are you interested in meditation at all? I find it incredibly helpful during times of extreme distress.

I'm so glad you have furbabies to help bring you back to this moment, there's not much better help than that.

I'm glad you have come here, please feel welcone to write in as much as you like. If it helps, bring it on.

🌻birdy

[Cake74]

Hi T!

I remember when I was in a job nearly a year ago & the workplace generally encouraged us to speak up when we went through stuff but it’s so much easier said then done right? I remember going to work more than 1/2 hour early usually because I would spend the time getting in ‘work mode’ & trying to chill myself out. The workplace can be a really tough place to be in when we’re going through stuff like this.

Over the years I’ve worked on this through reading books & researching online. The end conclusion seems to be that brains are funny things... & when you’re in emotional pain this it’s your body and emotions trying to tell you something. I’m no where near like ‘healed’ or anything and bad days are a given but sometimes we can at least learn a little how our brains and body works to help us understand ourselves a little better ❤️

If you’re open, I’d love to recommend some books & YouTube channels that helped me?

One thing, I’m so stoked for you that you took some time off to care for yourself. Imagine if you had tried to ignore it & continue to work? Don’t demerit any good you do for yourself ❤️

Let’s focus on the cool stuff you’ve done for yourself: taken time off, opened up to fam & friends, acknowledged your pain - this is so great and try your best not to demerit any good you do for yourself ❤️

Yes, this is painful but there’s plenty of support for you, especially when you don’t feel like there is!

Even if you don’t feel it, you’re doing great, T!

[Lisa888]

I know this is an old thread but I found it just now because it's exactly how I've been feeling lately and I was wondering if anyone here has some tips. 

Every day I feel like I won't be able to cope with whatever might come my way at work. I'm tired and can't focus. I can read a paragraph over and over without the information sinking in. I've started anti depressants for generalized anxiety disorder five weeks ago and wonder if the dose maybe is too low or if it's not the right type of medication for me. While I do feel better than before in that I don't really cry anymore (where before the pills I could easily cry everyday without reason), I'm still feeling paralyzed at work, am very unproductive and have little energy or motivation to do anything else around the house (though that's also a bit better than before the pills).

Does anyone have tips on how to overcome this and still manage to get some work done? Or, alternatively, is it a better idea to fully take time off and focus on things that make you happy/feel better and get more sleep? If I had a broken hand the latter would make sense, but it's less clear when the problem is mental health related. Any thoughts or tips are welcome.