Hello, I am in my 40’s too and also have anxiety however I am learning to manage it. What I have found useful is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy which has two main goals 1) to effectively handle painful thoughts and feelings and 2) to create a rich, full and meaningful life. It’s based on 6 core principles:
- Defusion - Defusion means relating to your thoughts in a new way so they have much less impact and influence over you. As you learn to defuse from these painful and unpleasant thoughts they will lose their ability to frighten, disturb or depress you.
- Acceptance - This means making room for unpleasant feelings or sensations instead of suppressing them or pushing them away.
- Contact with present moment - Focusing on and engaging fully in whatever you are doing. Instead of dwelling on the past or future, deeply connect with what is happening right here, right now.
- Observing self and thoughts
- Values - What is important in your heart? What sort of person do you want to be? What is significant and meaningful to you?
- Committed action.
If you like to read I can recommend ‘The happiness trap’ by Dr Russ Harris. One particular aspect of it that I found useful was the defusing from my thoughts and recognising that they are just words and they may or my not be true and you don’t have to take a thought seriously and also just bring in the present moment.
I don’t have any friends here or have many hobbies myself but I am currently doing some study at Uni which I have just started and I am meeting some people this way. I also got a dog which has helped me get out and about meeting people. Hope this helps. All the best.
