Keeping in Touch With Friends

[Chloeellab04]

Hi, since I got social media and a phone pretty late, I never developed the social skills/etiquette required to text people spontaneously - whenever I do I feel like the conversation is really awkward and super short, and since I just finished high school and aren't seeing some of my friends as often, its starting to hinder some of those friendships. Anyone have any tips on how to start texting people?

[james1]

Hey Chloebellab04,

I'm also really bad at texting people, though for me it's mostly because I don't really enjoy texting all that much and I prefer meeting people in person. I don't know - I would say a lot of texting friends is just "do what comes naturally!" but that's not really helpful advice.

Do you prefer texting or meeting in person? Perhaps it may be less a case of finding how to text people spontaneously as it is just meeting up with them and enjoying their company that way.

Coming out of high school is a really tough thing to do from a social perspective, because you suddenly aren't seeing your friends every day and people naturally start to diverge. I think one of the best things you can do is also start to branch out a bit and try to explore your own hobbies and meeting people that way. It's really normal to not see friends as often, and even lose friends along the way. But it also means you'll find new friends and hopefully new friends who you can communicate with in ways that don't feel awkward.

That all being said, I'm 30 and resistant to social media. I don't enjoy it, and maybe I won't thrive in the current environment where social media is everything. But the friends I kept since leaving high school know my social habits, know that I'm rubbish at responding to texts, that I don't even bother responding in group chats on messenger, and the best way to get in touch is to organise to catch-up in person. So it's worked out in the end, even though there was definitely a period in my mid twenties where I felt quite lonely because I was trying to use social media but really not gelling with it.

James

[Sophia16]

Hi Chloeellab,

Welcome to the Beyond Blue forums and thank you for being open here. It sounds like you feel alone because you are unsure whether you are texting correctly.

Firstly, there is no real way of texting. You just text as if you are expressing your personality and talking to someone in real life.

As a 19-year-old Gen z, I have been texting my whole life. You start to develop the skills as time goes on. I always just start with a 'hi, how are you?' and try to keep the conversation going.

If you are trying to make friends online, Facebook group chats are a great way to start. You can easily join them.

If you want to keep in touch with your school friends, try and use Snapchat to test them every now and then. Asking how they have been and try and plan to go out.

Stay safe and i am always here to chat

It can be difficult at first, but trust me, yo will get used to it.

Stay safe and i am always here to start

[DaisyDills202]

Hi

I came here to make new friends and new things,,,

I have past problems i don''t understand what im going through

and yes i would like to keep in touch with people who are more uplifting

being someone who's actually negative drags me down...

is it possible to be with people who aren''t thinking badly of you?