Jobless because of anxiety

[SillyBilly]

Hi there, I'm new to the forum. I've called myself SillyBilly.

I'm pretty ashamed of who I am, but I'm in the process of trying to get help. While other people are unemployed and desperately seeking work, I have snuck through three job interviews this year, then my massive social anxiety has lead to me leaving those jobs. I literally ran out the door of one job. I feel like I'm employable, if I could only get through the anxiety, if I could only stop constantly worrying about what other people think about me. It's so bad that I'm even worried what the neighbours think of me, when they see my car still in the driveway all day everyday, never leaving for work. I barely see anyone, I'm too ashamed to tell anyone about my job situation. Every time I see a person I know, I'm either jobless or have a different job to when they last saw me. I feel really embarrassed to be me. And so ashamed.

But I am getting help. I have a mental health plan and will see a psychologist. I have started trying to exercise and meditate. I don't really know how to get less anxious with people, or how to stop worrying what other people think, so if anyone has any advice, I'd really appreciate it. I hope that I can be helpful to other people on the forum, too. Once I stopped being scared.

[quirkywords]

Billy ,

You are anything but Dilly as you had sought help and have written your first post.

Welcome to the forum.

Just by honestly writing your experiences you will have helped many people like you who read your words but may not reply. You have helped others like you that they are not alone.

I am glad you have got help and you are on your way to finding a way that will help.

Please post here as much as you like and maybe share your journey.

[Guest_4643]

Hi SillyBilly, welcome. I'm sorry you're currently unemployed.

If it makes you feel better, I've never had a job either. However, you're still contributing to society somehow. Well I'm not, but you and others are.

I hope you can find a job, or some volunteer work or something. Sorry I can't be of much more assistance to you. But you're not the only one without a job, COVID has made things very hard for everyone this year also.

- Tayla

[Summer Rose]

Hi SillyBilly

Welcome to the bb forum.

I really want you to know that you have nothing to be ashamed of. Anxiety is an illness and it's not your fault that you're currently feeling unwell.

Do you think you would feel the same if you had heart disease or migraine headaches or cancer or kidney stones?

Mental health issues are no different to physical health issues. People unfortunately fall ill and there's nothing fair about it. But they also get better.

You've got a good plan. Hang in there because it can improve for you.

Kind thoughts to you

[Guest_4643]

I agree, Summer Rose, and nice choice of words. Love your username and profile picture also.

Don't feel ashamed SillyBilly that you don't have a job. Mental illness can be very scary and limit people from what they can do. My GP and psychiatrist told me I'm limited in what I can do too.

You're not alone, maybe one day you'll end up finding a job you enjoy, or volunteering. COVID has made everything hard this year too like I mentioned. You'll be ok.

- Tayla

[SillyBilly]

Hi, thanks everybody for their kind words.

As soon as I posted I was really anxious, I wanted to take it back, I was so worried to put myself out there, but now I'm glad I did.

Tayla, you are definitely a valuable contributor to society. Just by replying to my post you have made me feel that I'm not alone and maybe my situation isn't so hopeless. I'm sorry that you don't have a job either, I hope you can still see yourself as a worthwhile person.

If it helps, my psychologist told me I need to give myself permission to be unemployed. She says I'm just not employable with my anxiety at the level that it's at. If I try and get another job straight away, I may just run away again. So yes, Summer Rose, you are right, I do have an illness and need to get it treated before I can get my life back in order.

I have no money, though, which is hard.

My social anxiety is still quite high. I went to the library today to photocopy something, and I felt really exposed and vulnerable, standing at the photocopier, when I would prefer no one to see me. Felt like a SillyBilly!

Thanks, once again, everyone, I feel more like I can contribute to others on the forum as well.

Don't worry, Tayla, I'm glad you have a supportive psychiatrist and wish you all the best

Billy