Job hunting anxiety - needing some good vibes!

[Little_Miss_Overwhelmed]

Hi everyone,

I joined a few days ago because I've been experiencing some terrible anxiety around looking for a job and reading some of these threads made a huge knot in my stomach loosen a little, so thank you all so much for sharing.

I'm 24, in the middle of a PhD, initially wanting to be an English scholar but now keen to just be in the world and have a job I enjoy and that I can balance with being a writer. My scholarship is running out soon, so I've started applying for hospitality jobs because that's where my experience is and it's an industry I really appreciate. My problem is that a) I haven't been in a physical workplace for about a year, so I'm nervous about diving back in, and b) my previous workplace was a traumatic place, mostly because my boss was a bully and took his stress out on people around him during busy periods. I eventually quit because I had convinced myself that I was incompetent and made a huge mistake. So I have a few bad memories that are making it difficult to feel confident, and that are stopping me from applying for jobs that I objectively know I can learn to do.

The very first job I've applied for, I got to the final interview and had a complete breakdown, cancelled the interview over text, couldn't get out of bed for two days, etc. As soon as I felt confident again I got offered a trial shift at a restaurant, and again completely fell apart and cancelled. It's taken me a long time to feel confident after that, and I'm worried it's going to just keep happening.

My anxiety gets in the way of me actually wanting a job. I sometimes have to stop myself from sabotaging an application, or dressing sloppily for an interview. I'm so anxious about not getting a job in the next month or so, but I'm also anxious about actually getting a job. Either way, the outcome terrifies me. But over the top of all of it is this huge guilt because I know that if I'd just been able to get my act together I could have been employed months ago.

Honestly would just love to hear some stories from people who have overcome their job hunting anxiety and proven to themselves that they can do anything.

J x

[Peppermintbach]

Hi J,

I hope you don’t mind if I extend a caring welcome to you 🙂

I’m glad you’re finding your way around the forums, and that you’re finding it helpful to read other people’s posts. Sometimes I think it’s nice to know that we aren’t alone in our struggles; I feel there’s comfort in that.

Congratulations on studying for your PHD. That sounds challenging...I’m impressed!

It‘s clear that you’re extremely anxious and fearful about re-entering the workforce again. It sounds like it has been keeping you up at night...

I wonder if you have spoken to anyone (e.g. a GP or counsellor) about the bullying experience at your last job. I was thinking maybe some of your current struggles like self sabotage, high anxiety, fears, etc reflect that traumatic period with your boss.

My gentle suggestion would be to make an extended appointment with your GP and ask him or her to asssess your mental health (if you haven’t done this already). If deemed appropriate, she or he can help you create a mental health care plan, which entitles you to a certain number of Medicare rebatable appointments with a psychologist.

A psychologist, for example, might have strategies to help you overcome your job seeking anxiety and help you get to the bottom of things...maybe this is something you might like to consider...

Otherwise, as you’re a uni student, I wonder if you have approached your uni’s counselling and job seeking services for assistance...just a thought.

I’m sorry, I haven’t personally experienced major anxieties when it comes to job seeking so I don’t really have a personal story to share. But I know there are others here who have overcome anxiety and landed a job. For example, I know one Beyondblue member who has struggled with anxiety for some time and now has a part time job that, from the little that I know, she is happy with it.

Kind thoughts,

Pepper

[Little_Miss_Overwhelmed]

Hi Pepper,

Not at all! Thank you for welcoming me and for offering such detailed support even though you have no personal experience. There is absolutely comfort in the simple act of talking about it and offering support.

It's certainly been keeping me up at night, and affecting not only my self-worth but my physical health too, as I tend to stress-eat and lie on the couch when things get tough. Of course this only makes me feel guiltier for wasting the day. Yay for unhealthy cycles.

I should have included this in my original post, but I approached my campus GP at the start of the year and we discussed my options for getting help. It was a difficult thing to do because I've always been one for avoiding problems, but I'm very glad I did.

I discovered that my university has an anxiety research centre and I've been seeing someone there for the past couple of months. It's a slightly unorthodox process but it is definitely helping, although we haven't directly discussed my previous boss. The impact he's had on my current thought process is something I've only realised recently - definitely something I'm going to talk to my therapist about next week. We have four sessions left and after that I may look into seeing a psychologist as well, depending on how I'm feeling.

Job seeking services is not something I've thought about - thank you for the suggestion! I will explore it.

It's lovely to hear about that Beyondblue member who has pulled herself through the jobhunting process - I've been reading similar threads to mine and have definitely found some common ground. If she is still active around these forums and is reading this, I would love to hear from her.

Again, thanks so much for your kind reply, and I hope all is well with you.

J x

[HamSolo01]

Hey there

I Am also 24 and currently looking for more work. I recently completed my degree and I'm basically in the same position as what you've described.

Whats your phd in out of interest?

I am trying to get into public service roles because of the job security. But it's ultra competitive and don't have enough real world experience because I was held back due to my anxiety.

Having said that, I am working casually at the uni in a shift based job. It's call centre basically. Not what I want to do for the rest of my life but definitely better than nothing.

I always remind myself that it's better to be doing something than nothing. I worked as a tutor for high school kids throughout my degree but these days places only want tutors with 90+ ATARS. Sillyreally.

I guess the reason I tell you all this is because I know what it's like. I have done the same for interviews. I have skipped them. Avoided calling people back. Tried to find work and get far enough in the interview stage only to bail atthe end because of my anxiety.

Overtime I got sick of it. I just thought 'screw it' and just had a go. The job I have now is basic but it took a lot to get there.

So never underestimate the power of breaking things down into processable pieces and also remember baby steps help.

The regret of not doing something sooner is bitter but it's always made easier by remembering that you've improved since then.

All the best and let me know how it goes.

[Little_Miss_Overwhelmed]

Hi HamSolo01,

Thank you for sharing your jobhunting experience; it feels like our brains work in similar ways. I've also got a bad habit of not being able to answer the phone on the first try - waiting for the voicemail and then calling the employer back hours later when I'm calm. I think I do it to make me feel in control, but in reality it already puts me in an apologetic position and is always the first step to giving up on the job.

I understand your frustration about the competitiveness of your field - my PhD is in Creative Writing & English Lit. Initially I wanted to become a lecturer and English professor, but what they don't tell you at the beginning is that academic jobs are almost impossible to get and having a PhD is kind of useless on its own because literally everyone applying in this field has one. So it's all about the extra publications/teaching experience you can cram in, and the people you know, and how well you can network. It can be really vicious. And because anxiety held me back from a lot of opportunities, you could say that I sort of fell behind in the pack. I'm at peace with it now and I'm definitely going to finish my PhD, but I have a lot of regrets about it and I'm not sure I would have started it if I'd known how I would feel at the end.

It's wonderful that you pushed through your anxiety and found a job that you feel positively about, even though it's not what you ultimately want to do! I am hoping to be at that point soon and I really think I'm getting there. Like you say, there will always be regret but looking back on how far you've come can be wonderful. I'm a long way from where I want to be but there are also things I do now that I straight out would not have tried six months ago. And that always makes me feel better. Baby steps always better than no steps at all.

All the best to you too, and good luck on getting into public service! I'm always here if you want to talk/vent about the process.

J

[HamSolo01]

Hey

Well said.

One thing I'm worried about atm after finishing my course is explaining to other people what I do now...or don't do.

You know sometimes I think people tend to think they know what's best for other people. I'm not sure why. But that's also something that doesn't bode well with anxiety.

Have you considered tutoring? Like going and working for a tutor place? That'd be a cool gig. I've been doing a bit of that throughout my course. Had an interview today actually. Don't want the job.

Another thing you could try is also just going to interviews. Even just making it up and applying. Good practice that way. Ask for feedback.

WWhat did you major in your phd in English literature?