intrusive thoughts

[bimmadude101]

Hi everyone,

I am a 19 year old male who has now been suffering from intrusive thoughts ocd for close to a year. I approached my gp to referred me to a psychologist who i told about my intrusive thoughts but struggled to open up to about my harm thoughts.

Recently have been seeing this girl who i seem to get regular harm thoughts towards and sometimes self talk in the back of my head saying things like i will kill ect, that freaks me out very much so. Its hard to convince myself that im a good person when im experiencing such terrible thoughts. Does anyone else experience this sort of self talk that randomly occurs? is this just a part of intrusive thoughts?

I have learn't to handle my intrusive thoughts better then what i previously have but i dream of the day they just go away. I have been doing meditation, exercising every day and trying my best to eat healthy... this has significantly improved my anxiety but has has no effect on my intrusive thoughts. which brings me to my next question.

The anxiety has almost nearly disappeared but i still have a frequent amount of intrusive thoughts which is scary becomes it seems as though these thoughts have become normal and not an intrusion anymore. I also have seemed to have developed depression being less motivated and tired from over sleeping.

I have a appointment coming up soon with the physiologist who im thinking about trying to open up with about these harm thoughts ect.

Any advise appreciated.

[demonblaster]

Thanks for reply ☺

Who to confide in?... I think anyone you feel comfortable around.

Good ideas writing down thoughts from BBall

I'm glad you have a lot of support here

Best

[bimmadude101]

pretty much every day for the past year, id say i have good days where i may get a couple thoughts that i can filter out but on my bad days its many and often makes me feel like im going to have a panic attack. i know i wouldn't act on them but there always is that what if in the back of your mind.

[ConfidentiallyCovert]

So the worse your day is the more frequent and intense those thoughts get? Do you have a lot of anger inside? Or anger towards particular people or peoples?

If you are worried about hurting someone and acting on these thoughts, i’d say just based on what and how you’ve written, that you’re stronger than you give yourself credit for.

I’m assuming you have never seriously hurt anyone physically, if that’s correct it’s proof you have that strength already you just have to keep practicing like you’re currently doing.

As for the panic attacks, do you have a car or pushbike that you can go to somewhere peaceful/quiet to just chill out for a bit.

[giggles]

Hey bimmadude

l completely understand u not wanting to worry ur Mum but sounds like she cares enough to seek help for you.

The Dr is ur first attempt at talking about it socially though l get how difficult that is from my experience. You know what, admitting it to us and yourself is huge. It shows you care enough about urself to seek help.

There is unfortunately no quick fix as much as people think the alcohol etc help distract the honest problem in them we always have a choice what we wish to do. Its ok if something does not work for you but please do not knock something untill u have tried. Keep posting as everyone is sharing something with you.

I am a mum if u were mine l would want u to fight.

Your Dr should advice u perhaps group stuff.

Good luck

Giggles

[bimmadude101]

No not really to much anger all though i struggle opening up to people.

Yes i understand that the thoughts are thoughts and not me. its still something terrible to experience!!

No i mean i played contact sports and got angry here and there but nothing serious. Im really not a fan of violence in general have no interest in gun games and violent movies.

my car is my pride and joy and usually the place i like to go when i want to chill out!!

[bimmadude101]

I did talk to my mum about it last night and seems to have helped me out. She is very caring and a great mum, i just struggle opening up,.

Thats true im planning on trying to talk about it more often and not bottle it up inside so much.

Very true, im not really a big drinker as such and try have a healthy diet and exercise frequently which has helped me out with anxiety more then i expected.

Thank you good to have a mums perspective!!

[ConfidentiallyCovert]

“No not really to much anger all though i struggle opening up to people.” Has this always been the case or was there times in your past you had more ability in opening up?

You mentioned that you have been doing meditation, im interested to hear how you found it? I’ve tried silent sitting meditation and pain from back and hips make me want to stop.

“my car is my pride and joy and usually the place i like to go when i want to chill out!!” Thats awesome you have that feeling with your car bimmadude, do you go anywhere in particular or just like to cruise around?

[BballJ]

Hi bimmadude101,

I am glad you managed to speak to your mum about it, the more you start speaking about it, the easier it will become to talk about it overall. I think letting your psychologist know a little is good but think of it like this. If they knew the whole story they could then work closer with you to try to help you understand why you think this way and hopefully allow you to sort through those feelings. As I said, writing down is a good thing and even just passing that note to the psychologist you are in a way, inadvertently opening up to them and giving them a clear indication of where you are at.

My best,

Jay

[bimmadude101]

Yes, i guess ive always been a shy person but i am trying to work on it!!

I found meditation to be extremely helpful as it just relaxes the mind. Ive done it for the past 3 months id say and am starting to notice that thoughts are easier to let come and go. Id say of you get a sore back/hips try lying down or sitting against something. I really dont think its to much of a worry trying to sit in that classic meditation pose but rather just a comfortable position i find is best.

Yep im a car enthusiast, i have a couple cars and am always working on them which is what i love to do. My driving style really just relies on what mood im in, if im angry i like to take to a few curvy roads where if im just not feeling to great i just cruise around.

[bimmadude101]

I have found since talking to my mum there has been a weight lifted of my shoulders and i am starting to feel much better. i still have the thoughts but have been doing everything i want to do during the day without being disturbed by them to much.

i haven been writing down the thoughts yet as ive been keeping busy lately but when and if they do come back and hit me hard again i will be sure to try this technique.