intrusive thoughts

[bimmadude101]

Hi everyone,

I am a 19 year old male who has now been suffering from intrusive thoughts ocd for close to a year. I approached my gp to referred me to a psychologist who i told about my intrusive thoughts but struggled to open up to about my harm thoughts.

Recently have been seeing this girl who i seem to get regular harm thoughts towards and sometimes self talk in the back of my head saying things like i will kill ect, that freaks me out very much so. Its hard to convince myself that im a good person when im experiencing such terrible thoughts. Does anyone else experience this sort of self talk that randomly occurs? is this just a part of intrusive thoughts?

I have learn't to handle my intrusive thoughts better then what i previously have but i dream of the day they just go away. I have been doing meditation, exercising every day and trying my best to eat healthy... this has significantly improved my anxiety but has has no effect on my intrusive thoughts. which brings me to my next question.

The anxiety has almost nearly disappeared but i still have a frequent amount of intrusive thoughts which is scary becomes it seems as though these thoughts have become normal and not an intrusion anymore. I also have seemed to have developed depression being less motivated and tired from over sleeping.

I have a appointment coming up soon with the physiologist who im thinking about trying to open up with about these harm thoughts ect.

Any advise appreciated.

[BballJ]

Hi bimmadude101,

Firstly, welcome to the forums.

Intrusive thoughts are very tough and they seem to come with some mental health issues, I personally haven't had them myself but can see how they would really make you struggle. I think a good thing here is the fact you know they are there and that they are intrusive and that they do not belong. May I ask, what is it that you think you cannot speak to your psychologist about them? Are you embarrassed or afraid of what they may say? Can I suggest one thing? Maybe writing down what the intrusive thoughts are on a piece of paper and handing that to your psychologist so they can read them and get a better understand of what you are all about, that way they can help you as best as they can.

Please, post back as much as you like, I am always happy to talk.

My best for you,

Jay

[giggles]

Hi Bimmadude

l am alot older than you and have had intrusive thoughts but not to harm anyone else but myself.

Since your young you have an opportunity to learn as much about yourself as you can. Not acting or giving those nasty thoughts light of day as l have done.

Find what works for you and be ok with what does not. Start talking to the right people and be patient l have learnt most of my hang ups are directly related to my high expectation for self. Good to see you are doing meditation.

keep safe and while its been said loads of times in media, change starts with you.

Keep posting

giggles

[geoff]

hello Bimmadude, welcome to the BB forum.

I'm 63 and have had OCD for 58 years, and intrusive thoughts are something that has happened to me awhile ago where I wanted to hurt my dear Mum, that really worried me just as your thoughts do with your girlfriend do, but as soon as Mum was put into a nursing home they stopped.

This is different to your situation, you love her just as I loved my Mum, they don't happen and it's another form of love.

How hard do you squeeze her, when you are excited, too hard so she's out of breath, does the same happen when you hold her hand, it's an extension of how much you care about her, nothing will happen.

The more you think about them the worse they will get.

I would do as Jay has said write them down, do as much as you feel comfortable with and hand it over to your psychologist.

Medication from your doctor will help you with OCD and your depression, as the former is part of the latter in regards to having anxiety. Geoff.

[demonblaster]

Hi bimmadude101 welcome to BB ☺

The intrusive thoughts must be very unsettling and as mentioned its good you're aware they're not how you want to feel

Yes although you mentioned hard to broach this does need to be bought up with your psychologist as well as Bballs good suggestion writing down these thoughts also you might find it easier approaching the subject by printing off this original post.

If you ever feel you'd like to talk one on one with a trained bb worker the no: 24/7... 1300 224636

When the thoughts come in what happens as in are you able to push them aside or think of something else, acknowledge they're not what you want to be thinking etc. Do your thoughts then go back to other stuff or do they keep intruding.

Sorry you go through this

All the best with your next appointment

Be glad to hear from you when you're up to it

Tc

You've done well getting control over anxiety

[bimmadude101]

Thanks for the reply BballJ,

Ive only had two sessions with the physiologist i mentioned some of my intrusive thoughts to him but others i feel ashamed of and also a bad person for having these thoughts... The next session was when i started doing meditation and was feeling better so i wasn't experiencing many intrusive thoughts at all! but as i havent had a session for a couple months i am starting to find myself in a hole again. Writing thoughts down on a piece of paper sounds like a helpful idea also thanks.

[bimmadude101]

Hi giggles,

Thanks for the reply,

Thanks for the advice. Im unsure of who to let know about my intrusive thoughts, ive told my mum and she was the one that booked the appointment for me to the psychologist but i haven't opened up to much to my mum as i dont want her to worry. i really don't have any friends that i would open up to aswell. how do you know who the right people are?

[bimmadude101]

Hi geoff,

Thanks for the reply,

I have the upmost respect for you as a long time ocd sufferer and couldn't imagine how hard it would be.

thank you for the story about your mum!

i am unaware about any medication but might bring it up with the physiologist.

[bimmadude101]

Hi demon Blaster,

Thanks for the reply,

It really just depends on my mood. if im having a bad day i will really struggle with thoughts and also sometimes feelings of im going to have a panic attack (even though ive never had one) i ussually just accept the thoughts are just thoughts and try move on. the only thing is i have that what if in the back of my mind that always scares me. sometmies when im busy i wont experience these thoughts at all. But yes most of the day i will get very scary thoughts.

[ConfidentiallyCovert]

How often do these thought occur? I have very violent imaginings to myself and towards others sometimes although i’d never act on them.