Im really scared about starting a new job. Have i made a terrible mistake?

[Beaser]

Best wishes s to everyone.   I m feeling really terrified at the moment . I did an induction at a new workplace yesterday and i found it so intimidating. I felt like crying and walking out. ive spoken before about not being happy and wanting to change jobs. IM just so scared about what ive done now .  I just want to be happy again ive worked hard all my life im 56 but im starting to feel tired. I m tired from this constant battle of anxiety and depression. Im not sure about where im headed at the moment and im really scared.  I was wondering has anyone felt so lost with things at times. Im really scared at the moment.   My best wiahes to everyone.        Brett 

[jtjt_4862]

Heya Brett,

It's great to hear from you again. Congratulations on your new job! But at the same time, I'm sorry to hear about how you're feeling with your new job at the moment. It can be pretty scary starting a new role; with the whole new environment, and company culture that you have to adapt to. But I believe you'll be just fine. It'll take some time for you to adjust and learn, and once you've familiar yourself with the environment, you'll be alright. Embrace mistakes and keep an open mind to correct/learn from mistakes, as it is part of the journey to becoming better.

If you're into reading or Audible, may I recommend "No more Mr. Nice Guy" by Dr Robert Glover? It was something I came across when I was dealing with people pleasing issues myself. The book gave some pretty good insight on understanding my people-pleasing behavior, and it had helped me a lot in being a better person than where I was before. While the people-pleasing trait won't disappear completely (as it is part of who I am, and I accept that weakness in me), but self-awareness helps, and enables me to practice making decisions to be a better version of myself, and get the life I want.

Hope that helps Brett, happy to hear from you more about what you're up to, and how goes your new work :).

JT

[Beaser]

Hi Jt

Im having a real battle my anxiety got the better of and i had to put it off. Im really scared about what is next for me . I seen my Dr this morning and he wants me to have a break for a couple of weeks . He even spoke about a disability pension. I just dont know where to turn with all this.       Brett.  

[Petal22]

Hi Brett,

Thats ok 😊

I wanted to ask you if you have done any type of real therapy for your anxiety?

Brett I understand that anxiety is difficult to deal with and yes it can try to get the better of us.

But you have the power within you Brett to learn how to manage your anxiety and not allow it to push you around anymore.

I did an 8 week group therapy for the severe anxiety OCD that I was going through it gave me so many tools and I learned to master it.

Im not saying you have OCD but I think if I can master my OCD and no longer have severe anxiety or even anxiety I believe that you can learn to master what you are going through Brett, you just need to be put on the correct path.

You may be 56 but that doesn’t mean a thing you still can live your best life no matter your age.

[jaz28]

Hi Brett,

Yes I remember your posts. I am sorry you have been struggling! Just remember though that every workplace is scary for the first time. CHANGE can be uncomfortable, even if it is a good change because you are leaving a comfort zone and a sense of knowing what to expect. Starting a new job is overwhelming!

My advice would be to try your best to power through it, and in a few weeks/months you will start to find your feet and settle into your new workplace and a new routine. I really hope that this job is better than your last - you deserve it! You just have to give it a chance.

Please reach out again if you need,

Jaz xx

[Eagle Ray]

Dear Brett,

If you are having that couple of weeks break, I think take it as easy as possible and see what emerges from your intuition about the best way to move forward. Do some things you really enjoy if you can where you are not even thinking about work. I went whale watching recently and it was such a great circuit breaker. Sometimes letting go of everything and just being absorbed in an immersive experience allows us to reset and then approach life situations with a fresh perspective. Often subconsciously we know how to move forward, but it’s just finding a way to listen within ourselves to sense what is right for us.

 I’m currently with a disability employment agency but not on a disability support pension. The woman I meet with suggested the pension at the first two meetings. I’ve been resisting as I’m torn between the benefits of work and the fact I have fairly serious health issues.

Only you can possibly know what is right for you, and it’s important to honour what is best for your well-being. If you did go on disability support it doesn’t have to be forever. You might be able to do some volunteer work that eases you back into something that really interests you and feels like the right fit. If you stay on a disability pension there is no shame in that either. It sounds like you’ve been in the workforce many years.

On the other hand, the workplace can provide things such as a sense of purpose and identity and if it’s a good workplace a sense of community and belonging. Those things can be really helpful for well-being.

Are you able to ask yourself, ‘what do I need right now?’, and then even write those things down to clarify what those needs might be. Anxiety can have a way of panicking us and scattering our thoughts, but sometimes grounding ourselves in what our bodies need to feel more comfortable and our minds need to feel more peaceful can help to settled the scattered and panicky feelings.

You could perhaps also see if you can identify what was setting off anxiety for you in your new job situation. Perhaps even try and write those things down. Sometimes writing it down can help us to feel anxious thoughts are not controlling us if we can look at what they are and see where they’re coming from.

Hope that might help and take care of yourself.

[Beaser]

Hi and thanks Petal.    I always appreciate hearing from you.  I have just  started a course online through the mindspot clinic ,you may have heard of them if you felt like it there website is.worth a look. Its a self paced thing and you have a personal mentor along the way. I just feel everwhelmed at the the moment  I wish it wasnt this way.   Thank you again Petal        From Brett.

[Beaser]

Thank you JT     I really appreciate your reply ans support.       Brett,

[Beaser]

Thanks Eagle Ray.        I really appreciate your reply and thoughts put into it. Its just hard to get on top of things at the moment.    Kind thoughts    brett.

[jtjt_4862]

Heya Brett,

It's okay to be scared of the unknown, and it's also ok to call out on what you fear too. If you feel a couple of weeks of break would help you, then go for it. I'm not familiar with disability pension, but you could also look into that as an alternative too. You choose what you feel is best for yourself, and that's a great starting point for working on improving yourself out of people-pleasing. Life Eagle Ray mentioned, only within ourselves do we know what is right for us. In our lives, the most important thing, and one that matters the most above everything else, is ourselves. It can be a hard concept to grasp, especially when we've been conditioned by our years of life experiences that made us people-pleasers. But you can practice by doing small things for yourself, and things that brings you, and only you, joy and happiness. Make small decisions for yourself such as "I will go for a walk today" or, "I'm going to have a nice dinner tonight". Get into the habit of deciding things for yourself, and asking yourself "What do I want?". And from there, you'll begin to build confidence for yourself. Confidence is not about knowing how to do a certain thing, but it is about knowing that regardless of the outcome of your actions, you'll be able to take accountability of it, and be alright. 

If you need a place to voice out what is it that you fear in "what is next for me", I'm happy to listen to ya. 

JT

[Beaser]

Thanks Jt.     

I am going to take at least a couple of weeks off and forget about work. Im going to try and set myself to do some small tasks , things like house work gardening etc  I now feel i rushed into things too much  and should have waited before jumping into looking for new work. Your right about small decisions as they are the things that in times like this make a difference. And yes i need i need to make decisions on my instincts and not ones that will please others ..    

You and others on these forums are great value for people like me.  Thanks JT