I worry about the effect that my anxiety has on my children and husband

[Motheroftwo]

Hello

About 6 weeks ago I started having panic attacks again. I did 4 years ago and ended up depressed because I didn't know my symptoms were anxiety to treat. I straight away went to the GP for a mental health care plan, mess and a referral to a psychologist. The first week or so was tough, but things improved and I was feeling better.

But just this last week I have had bad toothache and have started antibiotics, but have been in quite a bit of pain. I have two kids at home on school holidays so it has made it a bit tricky to want to get up and do anything. I haven't had any counselling for 2 weeks because of school hols.

Last night I had another panic attack, the first I'd had in a while. I feel terrible - I thought I was on the mend! The attack was partially triggered by worrying about an upcoming event, and also worrying that I'm feeling flat.

Today I am on my own at home and have just been crying. I feel like a burden. My husband doesn't understand what I am going through. Can I be getting depressed after previously feeling good?

I worry about the effect that my anxiety and/or depression has on my children and husband. I think my eldest picks up on when I am not feeling ok. And then I worry for them.

Does anyone have any advice to share?

Thanks.

[Ace6913]

Hi motheroftwo 😄

welcome to the forums and thanks for sharing I know what it's like to get to a stage where you need advice from people who really get this illness I have health anxiety and I am a mother of 3 with number 4 on the way so I know all about the days where you just want to curl up in bed and just cry 😔 holidays have been really tough on me as well with the guilt of not getting out and about I've really had to push myself the last couple of days. I think you are on the right track with the mental health plan Im currently doing cognitive therapy and it has helped so much .ive had to be honest with my eldest she is 10 I just explain why I am sad and repeat all the time it is not there fault I do this because my hubby is Fifo so is rarely home and we have to all work as a team when his not here my youngest ones they sort of get it but on my off days I try to do a lot of positve self talk and really take care of myself even if it's a quick 5 min bath or try and do something you really love if you can do this at least 10 mins a day it makes all the difference . I just want you to know your not alone I to feel like a burden on my family but I try to stay honest and express my feelings even as silly as they sound my hubby doesn't get it but he knows alls he has to do is listen and just reassure me that everything is ok 😄I hope I've helped even just alittle bit x

[Motheroftwo]

Hello Ace6913

Thank you for your fast reply. Anxiety sucks so much. My first time round with anxiety 4 years ago started with health anxiety. I've learned not to google symptoms, but unfortunately anxiety is back without any particular cause.

My eldest is 10. She has shown signs of anxiety in the past, which makes me worry and feel guilty. I did wonder if I should explain how I am feeling, but I don't want her to worry about me. I don't know what to do. Both my kids are at school now so I have to try to find something to do with my life. I've spent so long being a full-time mum, I feel like I've lost myself a bit. My family all have issues as well, so I've got an overwhelming sense of being on my own, being unsupported. I wish my husband had more patience for me when I'm unwell. I think it scares it. It scares me. Are you on meds, if you don't mind me asking? Do they help you?

[Ace6913]

Don't mind at all no not on meds now because about the time I got my anxiety back we were trying for Bub wich made things alittle tricky when we conceived because I was absolutely determined for the anxiety not to rule my life . I to had my first symptoms about 5 yrs ago now I had found a lump in my neck and I just catatrophised the whole situation and had talked myself into cancer then once I had everything checked with an all clear the anxiety symptoms started choking feeling pains the chest I seriously thought yep I'm going to die but I found a good doctor and had some meds I can't even remember what they were I know I had a small dose of Valium and yes is was great settled me down straight away and I carried on with life but I never did the therapy well 5 yrs on it comes back so I really think therapy is crucial just so you can educate yourself on what anxiety really is and the core of where it comes from trust me there are days where I feel like I need to plead with my gp for meds but I can't right now but I have more good days then bad and on those bad days you just have to be really kind to yourself because the way we talk to ourselves impacts our feelings so much. Go back to your doctors and ask about meds the more you educate yourself the more you will feel in control of what is happening even have that talk with your psychologist . Maybe have the chat with hubby about how your feeling and let him know alls he needs to do is listen and reassure the more support you can find the better and you definetly find it on here 😄 also ask your doctor about your 10 yr old and ways on explaining it to the little ones I wasn't sure if I was doing the right thing but as you know its a hard thing to hide its just important that they know it's got nothing to do with them 😄you will get through this we all will .