I think I am suffering anxiety

[Alexander]

I am a middle aged male in a happy home environment. My youngest daughter last year experienced an event related to vomiting (a gear of) that led to her rapidly losing weight and displaying a range of really weird behaviours ranging from scratching her skin to saying she just wanted to die. This culminated in her being admitted to hospital to be refed via a naso gastric tube. Since then she has gained weight but there are still a whole range of anxious behaviours continuing. 

At the start of the school year she has made it very difficult for us to get her to school. She says she likes the school but comes up with many reasons why she can't go. This revolves around her stomach and the sick feelings she gets. We have been seeing a group therapy team since she left hospital which has been helpful but there still seems to be so much unresolved business.

This experience has left me feeling very distressed and unsure what the future will bring. I work a high pressure job but I am now constantly worried about what the future looks like because I can't see past the problems we are currently experiencing. I feel I cannot be an effective father because I get unreasonable angry when my daughter won't conform to what I see as a normal behaviour such as getting up and going to school. I know we have to deal with this but in the meantime I feel like my usually strong character is dissolving me into an anxious person. I have seen a psychologist and occasionally take a half a relaxation tablet. I have lightened up my professional workload but I still feel vulnerable and as a result, I am worried what the future will bring

[Alexander]

Thanks Mary1

It brought tears to my eyes thinking someone is sensitive to my issues apart from my family. I feel caught between a rock and a hard place regarding going off the meds. I think I agree with you in that I should stay on them but maybe I suffering side effects that will subside and Ill be in a better place after staying off. At the moment I dont think so. I have tapered off the meds for 2 weeks and have not had them for 2 more. I was on a pretty low dose anyway so I thought it would be a walk in the park going off them. If I go back on them when do I go off them in the future? I would love advice from people who are going through a similar situation to me or advice from anyone who has something to say. I hate this feeling in the pit of my stomach and the spacey feeling I have in my head. I feel like crying a lot of the time and dont really know why because things are improving slowly with my daughter. However, I know I shouldnt look into the future but it could take years for her to get back to the level we had her at a few years ago.