I really need advice. It’s all too much.

[Tori_nawec]

It’s a long read.. but I’d appreciate anyone’s help.

Two months ago, while at work, all of a sudden I felt so short of breath, my chest/shoulders were tight and my head was spinning. no history of mental illness or really no clue what an anxiety symptoms were, i thought i was dying. I left work immediately to try and sleep it off. It didn’t get any better, so off I went to the doctor with extremely high heart rate, and I couldn’t breathe. Emergency Room it was for me. I had two ecg’s, blood tests, chest X-ray, and left with discharge papers saying “Anxiety reaction” .. the first month was HORRIBLE. I laid in bed 24 hrs a day. I hardly ate. (Lost 10kgs) I was too fragile/scared to even walk down my stairs. It’s the worst thing I’ve been through being in constant fear if something will happen to you.

i saw a psychologist. currently 3 sessions in. She is helping me to come to terms with it all. But my symptoms are very on and off and it’s so hard to deal with. My main symptom that started all of this, was my shortness of breath and something I really can’t get over, in two months, my breathing is the same, and tbh it’s becoming normal to me to not be able to breathe

I genuinely feel like my shortness of breath gives me anxiety, and I almost get anxious about getting anxiety symptoms. Sounds a little dumb.

I went back to work today for three hours. It was a STRUGGLE. And has taken me all day to feel semi ok. My coping mechanism is literally to lay in bed.

Im trying to eat and sleep better, exercise more, but I just feel so OVERWHELMED when I’m around people. Like everything is going so fast around me but I’m just, there. The shops, work, around a lot of family at a time, I just wanna go home. (I live alone)

I just want to know if anyone has a similar story with their feelings and symptoms :

- shortness of breath/ tight chest when trying to inhale deep. It’s resulted in me having pain under my left collarbone/shoulder when I take a deep breath anytime now cos I feel like I’m trying to do it all the time but I can’t help it. I just have the urge.. my breathing is the main issue for my anxious feelings!! I feel like I want to break my collarbones just to get a deep breath sometimes. (calm breathing just doesn’t do it for me?)

- dizziness, blurry eyes, dry eyes, headaches, unmotivated, tired all the time, denial, feeling like something is medically wrong still. Can’t concentrate.

I’ve also been thinking about medicine.. Maybe it’ll help me get through the day.

[YellowPoppy]

Hey,

It's the only way I've been able to describe how I feel to my mum and boyfriend.

I never know how I feel, like I feel things throughout the day and if I think about it or try to express or describe it I can't. Which terrifies me so I stop thinking about it.

I wish you could too, I'd post photos of my dog.

Hope you've had a good sleep.

[Tori_nawec]

It’s so great you have your boyfriend and mum for support!

i can relate, though. For the first month after my first anxiety attack, every time I was asked by anyone “how are you feeling?” I would spiral into an anxious mess. I couldn’t handle it. It’s hard to face the feelings! I try to hide how I feel a lot of the time too which is a big internal battle 😞 even now I don’t like being asked face to face especially by my family how I’m feeling, because truth is I can’t really explain it..

hope you had a good day 🙂

Tori

[YellowPoppy]

Hey,

It sucks that you don't have any immediate support.

I can handle my mum or boyfriend asking me face to face cause I can answer honestly and they don't expect me to have an answer and I don't feel embarrassed to cry in front of them. But if anyone else we're to ask I'd shrug and change the subject.

How was today for you?

YP

[Tori_nawec]

It’s kind of personal choice, I really prefer to deal with things by myself. Although I wish I could just cry and spill out how I feel to loved ones. But I can do that with my psychologist cause I know there’s no judging I guess..

today was a better day. I ate properly and went for a nice walk! tried to practice some calm breathing aswell. I’m just so over my chest being tight all the time..

how was your day

x

[YellowPoppy]

It was okay for the most part... I was really unsettled and anxious in the evening and of course that made me nauseas,. But managed to eat a bit and sleep okay.
Hope the tightness eases up!

I have my second psych appointment today so hopefully I'll feel even better afterward.

Hope today is as good as yesterday.

[Tori_nawec]

Hey;

i hope your pysch appt went well! 🙂

I always feel so much better after mine, if only they weren’t so expensive I’d do it everyday!

[YellowPoppy]

Hey,

Thanks, I feel better after them too.
I've only had 2 so far but I feel like I've gotten so much better since the first session.

I'm glad they help you out too.
I was also able to go to a store and look around while my mum went shopping at the supermarket so that's a massive step for me.

I really hope m your symptoms ease up a bit soon.

Talk later

YP

[YellowPoppy]

Hey, haven't heard from you yet... Hope you're okay!

[Tori_nawec]

Hey,

sorry I’ve been MIA. had a hectic weekend of birthdays and mother’s day so my anxiety has been really peaking.

saw the pysch today and just can’t get rid of these anxious feelings tonight. 😞

how have you been doing ?

Tori

[YellowPoppy]

Hey, that's alright!

Sorry that you've had such an anxious weekend... I spent my weekend at my mums work with her cause I didn't want o be alone. Doing that again tomorrow.

And my boyfriend go to queensland this weekend, not looking forward to sleeping alone.

So I've been okay, but I'm also not challenging my anxiety right now and I know need to.

Keep in touch when you can and so apology necessary when you go MIA.

YP