I’m so horribly unattractive

[PsychedelicFur]

I’m so horribly unattractive.

my toxic ex told me I was a ‘6/10’ and ‘plus size’ and embarrassing looking. That is why he showed me photos of other women in bikinis.

I’m that unattractive that he lost interest in me and started treating me like garbage. I know deep and meaningful relationships are not based off looks but he made me believe that I wasn’t very good looking. Even though I have had people, strangers come up to me, hundreds of time and compliment my eccentric clothing or my long wavy ginger hair.

he said to me once ‘you’re looks don’t matter anyway because you are only a 6/10.’

I’m starting to believe what he said about me. ☹️😢😭 please give some suggestions or advice.

many thanks,

lots of love,

PF.

[missep123]

Hi!

I'm so glad that you are doing a lot better! I really like that quote. Creating art through drawing and painting sounds very therapeutic in itself!

I have been well thank you for asking! 🙂

[Guest_1643]

great job PF

you've overcome a very big days including his birthday and keep strong and optimistic

I have a lot of issues with how I look also

I read diaries I wrote where I thought i was pretty and okay and at the moment I don't feel that way

Glad u've been feeling better. What have you been up to?
i've been binging terrible television, like How I met your Mother, Friends, and Frasier.
:)

[PsychedelicFur]

I love that you are binge watching bad television programs like How I Met Your Mother.. fabulous!!! sounds like a good distraction from bad, intrusive thoughts. My deepest sympathies go to you. I don’t know the full capacity of how you must be feeling but I do have some idea. I understand. Because I’m going through something quite similar.

How ARE YOU? Really?

My body dysmorphic disorder is flaring up today. Just wanted to say hello. And I hope you are all well.

Sending hugs to anyone who needs them.

Yesterday and today have been difficult days for my intrusive thoughts, appearance wise.

Sending good vibes and lots of hot tea and yummy food your way!!

PF

[jumpyjellyfish-]

hey PF 🙂

Sorry I haven't been here for a bit I've been on and off the forums

Hopefully you're ok managing those thoughts. I'm sorry it's been tough but I know you can work past them. You are so strong xx 🙂 Hopefully today is better 🙂

Whenever that annoying talkative voice of your body dysmorphia tries to talk down to you btw, are you able to talk back to it? Tell it 'mhm... ok THANK YOU FOR YOUR OPINION BUT IM GOOD'.

I know sometimes even when ya say things like that that voice tries to sneak it's way back but at least it can be helpful to challenge your negative thoughts. You got this 🙂

Sending hugs and good vibes to you too 🙂

[PsychedelicFur]

Sick of the way my negative intrusive thoughts take over my day. I know I am in control of my thoughts but some of these thoughts are so overwhelming and so so very toxic.

[jumpyjellyfish-]

I'm sorry your thoughts have been so overwhelming 😞 I can feel your frustration when it comes to your intrusive thoughts taking over because a lot of the time even though our thoughts are in our control mostly, intrusive thoughts and thoughts in general are pretty automatic. I mean to say, unlike talking where you can (arguably most of the time) think about something before you voice it, you can't think a thought through before you think it. Kinda confusing. But it's something to consider 🙂

The thoughts you're having aren't you fault, but you have every right not to accept them and watch them pass by. I know how easy that is to say - I feel hypocritical for saying that because it's so difficult sometimes not to latch onto those negative thoughts - but I just want you to know that in no way are you responsible for generating those thoughts - only the response.

You are worth so so much more than your negative thoughts - and don't let them tell you otherwise.

Take care xx

[PsychedelicFur]

How are you going Jumpy Jellyfish :-]? Hope you are well. Sending hugs to you!!

thank you for your response. You are very insightful.

Since leaving that bad relationship I feel so drained but also relieved.. and also very on edge. And I have a low self esteem now. I did dress up nicely earlier this week and today for uni. And that was good. But at the moment I’m not coping with my thoughts. It really is overwhelming.

[jumpyjellyfish-]

I'm pretty good. Went and had a picnic with some friends today 🙂 Fun! Coping with some guilt afterwards was ehhh but it was ok. Great to catch up anyways 🙂

That's great you can dress up for uni! I'm glad that was good, hopefully it boosted your confidence 🙂 How often are you at uni? If that's been making you feel better, it would be great if you could keep doing that for yourself and feeling good 🙂

I understand how draining it would be for you - and that things are really overwhelming. I'm here for you xx You are working through something which is really difficult and are doing amazingly 🙂 There are gonna be times like now when it's hard to cope but once you get through them you will come out so much stronger. Feeling relief from leaving your toxic relationship is the first step towards feeling better - and slowly but surely you will come to rebuild your self esteem and sense of self worth 🙂

Hopefully tonight you can try give yourself a break from those thoughts. Is there something you can do - something relaxing maybe - for yourself? You deserve to do something for you ❤️ look after yourself 🙂

[PsychedelicFur]

Hello again, that is wonderful that you had a lovely picnic with your friends. I’m so glad to hear that you had a nice time!! Well done for doing something lovely for yourself, definitely well deserved. xx

I hope you are doing well with everything. What other self care things have you done today?

You are so insightful, yet again.

This is my first year of university as I graduated secondary school last year. And I go four times a week. I am currently studying my first year of journalism. I really like university. It is a get away from home, and the train ride is genuinely therapeutic and I can get work done.

My toxic partner really changed my perspective on things. Before I got with him I was so confident and felt powerful and liberated. And I thought, at the time I was in a correct headspace for a relationship.

Wishing you the best,

PF.

[Croix]

Dear PsF~

I think it would be more accurate to say

"My toxic partner really skewed my perspective on things". In all probability you were and remain a confident and powerful and liberated person, a pity you can't quite see that at the moment, however to others looking at your words it shines though.

The fact you are enjoying your first semester goes a long way to confirm this. Many do not enjoy it and either plug on because they have no choice or simply give a token effort and eventually disappear (I used to be able to identify those that would succeed quite easily as I taught Uni for many years)

Despite the onerous situations you have faced you are becoming a formidable person, one well worth knowing. I'm glad you like the train journey, though sometimes it can be wasted on work when that endless panorama of lives and interests stream by.

As a small boy I used to travel from London to North Wales by myself - a different era - and never got bored, imagination spurred on by the vistas scrolling past my window kept me well occupied. My favorite mode of travel still.

Do you have time to leven your studies with art? If so may I ask your medium of choice and favorite subjects?

Croix