I'm not coping and it's not getting better what should I do?

[Meliss]

So I'll try keep it short.

Start of year I had a workplace altercation that wasn't my fault. My employer Still want to get rid of Me but I put in a workcover claim as I was attacked verbally and physically which has caused me to see a psych. The process so far has taken 8 months.

Since being in lockdown I have struggled. I've gone from working before the incident to not being able to work and we are living on one wage.

I have panic attacks and am convinced that I'll never get another job and I'll die. I've also been very anxious about the vaccine.

I was supposed to be married and that has been postponed more times than i can count on one hand due to covid.

And now I'm worried I'm pregnant. I've been exercising. I never exercised at all and now I've gone from 0km a week to 30km or more in the last 6 weeks as I've been walking 5-6 days a week instead of sedentary. And now I'm late. We don't want a baby at this time.

So I don't know if I'm late due to pregnancy, the panic attacks I've been having or the new exercise regimen.

What should I do to reduce the stress it's all becoming too much and I'm terrified to take a pregnancy test. How do I deal with the anxiety it sucks and I'm fed up

[geoff]

Hello Meliss, I'm sorry you have a work claim in the process, it always makes someone feel unsteady because you never know what the final decision will be, but if you've been verbally and physically attacked then that is certainly no good.

Have you been able to keep notes on all of these altercations, times, days and why they have happened, all of this will help you and please don't discard any of them, hold on to them?

These lockdowns would have caused many problems for weddings and funerals and make your decision very difficult to know what to do, especially when a great deal of money has been involved in organising the event.

If you think you may be pregnant, in the early days, and don't feel as though you're ready for this, then talk to your doctor, but I'm sorry you need to do the test, you might be worrying over nothing and that the stress/anxiety you are under maybe the reason you might be late, once you know then you can decide on what you want to do.

Ask your doctor once again, that the reason you need to see a psychologist is because of what's been happening at work, to justify that you don't have to pay the fees, so they will file a report to workcover and then to the psychologist who charges w/c.

Let us know how you get on.

Thanks.

Geoff.

[Pip20]

Hi Meliss,

Wow, I am truly sorry you are going through all of this. I can relate to the anxiety feeling.

When if your next psychologist session, I think you may need the help to break up your thoughts into smaller thoughts/items so you are not so overwhelmed, that is what I am trying to do - not always successful, but I try.

Running is a good thing, I wish I could do that (busted netball knees don't help me with that) - use that time to listen to music not think, I know that is hard, but seeing as you are already moving, focus on your body and music. I go and water my garden, weed etc to try and get movement and just be outside away from my desk.

Your job - once again I truly sorry to hear about this, no one should have to go through that, can you contact Workcover to see where you claim is at, as this will help get some clarity. As for getting a job in the future, focus on getting better first, I know it's hard, and financially a strain, I've been there too over the last 18 months. I think if you can push to get your case resolved and get the support that will help with your anxiety over that.

Pregnancy - I really think your psychologist is someone you need to turn to, or your GP, in this case.

Once again I feel your pain, we are here if you need us.

[Gabs_]

Hello Meliss,

I'm really sorry to hear what you are going through. Please know I'm sending you a big virtual hug.

I've gone through something similar (although not to the extent you have), and it's tough. You give a lot to an organisation and they don't have your back. You're just a number and a problem that they don't want to deal with. That was the hardest bit for me, it was a gut punch and I realised that HR wasn't there to protect me, they protect the organisation. And it's devastating.

I'm also going through a claims process and it's been going since May...they make it hard every step of the way. I've recently engaged a lawyer (no win, no fee - but a reputable one, not a small time one) to take the pressure and anxiety off me. That's really helped me. I'm not sure if that is something you'd like to consider, but it has really reduced my anxiety.

Additionally.... I hear you re the one income. My medical team has advised me not to work for at least another year. And it is something I struggle with. I've gone from a really good salary to receiving centrelink, and it can feel disheartening. I find it uncomfortable having to rely on my partner for things,but the best way through is communicating and setting up a budget.

It's understandable that all these things are fuelling your anxiety. Have you spoken to your psych about this? Have you considered going on medication to help ease the anxiety? I know sertraline is safe for during pregnancy (if you are or if you plan to in future).

It sounds like you are feeling like you are losing control of things, so you're using exercise as a coping strategy (something you can control). I know for me, when I've had periods of anxiety, I've used food restriction as a coping mechanism. It's a safety behaviour - unfortunately, extreme exercise is not a healthy safety behaviour...can you try and set yourself a limit for each day?

I've posted a link here that will take you to some good resources on anxiety and worry and rumination - I've used these resources myself: https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/Resources/Looking-After-Yourself

Take a deep breath. You will get another job. But right now, you need to focus on you and heal from what was a traumatic experience.

Re the pregnancy test - either way, it will not the end of the world and there are options. But the best thing is to have your partner there with you, so you have the support you need for the result.

I know it feels hard. But you can get through this.

G x

[MikeSydney]

Just remember that the job is just a job. They can terminate you anytime. They may even want other workers to bully you so you resign if they want you out of the company. You need to be looking at other jobs and get out of there as it will wear you down working with these toxic people. Some people will do anything that makes them feel more secure in their job.