2021 Lost my mind and will how to get through

[Brenno_the_Dawg]

Hi Everybody,

I started this year getting dizzy spells daily and being a google doc I went to the gp with the thought I had Vertigo. He sent me to a ent specialist who told me I didn’t. Driving a truck for a living I needed to find out the problem asap as it was starting to get dangerous for me to be on the road. I had another doctor when went back to the gp and after listening to my symptoms put me on antidepressants and said they would start working after 4 to 6 weeks. After a week the dizzy spells were starting to subside and we’re all gone by the 3week mark. After the 6th week it was like a fog had been lifted from my head and I could see my life to this date clearly( Anybody had this?) and starting studying anxiety symptoms etc. After a life of paranoia,mistrust and self medication I thought now I would be able to see a way forward.. Big Mistake, I have been in a slow decline to now,depression , stronger thoughts of mistrust and anxiety. I have a business in debt, limited friends who I find hard to trust and my father passed away from dementia in October. After a shitlife due to a undiagnosed mental heath problem, ongoing alcohol and drug addiction and the death of my father I am finding it Very hard to go on or finding the will to live. I have a meeting with a Mental health group on Tuesday so hoping it will help..any stories of how you got through the hard times would help.
Thanks🙂

[Annas1]

Hello Brenno,

thanks for sharing your story and being so open about how anxiety has affected you and you have struggled in the past. I'm also sorry to hear about your father, and can understand what it is like to lose a parent who has dementia. These are both major challenges in your life and you should be as kind to yourself as you can. Particularly at the moment as your father's death is very recent.

What comes through to me Brenno is your strength and persistence. To go so long without the needed support takes such effort and self-reliance. Now, through opening up and seeking support you are finding the validation and treatment that is helping your recovery. Bravo! I'm so pleased to hear that you are having such clear success with your treatment. It's really encouraging for others to learn that there is a biological factor in much mental illness which with the right treatment together with psychological support can help us build toward a more stable and rewarding life.

So, give yourself and your mind/body the time it needs to 'recalibrate'. There is no rush where good health is concerned. The opportunity to build relationships will unfold naturally in time. The better you feel in yourself, the more you will seek out these opportunities. Look now to your future, we all make mistakes and let opportunities pass us by. But opportunities continue to arise - that's the wonderful thing about life.

I hope you enjoy the support group that 's coming up - I have thought for a long time that it's support from peers and allies that makes all the difference in how we approach and manage our mental ill-health. It helps us feel less alone, provides some perspective and offers unconditional acceptance. All pure gold.

Go well Brenno.

[Brenno_the_Dawg]

Thanks for the kind words and support Annas1, hopefully the mental health crew and plan will help as I am not in a good space at the moment. Can’t see we’re the quality of life will come from now and into the future. Your advice is well taken and will look back on it when needed,Thankyou

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Brenno,

A very warm and caring welcome to our forums l.

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your beautiful father...My deepest and sincere condolences..

Sometimes our meds needs adjusting for us to get the full benefit out them, and I hope you don’t mind if I gently urge you to speak to your Dr, about how your depression is slowly on the decline...

I also hope that your meeting with your mental health team goes really well for you, and you do benefit greatly for having them their to help you manage your mental health...

To answer your last Question...You’ve probably heard this before, but it works most times for me to get out of my head....Distraction...which is basically once your head seems to be taking over with unhealthy thoughts..it’s time to distract those thoughts onto something that we like and can fully concentrate on....Music, is a good one, hobbies you like, singing out loud along with your favourite song, gardening...anything that diverts your thoughts away from mh and onto something else...

I hope tomorrow goes good for you dear Breeno, and you begin your journey towards wellness..,

hoping you will come back and let us know how you go tomorrow, but no pressure..only when you feel up to it...

I wish you well...with kind and caring thoughts..

Grandy,,,,

[Annas1]

Hi to you both - Brenno and Grandy,

I agree with Grandy that treating yourself kindly and with gentleness is what you need right now. It can be really hard to do this for ourselves, but sometimes imagining we are our own best friend and need to act as a friend would can help adjust our attitude towards ourselves.

Can you think of something or someone that you value and care for/about even in this really tough time? When I'm feeling really low it helps me to reflect on the fact that I fundamentally do like myself and that my motivations/actions usually come from a place of good intent. These are the kinds of thoughts I use to ground my decision to care for myself when life is tough. I also have interests that give me enjoyment or satisfaction that I can look forward to even if I don't feel like doing them when feeling low.

It also sounds like you have a number of life pressures that are adding extra burdens to your sense of well-being. You mentioned a business debt which I imagine is very stressful. Many self-employed people/small business owners have financial pressures that can take a toll on their mental health. Have you considered financial counselling to help manage this issue? My understanding is that https://www.financialcounsellingaustralia.org.au/our-work/national-debt-helpline/ is a great place to start. They can refer you to local organisations that help make a plan to manage debts, including securing grace periods from utilities and banks if appropriate. You don't have to manage this on your own. There is help available.

Happy to keep up the conversation Brenno.

Take care

[Petal22]

Hi Brenno the Dawg,

Wellcome to our forums!

Im so sorry you are feeling this way.

Im sorry to hear of your father’s passing.

I understand the google doc I used to do this aswell it was the biggest mistake I ever made because it made my anxiety a lot worse!

I no longer do this after realising in therapy it was compulsion of mine.

I had severe anxiety OCD but I’ve now recovered thanks to the help I received from health professionals…

I hope all goes well with your mental health group.

Did you do a mental health plan with your gp? This will enable you to see a psychologist who can give you many strategies for anxiety.

Im sorry to hear of your drug and alcohol addiction I understand this can be difficult to deal with.

Hang in there, things will get better.

[BeADodo]

Hi there,
Just on the dizziness point, what were you doing when you got dizzy out of curiosity??

I do/used to get dizzy, mostly when I stood up. I got tested for many of the common causes (inner ear, blood pressure etc), and in the end the specialist said she thought it was my sympathetic nervous system and they put me on anti depressants that would ‘smooth’ the process of sitting to standing out… it definitely worked after the first month or so on the anti depressants to stop the dizziness for me (I’d had dizziness for 2 years). I also had anxiety, so those pills helped me there too.

Going off the pills though (9 years later), caused more dizziness than I remembered having before, so I had to slowly go off them (took 6 months). I narrowed down what causes my dizziness to hydration and my eyes because I don’t get dizzy if I stand with my eyes shut lol. So strange.

The quote from Winston Churchill ‘if you’re going through hell, keep going’ really helped me through a lot of times. I have it right at my bedroom door.

You sound like you’ve been through a lot this year, not even considering it being a covid year, you need to tell yourself you can cut yourself some slack. I often have to tell myself that cos I feel pressured to be a certain way.

all the best!