I Lost My Job - Appreciate Advice

[GC-435_m]

Hello, I am new to the forum and to asking for help and advice.

I lost my job a month ago. I spent nearly 3 years there, it had its ups and downs as there was a toxic undercurrent within the company and the older team that surfaced every now and then. Progression of new things was slow due to higher up management. I realized early on that the negativity could affect me greatly as I am empathic and introvert (bottle things up), and that my supervisor was the main contributor to the issues and anger at work, but I was confident I could deal with it and was enticed to stay as my manager had plans to make the farm stand out and evolve with the old team eventually retiring in the next few years.

Unfortunately due to a variety of things in and out of work I became very stressed and showing signs of anxiety. Didn't know it at the time, but having time now to analyze things, I realize that that is what happened. I stopped looking after myself, bottled everything up and kept absorbing the negativity other people were carrying. I was in a fog, going through the motions, zooming everywhere and not being able to stop and realize what was happening even though I was living it. I got sick and had tight gut feelings even thinking about work, and stopped eating properly. I felt alone, and when I was at work especially around others I felt I was walking on eggshells, while trying to figure out what I was doing to upset them.

I didn't know how to quit my job, nor how to help myself or ask for it. I know I'm not entirely responsible for what happened and I am upset that they didn't own up to their part in it and that I wasn't supported, especially since some of them were supposedly my friends, I was a great worker and they are a 'well being' company. 

I spent the last few weeks on and off stressing about getting an job and my stress and anxiety following me. I am making some progress as I have been trying out what I've been researching - how to manage them in different ways, it is a struggle though.  Smiling feels strange too.

I'd appreciate any advice on what you use or what tricks you have created to help deal with stress and anxiety, or in building confidence or even how to heal from what I just went through. How can I start a job while dealing with this?

Thank you for your time

[Bob_22]

Hi GC,

Welcome to the forums and thank you for sharing your story. I'm sorry you went through what you did at work and ended up leaving your job. It sounds like you have been suffering from a lot of stress and anxiety which is very common amongst people in high pressure situations. It is good that you have recognised that. In terms of next steps, the best thing to do would be to recognise your issues and seek professional help. You can see your GP and explain exactly what you have here and ask for a referral to a psychologist. They can help you with strategies to manage stress and anxiety as well as a range of things. I have attached some more information about anxiety here: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/mental-health/anxiety 

In terms of tips on managing anxiety there are a range of things you could do including meditation, journalling, breathing exercises and many more. Here are 10 listed here: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/mental-health/anxiety/treatments-for-anxiety/anxiety-management-strate... 

I hope this helps a little bit. Keep us posted on how you're going and all the best with the job hunt.

Bob

[GC-435_m]

Hello Bob

Sorry about the delay in getting back to you. I read your reply then started trying different things to get back to the positive me, in between job hunting.

Thank you for the links and tips they have been helping. I think right now my lack of socialness is the biggest issue so I have been starting to go to dog parks I can meet people. I have also made a list of volunteering, free events and classes I'm going to look at applying for. 

I had one session with a professional and have found a job/life coach to assist in evolving my thought process and career direction. So far, I have discovered more about why I burnt out, and that i have been blaming myself for other people's mistakes, decisions and how they treated me. I have also discovered what I need from my future employer/s (environment type, values, interaction, interests, etc). 

I found some apps that are advertised on Head to Health website and found them to be helpful in meditation, thinking, and organizing. They also have free digital workshops I haven't tried yet. 

Apart from that I have been trying to stay scheduled throughout the day and have been going out for walks to reconnect with nature and have been trying a book called 365 days of Creativity. It contains small activities anyone can do. 

My main worries at the moment are my draining bank account, finding work, and my long list of things that have to be done. I find picking one main thing on the list that has to be done that day and then picking 5 backups is working, though I still feel the pressure of the rest. 

For now I am a "work in progress' I still feel sometimes down, sometimes lost and sometimes upset with myself, but I am now starting to have purpose and feel more valued. I will catch you up on my progress, and I hope what I've written above can help someone else.

Thankyou for connecting, its truly appreciated.

[Bob_22]

Hi GC-435_m,

No need to be sorry at all. Thanks for your update. It's so good to hear that you've been taking active steps to improving your mental health and learning about it as well. The calm app is another great app which has breathing and mindfulness exercises on there also (I believe it is paid however). 

I understand that you are worried about finances and work. They are part of the reality of the world we live in. I would say this however, your mental health is one of the most important assets in life and I would certainly prioritise when possible. I have found that when I'm doing well mentally and in a good headspace everything else tends to fall into place. 

Thanks again for sharing and for updating. Looking forward to hearing more.

Bob