I keep on saying things I don't mean

[EIIot]

I keep on saying things I don't mean then I get judged by everyone because they took what I said out of context. I always get really bad anxiety when this happens and I'm so confused on why I keep doing it even though I'll get anxiety from it. I always say the wrong things and I'm always ashamed of myself so I always hate myself then I think everyone hates me so I cut all contact with people and then they think I hate them. I hate myself for this and I really wish I knew how to make people understand or find ways too understand people better so I don't say the wrong things.

[geoff]

Hello Ellot, thanks for being here, but what you say, there may not be anything wrong with it, because you can't believe what the others think is correct, that's only their view and I'm sure many others may see what you have said to be sensible in this particular situation.

If you stop saying what you think is right, then you're being moulded into their personality, but no matter what, you are entitled to say how you feel and if you aren't feeling well, then they need to take this into account, without judgement.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[tranzcrybe]

Do you recognise what you say is not what you meant before others react/judge? If so, a quick apology and rephrasing your thoughts could help. Or perhaps you feel like you just need to say something (anything) to show you are engaged in the group/conversation? In this case, you might find yourself putting your foot in it with brash comments. How about starting with a question (like me!) to test the waters, hone your thoughts, and give you enough opportunity to form a considered opinion?
Anxiety can really upset your train of thought and sometimes it's best to be selective with your responses (where normally this wouldn't be a problem for you) - occasionally, just a nod of acknowledgement will speak volumes. With practice comes confidence and you can relax more in company to ultimately freely express whatever is on your mind.
One last point - if you know what you have said has been misconstrued, be the first to set them straight on what you meant and try not to leave it hanging in the air. They will feel better once clarified (and so will you).

[Mk2692]

Hi EIIot,

Thanks for reaching out and welcome to the forums. I'm sorry to hear about your anxiety. Have you spoken to someone about your anxiety or seen a professional such as a psychologist or counsellor? If you think that might help you then I would recommend to see the GP for a referral. You can also reach out here on beyond blue at 1300 22 4636 or chat online on https://online.beyondblue.org.au/#/chat/start.

It sounds like you are frustrated from saying things you don't mean, have you reached out to any friends or family members about it? Have you asked them if they do judge you for it? Sometimes we feel like we say something wrong and people judge us for it, but that might not be the case at all. You might find ease when speaking to people around you about this situation, it might be that they never noticed this and it might be your thoughts that make you feel this way. Hope this helps.