i just feel trapped in my thoughts

charlotte2 · ‎27-07-2020

i'm scared. im only 14 and i have these horrible, horrible thoughts that aren't even my voice. it's like that voice is a whole new person and it's not how I think. my inner me is screaming to be let out but, these thoughts are taking over. they are something I would never think about. something I would never do and it's definetely not how I feel. i just want it to stop and I feel like I'm drowning and there's no way out. I've told my parents before but they thought it would just go away and it did for a bit so they didnt do anything about it. I havent told them that it's come back though. And I'm so scared of this person that I've become. I just want to be the bubbly girl who wasn't like this.

Sophie_M · ‎27-07-2020

Hi Charlotte,

It is so brave of you to share what must be very frightening thoughts with us here today. We want you to know you've come to a safe and non-judgmental place where users give and receive support based on their own experiences of mental health. We're here to provide you with as much support, advice and conversation as you need.

It sounds like you could do with some help about how to approach your parents about this. We recommend reaching out to our friends at Kids Helpline., They're available 24/7 by phone on 1800 55 1800 or via webchat: https://kidshelpline.com.au/get-help/webchat-counselling

Our support service is also available to you 24/7 with support, advice, some counselling and referrals approriate to your needs.

Please keep checking in and letting us know how you're getting on whenever you feel up to it.

Aaronsis · ‎27-07-2020

Hi Charlotte

I firstly want to say how wise you are to know that the voices that you are hearing and the thoughts that you are thinking are not you, they are not who you are and they do not get to chose. They are just that, thoughts and they do not have to be actioned. I am also really pleased to hear that you are not feeling the way these thoughts are leading you.

I am wondering if it is time to share this with your parents so that they can help you to get some help and to address this. Maybe you can even start off on the Kids HelpLine web chat or phone chat to get some ideas and some ways to communicate this to your parents so that they can know the severity of what you are hearing and thinking and how much it is impacting you right now.

I am so sorry this is happening to you, it must be very scary and also very frustrating at the same time. I am so very proud of you for coming here to chat and to let out how you are feeling and to get some support. I could ask you about ways to distract from this and what you like to do to perhaps turn to when you are feeling like the noise is too loud or the thoughts are too much, while that might be good for sometimes I think it would be great to get some professional help and to get some advice.

If you feel worried or scared to tell your parents you might even write them a note that does explain how you are feeling and what you are hearing and even what you have put here is an excellent start to let them know that this is not just a thought here or a voice there, that is it serious and that you are feeling very scared and very worried and need some help.

We are here for you to help you get this off your chest and to let you know that you are not alone and this sort of thing does happen to others as well.

I hope to chat to you some more Charlotte and to also helping you get back the bubbly girl that you are.

Hugs to you

Sarah

Gambit87 · ‎27-07-2020

Hi Charlotte,

Thank you for sharing, You are very brave!

I know exactly what your going through! I too have horrible thoughts and I fought them constantly which left me feeling so drained and mentally exhausted. I usually get these thoughts when I'm really stressed and anxious.

These thoughts are just that, thoughts. YOU are not your thoughts.

They're terrible and scary and your brain does this to get a reaction! The more you react, the more it happens. Think of it as a small child banging pots - you get annoyed (react) and tell them to stop but they keep doing it and you get more annoyed. Instead of getting annoyed - ignore the child! The child looses interest and stops. As soon as you get one of these thoughts - Acknowledge it - label it as fake news (thats what I do) and move on by focusing on something else.

Its easier said then done and takes alot of hard work, but these thoughts loose their power when you dont react to them. For me, they go away as quickly as the come in. I do get the occasional one that makes me go 'oof, what the heck brain'? But I know that these are just fake news thoughts that don't mean anything.

I encourage you to have a good chat with your parents! talking about this (as hard as it is) helps alot! I encourage you to go see a GP with your parents to get advice and maybe even a referal to a psychologist. A psychologist will help you understand these thoughts and develop strategies to get past them.

You are not alone.

therising · ‎28-07-2020

Hi charlotte

I feel for you so much as you struggle to make sense of things at the moment. So glad you came here to try and work things out. By coming here, you've actually raised yourself to find the support you need and hopefully some answers.

Wondering if you can elaborate on your thoughts. It's up to you. No pressure. Personally, I find the mind to be a bit of a quirky thing at times where what comes to mind can be open to interpretation. Maybe it's a matter of interpreting what's coming to mind for you. Give you an example of what I'm talking about:

I can interpret 'What's wrong with me, why can't I be happy' in 2 very different ways

It can be interpreted as a statement. 'What's wrong with me, why can't I be happy!' is a statement that can lead us to feel both defective and depressed and understandably so, when phrased this way
It can be interpreted as a legitimate question that can lead to revealing answers. Just say we're in the habit of believing abusive and degrading statements from people, directed towards us. 'What's wrong with me is the fact that I believe in the lies of others. I can't be happy because I believe in the lies.' You can always spot a degrading lie someone has fed you - it will feel horrible. So, if someone was to say to me 'You're hopeless', straight away it would leave me feeling down/low. If someone was to say 'You're amazing', straight away I would feel on a high, raised. It's kind of like our feelings detect the truth of the matter. If you're a very sensitive person, you'll be able to feel what is a lie and what is the truth. You should try it. Our feelings are amazing things that can help us master coming to know our self better

Charlotte, I've found what can feel like depressing statements are actually inspiring thoughts that are leading me to analyse my life more closely. If I don't analyse these thoughts, I can't make more sense of them

'I can't go on like this anymore' means something has to change. The challenge involves figuring out what needs to change
'I feel zero excitement in life' means I have to assess what I need to bring into my life to make it more exciting. The things that used to excite me simply don't excite me anymore
'What's wrong with me, why am I so angry all the time?' can mean I've been tolerating something that I just can't tolerate anymore. It's reached the point of angering, without me realising. Degrading behaviour directed to towards us is a good example of what we shouldn't be tolerating

🙂